Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

What's wrong with my mom?


#1

Hi there, the name’s Jordan. I’m not here for myself, but for my mom.

For the past two years or so, my family and I have been stressing and in pain due to my mom’s mental mind. She has never been this way before, and in fact you’d never that she’s the same person because before this massacre, she was the most fun-loving, caring, and awesome mother to me and my younger sister. But that all changed in the ending of 2011.

Please note, this is a long and drama-filled story. But I need answers. I’m only 15 and don’t know where to turn, and it seems like nobody at this point will help me in helping my mom recover.

It all started a couple weeks before Christmas in 2011, when I felt like I lost my mom. My dad was arrested for about a month for reasons I didn’t know, and my mom was angry and annoyed because my dad has been in and out of jail since I could remember. To get over it, my mom did something I never would’ve imagined. She signed up to this dating website, and instantly met this guy who she said she was gonna marry, and leave my real dad. As weeks went on, she was ADDICTED to her phone and wouldn’t stop texting this guy. That led her to stop taking her medication for her anxiety and depression, because when she was around my age, she and her friends were in a car accident, leaving her traumatized and without a foot. Because of her talking constantly to this guy, she interacted less with me and my sister. Now I’m not gonna go into full detail on what happened next, because that’d just take too long. Long story short this guy apparently was MARRIED so my mom instantly stopped talking to him, and she was even in more trouble because at this time my dad was released from jail and he found out, leading her to constantly argue with him, destroying their relationship. My dad still stuck around though, mainly for me and my sister.

After that whole mess, my mom was so depressed about the other guy being married, she would lay in bed all day, still refusing to take her medication. This led to mood swings, and something even more shocking and weird. Her life from this point on I will categorize as ‘phases’ .Now 2012, my mom’s first mental phase she would countlessly call psychics and ask things that related to the guy she talked to before, and even our family’s life. She did that for a good three months.

During her second mental phase, she would always talk about god, and reminding me to always pray to him, and be grateful. I counted one day how many times she said that to me, and the total count was a good 15 in one day. That wasn’t all, she would fill my mind with lies and say how my dad was gay, and had sex with other men, with absolutely no proof whatsoever. She’d also say famous people knew us, and they would try sending us gifts, but ‘other people’ stole them from us. That phase lasted almost three months also.

The next phase scarred my and my sister quite well. It was her abusive and aggressive phase. She would constantly fight with others, including the neighbors, over the smallest things. With my family though, she’d get into PHYSICAL fights with mostly my dad and grandma, which terrified my little sister. I was terrified to when it would happen, but I didn’t like showing it or else my sister would freak out even more. Sadly, this phase hasn’t really ended yet. Yes she’s less aggressive, but will get quite aggravated easily. She also still has no problem getting physical.

Her next phase is still ongoing, and I hate it. For about a year now starting in late 2012, she has been talking and laughing to herself, saying that the government is sending her secret messages. I ask what ‘messages’ they are sending her, and she responds saying she now has a job, spying on people and collecting information, stating that person is not who they are. I still don’t get it. My mom will also say that people want to destroy our family, and we always need to be careful. With her talking to herself, also comes her crying and shouting outbursts. When she cries, she’s literally shouting, saying nonsense like people are hurting her and trying to take her soul away or something. She still does that today, and that’s what the family’s most upset about.

There’s one more thin I should add, my mom smokes weed. I know she didn’t want me to find out, but eventually I did. I was shocked. I was shocked because before when she was a great mom, she would always express how much she hated drugs, and she would never do them. But there she was, smoking weed on her bed. But what shocked me the most was her reaction when I found it. When I walked in her room, she had a blank face, and just asked me to walk out. That’s it. No other response. I also found out my DAD supplied her with the weed, and he smoked it with her before. And he still supplies her with it to this day, because if he doesn’t, she’ll turn aggressive.

