Sando, please keep us posted how that residential facility is working for you and son. Are you his legal guardian, given that he is an adult?
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Patti
Please stay hopeful. Itās so hard. My daughter had a similar situation when she was diagnosed with Schizoaffective Disorder 15 years ago. Possibly Latuda or Abilify might help your daughter? Both of those have dramatically helped my daughter manage her illness. Latuda caused less problems with weight gain. Both of them would begin to decrease the voices and delusions within a week. Also helped her think clearly enough to start a very basic part time job.
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Patti, also the Podcast Inside Schizophrenia and website Psych Central have helped both my daughter and myself
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Continuing the discussion from What is the hardest part of having a child with schizophrenia?:
It is hard to say what the hardest part is because it is all so damn hard. My son is 35. I have known something was wrong with him since he was an infant, but he didnāt have his first psychotic break until he was 25 and his girlfriend was pregnant with their first child. They had a second child 5 years ago but divorced shortly after. He has only supervised visitation and only on the rare occasions that he has been relatively sane and sober (dual diagnosis). The hardest part for me now is watching my grandson grow up without the father he lived with and loved for the first five years of his life. The young one hardly knows her father. Meanwhile, my son goes through the revolving door of mental hospitals, rehabs, jail and living on the street, always in denial of either illness and therefore noncompliant with any treatment. I am his only caregiver so, of course, he saves his angry venom and worst behavior for me. Four days ago he screamed and threatened me to the point I called the police (again) so heās now in the hospital (again) and will be released in a couple of days for the cycle to start all over again. I love my son and my grandchildren and it breaks my heart every single day. I exercise, take anti-depressants, do yoga and meditation, but still some days I canāt get out of bed. Yes, I think it would be much easier to deal with his death than this.
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Iām in the same place Patti. Iām so sorry youāre going through so much. I understand because my son has the voices as well. It hurts that we canāt do more to help our children with such a dreadful disease.
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Kiki. Heart breaking alongside you. Hang in there. So very tragic.
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Will do. New Roads Behavioral Health. Utah. 45 days in and like what weāve experienced. Unfortunately our son left AMA but came back within 24 hours. Heās still very convinced in his delusions and that weāre not understanding him. But we remain hopeful. Not easy but we have to hold on.
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I understand and can relate to every single thing you saidā¦I am so sorry that you or anyone else has to go thru this.
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I can relate to absolutely every single word you have written here. My daughter is now 20 and the past 3 years have been hell since her first psychotic episode and hospitalisation. I find it too difficult to look at old photographs , she was a bright funny popular ambitious girl - all gone now. I canāt remember the last time I had a ānormalā conversation with her. I feel so desperately sad at the life she is living now as her old friends move on and drift away. It is a horrible illness and yes it does feel a little like a bereavement. Just try to keep it in the day and to remain hopeful, just want her to have some quality of life and happiness . Thoughts are with you. Thank goodness for the forum, to be able to communicate with people who understand 
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So true. Photos, videos of Christmas and birthdays, token objects like game balls, trophies or his crystal rock collection send me spiraling on a bad journey.
My first stop is Blametown. Did I cause this?!! What did I do?! No wait, the doctors got it wrong. These drugs caused this. No wait, it was YouTube that poisoned his brain! Itās a dreary, paranoid place.
Next stop, Angryville. Why him? Why us? #^*%Ā„!!!
Next stop, Weepy Hollow, where it always rains and I mostly just feel so very sad and depressed.
Finally, I get back home to Acceptance Shire where Iāve learned to smell the roses, enjoy a walk with my sonās dog, drink a bottle of wine, hug my wife, play Rumikube with my other kids, and spend time with friends who know and love me.
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I never thought of that - that your sz child sees or feels that disappointment. How very astute. It must be devastating to them.
I have come to realize that EVERY day my son deals with something that not only requires an effort beyond his abilities, but the abilities of most people. I admire his courage and strength when he comes to us and asks for help. When he goes a day without trying to escape that pain without liquor or drugs.
The world will never applaud those with SMI. Itās not cute and cuddly. It doesnāt pull at the heartstrings like the picture of a child in hunger, or a young child with severe disease or other affliction. An adult with SMI is not photogenic. They arenāt someone you want to cuddle on your lap. They arenāt poster children for donations.
I thought about what it would be like if my son hadnāt survived his suicide attempt. Why? Because I have wondered if his pain surviving with schizoaffective is worse. Itās not about me - itās about him. Would life be easier for me? Of course - but thatās not the point. The point is cherishing your child. The point is worrying about the hell they go through every single day, and wanting desperately to help them. The point is respecting and admiring the courage they have to face everyday. Could you?
The point is to look forward and not back. You can only help if you look forward and try to move forward with determination and courage. And for heavens sakes donāt try to to it alone. No one has a magic answer - but having someone else understand because they are in the same boat helps you keep your sanity and bearings.
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Yes, at times. Thatās why I generally advise caregivers to grieve in private if possible. The child will pick up on it regardless. Try instead to focus on successes and new gains from the new ānormalā, not what was lost. Try to treat the situation as if they had a traumatic brain injury like a stroke or head injury.
Anasognosia was coined to describe lack of insight in people with these injuries. But even if you lack insight, you may pick up on social cues and can be puzzled or angry why things arenāt working out for you and people treat you differently. Yet you may not think much has changed. Thereās a fish-out-of-water or Rip Van Winkle effect that can persist and leave you a bit lost and rudderless. When people treat you differently as if you are a ghost or imposter with grief in their eyes, it can be alienating and make your life feel cursed somehow. I understand caregivers have a need to process their losses, but have care you donāt abandon your loved one who needs you to be present.
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Yes, yes, yes, YES! If people had any idea, they would show our family members with smi a great deal of respect.
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The last thing our family members need is us making their lives more difficult.
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My 19 year old son is just recently diagnosed in October 2020. Itās as if I wrote this myself.
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You are not alone . There are many of us and just remember to take care of yourself first. That is not selfish. -Julie
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I knowā¦ We try to be there for him and make sure he knows we love him and want to help him understand we are there for him.
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I think the hardest part is seeing how lonely he is. He does not have friends and spends most days in the house pacing and smoking. It is so heartbreaking.
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I agree my 27 year old son was on his own had a good welding job and decided to do acid with some not good people and thatās when it all went downhill. Months later an evil voice told him to get out of his own house. He hit a vehicle head on and ended up in the mental health floor. His father and I are trying to get him on the right track with his meds. He has no insurance at the time and has been hard to get him proper help. I feel useless and donāt know where to turn.
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Can he get medicaid? Search your county government services for mental health.