I’m a single mom, running a business, working a lot of hours and caring for my son for the last 5 years pretty much on my own. I have a small handful of people including my older son & his girlfriend that I could turn to should I need help or if my son is in a crisis. And I emphasize small because it really is. Like 4 people (my mom & dad have both passed and I’m an only).
My question is do I let someone into my life as in a significant other to help? Do I chance this? There are so many things that could potentially go wrong with this scenario, starting with my son not accepting it and possibly being a trigger for him (it’s just been he & I for so long), my having to find more time now for a relationship, and of course the obvious, if things don’t work out. I don’t need the additional stress that a relationship could bring.
I’m just so used to doing everything myself and carrying the entire burden, and I’ve gotten somewhat comfortable with it. But it is just so exhausting mentally and physically, and the little time that I do have I’ve gotten kind of selfish about it. Not sure I’d want to sacrifice that time for someone else. I’ve grown to love my alone time, even if very brief, just to unhinge.
But it’s so tiresome, and sometimes I do feel lonely and wish I had an understanding, supportive partner Who’d help if he could. This would have to be key.
I know couples who have a MI child don’t always see eye to eye on things as far as the best course of treatment or how to handle a stressful situation that may arise. And therefore, it puts a strain on the relationship.
I’m just torn. Am I meant to just live out the remainder of my days alone, caring for my son? Or is there hope that maybe my life can have some meaning in addition to my son being my whole world? And I also wonder if I can even give any part of myself to anyone, I’m completely drained and sometimes feel mindless from taking care of my son. He will always be my #1 priority, and I know that will not change.
Anyone have any thoughts on this? Go it alone or give someone a chance and let them in? This is another issue, I’m very guarded when it comes to letting people around my son, and my first instinct is to always protect him.
Just some thoughts that occasionally enter my mind