In present day, I have to say my mom has lost some of her mental tendencies, but she still talks to herself, has those crying outbursts, still is smoking weed, and will not go back on her medications. Please, I need to know what you guys think, and your advice on what I should do on my part to help my mom recover. My family officially refuses to help her because how uncooperative she is, and sometimes they’re even scared of her. There are countless nights when I cry myself to sleep, because of the chance I may never get the mom I know and love back. On other forums across the internet, people tell me different reasons and I just don’t know anymore. Anything helps.

Thanks in advance, - Jordan


#2

Hi Jordan-glad you came to this site.
Sometimes, a person can become psychotic if their depression and anxiety go on for too long.
I can`t diagnose your Mom—she HAS to get in to see a doctor. I wonder why your Dad has not taken her himself?
Is there anyone else in your family that you can talk to?
Or, if things get to hard to deal with-you and your sister can stay with them?
Look up NAMI.org and see if there is a local support group near you. You can talk to them about what to do.
You are very young to be dealing with this by yourself.
Also, calling social services in your area should be able to help. Also try Adult protection Services. Hope you can get your Dad on board with this.
Come back anytime and let us know how you are doing.
Much love OO


#3

What state and county do you live in? If you haven’t already contacted the county and private s/s agencies there, I will get back to you with places to start making contacts.

How old is your younger sister?

Do you and her have anywhere else you can go; anyone else in or out of your family you can live with for a while?

Do you know what “child emancipation” is? If not, you may want to look into it at… https://www.law.cornell.edu/wex/emancipation_of_minors and http://ctlawhelp.org/a-teenagers-guide-to-emancipation#. I bring this up, because it sounds like you may actually be better off jumping from this sinking ship than trying to bail water in it if you can get your sister handled via public or private agencies.

Your story is a “classic” among those who work in county DPSS offices across the country. Once you get in touch with the one in your county, they will have no trouble understanding and knowing what to do for you and your sister…

BUT…

Your mother and father may never be able to get on board with a functional program if they are as dysfunctional as you describe. I am myself a (long-) recovering drug addict, and I have extensive experience working with others who are likewise. Unless or until your parents get clean, and stay that way, all of the other problems you describe are pretty much insoluble.


#4

Are there any other family members you can talk to and possibly live with them until this gets figured out. You are too young to enforce your mom to take meds etc. thats your Dads job. Right now you should take care of you sister and find a place she and you can temporarily stay. Dont forget you can always talk to your school psychologist/teacher/Principal. when things get bad or scary.They will help you.


#5

Hi Jordan,

I am new to this site.

My mom does a lot of the same things that yours is doing, sorry that you have to go thru it all. It’s angering, saddening and hurtful. I still can’t make sense of it but I will say over the years I’ve learned acceptance, and that I need to not let my moms illness control me and my life. Sometimes it’s like she’s just selfish about her emotions and not mine :frowning: makes me mad/sad. The best thing to do I think is learn to when to ignore, accept and help, and when to be strong. I’m still working on the middle one… Having no control over her actions and not getting thru to her makes it hard to say “I accept and care for u no matter who u are”. Just know that you are YOU and not her and you can be the coolest/smartest/greatest person in the world! Don’t let her decide who you will be or how you feel when she acts up (easier said than done. Lol)

my simple advice is this. Know her for her good, forgive her for her evils, and lastly… Try to be a friend even though you KNOW you are the daughter and are supposed to get her as the friend. You will be and probably are more mature than everyone, and as you grow up will become more comprehensive in sensitivity and understanding. So even when it feels like momma ain’t teaching me nothing… She is ! Lol :slight_smile:

Wish you the best, I can send u my gmail if you want to email! And keep up the good work being a good daughter :slight_smile:

Colleen

Ps re reading this I realized I forgot to mention how hard it is to balance how often you let your moms behavior be accepted because I think otherwise if mental illness is accepted too easily it becomes an excuse that can go unchecked.


#6

How old was your mom in 2011? She sounds like she obviously has ‘something’ , I would doubt though , its a full blown psychotic disorder. Do you have any idea what meds she used to take?