How could I build a trust with someone rejects my existence? Last time I tried to talk to him, he went crazy for knocking his door, keep cursing me and my family, he rejects everything around him, me our parents meds doctors hospital, it is a real dilema, can’t help him and he doesn’t give a chance to help him, I started to believe he lost hope that is why he doesn’t wana get out of darkness of his room, I guess that is wat he is thinking " I don’t have a life, no friends no real job, no girl to love, why should I live or get over my illness ??"
You are off to a good start by being here. This were we can find our way, the possibilities are there. Reading what Schizophrenia people are going from different posts will help. Asking questions of people with ScSchizophrenia. Create a topic of discussion here . NAMI.ORG is a good place to find some help and contacting them about your situation. But it sounds like he is in a psychosis state and what you say to him will be crucial to how things go. You can say I have some snacks on the table for you. There is your coffee I would like to put your medicIne in the coffee. What do you think, is this ok. Tell him what you are doing for him and let him respond. He has an illness and he needs help and he needs family support. To reduce the burden and stress, you must speak with careful and caring words. Having his snacks, meals and medicine on the table ready for him. You can come and sed what I have for you. You can show him his medicine is there, his drink, and food to eat. You can do this with his clothes and to show him to clean up. It’s time to clean up. How about you go and clean the dishes. Your clothes are there ready for you to change. I know this hard on you and your family. There are solutions and there are charities that may help you because of your circumstance. Search on Google foe charities for schizophrenia
Here is a charity you may want to contact them to see how you can get help in your area They have Pdf file on psychosis and schizophrenia
http://www.rethink.org/diagnosis-treatment/transforming-psychosis-care
I think what also important is a person with a mental illness needs a motivation to do better. The need to be encouraged to express what motivates them, what makes them happy. Having a journal to write in, watching movies, music, art, walks, find out what his interest are in. A mental illness should not be a stigma so please know the facts. When you approach a person with a mental illness, make sure you have something for the person in your hand ready give him, such as his favorite food, his favorite drink, whatever is his favorite, his favorite shirt or favorite pen. You must have it ready to give to the person. You can say I have your coffee the way like it then you can proceed to knock on door. I have sz and other mental illnesses. I’m constantly stimulating my mind with brain games, puzzles, games that are fun and learning. I have a lot of apps. I feel my brain needs constant stimulation. Making sure I eat good, drink a lot of water, take vitamins and practice good hygiene.
That’s why I’m hear my 14 yr old was diagnosed two weeks ago and I have tried to as much as I can from everyone I can.
I suggest researching the basic facts about schizophrenia online.
You know, It makes sense that genetics and environmental factors attribute to sz. My sister is a twin and my mother never sought obstetric care until she was 8 months. I was 7 years older than my sisters, but our childhood was shy of miserable. It was full with abuse, alcoholism, there were a lot of traumatic events in our life. Through all events I felt that this altered something is her brain, along with her puberty coming along. It is when it all started. It is interesting finding about sz, just wish there was a cure.
sure, you can pm me on this site.
I think this forum, researching, reading lots of books taught me to learn and understand what my loved one might be going through has helped me out a lot…Still learning how to cope the last 5 years but here is the list of things that has helped me along the way
art
gardening
movies
accepting the person now with the illness
talking to a good friend that will just listen
talking to other people that are going through the same thing
@lily, schizophrenia is no more severe the younger you get it. I wouldn’t believe hype other people post. Popele do recover and get better. It just take a caring supportive family. Keep up the support.
I am still in the learning phase of coping with my wife who has SZ. Essentially she is harmless but when she is in a delusional state it is very difficult to be in close quarters with her as she neglects her appearances, talks to herself and the voices, laughs incessently, and has the belief that she is a biblical character and needs to take necessary actions as that character because she thinks the endtimes are near.
Fun times. I use humour to get myself through it but when I am home in a 1:1 situation it is very difficult to accept the changes that my wife has gone through and the feeling of being stuck in a situation where I will be the caregiver in a marriage that I thought would be so much more.
What I’ve learned is that you have to try to not let your stresses be known to your partner because they will just go deeper into their false state of reality. In fact, my observation is that large stresses drives my partner into a deeper layer of delusion, whereas low stress and acceptance that she “is who she is” makes her more functional and “normal” it seems – the delusions seem to be more tolerable when the stress is not there.
Still, it is difficult. But most advice says that you have take care of yourself by getting the right rest, socializing, and talking to people. That allows you to cope with the situation much better.
Hello, I need ur advice, in a brief, my SZ brother has been locked up in a mental institution 3 weeks ago, he went there involuntary, which it was the most harmful situation in my life, me and mom were allowed for a visit last week, and definitely he went mad for wat we did, and kept nagging to leave while his doctor insisted he needs more time, I feel he needs me around if he showed hatred towards me, should I visit him again or wait his release? I m sorry I couldn’t clarify in a brief as I said formerly
I can empathize with your brother. Early on in my illness, I hated hospitalizations with a passion. When my family visited, I was so upset, thinking it was them that put me there and it was them that were keeping me there.
My advice is to limit your visits. Have a reason to go: bringing him clothes/ cigarettes/ change for phone calls, a family session w/ therapist, etc. Having a reason will diffuse the situation and him hopefully he won’t feel as much resentment towards you or other family. Hope this helps.
Thanks alot for ur fast response and useful advice, God bless u
Don’t always believe the gloom and doom I was told I couldn’t work and called from the mental hospital payphone to get a job for 8 years. Now the only reason I don’t work is I can’t find a job.
A few things I have done that helped. I got and still get counseling for myself. I get down about the lost future for my son and when he goes through an episode where I see him suffer.
Second, I have gained information from NAMI by taking their Family to Family class. Also researching the illness helps.
I have a different relationship with my son now. I am his support, not his mommy. Sure, I still remind him to brush his teeth in a very casual way, but I don’t tell him what to do and I totally respect his right to make his own choices.
I walk the journey with my son. I walk beside him, not in front leading, or in back avoiding. I protect him by telling him all the information I can about something and telling him he can ask questions, but I don’t make his decisions.
And, after 12 years of this journey, I have found acceptance and even joy. I thought I lost my son - like you say “transformation.” Yes, he is different, but he is still in there. I look for him, I wait for him and I love him through everything. Now, we talk and I see his good heart and pure soul, I see his compassion for others and I am so proud of all that he does. Our relationship saves both of us when things get bad. Just being there is always a help. No judgment, no trying to change him, just acceptance and help when it is asked for.
You are very lucky they found it so early. My son started with symptoms at 15 but hid them. He returned from a visit to his father of about 3 months at age 18 full-blown. I couldn’t find help. But you just continue on, do what you have to do, and love all along the way. It has gotten better for me and my son, there is hope for your sister to find a comfort and satisfaction in her life.
Thanks for your kind support and advice, hope everything is great with you 