I mostly use these posts just to get my thoughts down. I make short notes every day for myself so I can remember how things were in the past & see trends. Then, I do these posts now & then. If they help your or anyone else, that’s a bonus.
But, I don’t really think even his doctors know exactly what to do to help. They have ideas, of course, but they’re going slower than I would like, and there’s a lot of guesswork involved. His case manager/therapist is still trying to build a relationship. He just went to Philadelphia for training & wants to try a new approach with him that I think he said people were having some luck with. They’ll identify a goal he wants to meant, whether it’s something basic like finding a girlfriend or something extreme like being a pilot.
Then, everything they do will be geared towards meeting that goal, whether it’s reachable or not, they’ll make progress. It’ll give him something to be excited about & a reason to do things - maybe get him out of his head a little.
If they can find a goal he’ll get a little obsessed with, it’ll be good. He’s done this himself when he was younger - first, he started learning how to draw when he was in elementary school & was clearly gifted by the time he graduated. They made his art classes independent study and he won some regional awards - all while he was very, very ill.
He taught himself how to play the guitar pretty well because he thought it would help him meet girls. He still plays beautifully.
As far as going out, we went out today, and it was a marked difference in functioning from last Sunday until today.
Last week – he didn’t want to go at first, but he put on clean clothes & off we went to the saltwater aquarium store. He looked around for about an hour, made lots of comments, was engaged. Said he really enjoyed it when we left & we got Dairy Queen on the way home.
This week - he put on a shirt, but wouldn’t change his sweat pants or put on anything other than bedroom slippers. We went to a different store, and the expression on his face never changed as he looked around - very flat. And he didn’t have much to say. When we left, he didn’t want any Dairy Queen this time - just wanted to go home and try to go to sleep.
We did stop by the pharmacy first so he could talk to the pharmacist - he had convinced himself that they were giving him meds to make him sterile. She told him it could lower his sperm count or decrease his sex drive while he was taking it, but it would be very unlikely to make him sterile. He said that made him feel a little better, but he also gave her a little speech about how the Invega does nothing - doesn’t make him feel better or worse, just nothing. Maybe he’s right. Now, I’m wondering if easing his mind about that helped his anxiety go down & maybe he’ll sleep & be a little better?
And, we went into this new store we have here called Gabes so he could pick out some new T-shirts. It’s a kind of laid back place that appears to resell clearance type stuff from other stores, so perfect for someone who may or may not wear what they buy. He picked out 3 T shirts, a pair of sleep pants & some shorts - plus, I got 2 oversized men’s T’s to sleep in all for $50.
Luckily, he stayed with me through the register this time. Usually, he goes back out to the car while I pay, but I was a little scared he wouldn’t find the car, or would forget he was supposed to go to the car, and just wander off. I can see he’s not firing on all cylinders right now.
And, once again, 2 weeks ago, he was doing really, really well.