Help please -my two brothers both have schizophrenia and my younger brother (unmedicated) things his older brother (medicated) is poisoning him. They both have a life estate in the same house. My niece ( POA for older brother) has filed a restraining order to have him evicted. My brother violated the RO and is now in jail… His hearing is Thursday,California family court. Any advice, he is on SSI. Can I ask the judge to order medication to allow him to stay in his home. If he is forced to leave he will be homeless.
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Laws vary from state to state and the application of state laws can vary from county to county. Consult your brother’s attorney about your question. In my non-legal knowledge opinion, you can always ask the judge.
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Thank you, my brother has no attorney at this time. His illness does not allow him to acknowledge he needs assistance. At this point I am it. I was told this judge is “law and order” I assume that means common sense and compassion does not apply.
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Do you have a mental health court in your location? I know you mentioned his case was being heard in family court. Could you get his case switched to a mental health court? Your brother is representing himself?
When my brother was facing criminal court charges, I called the mental health court office in his area and they were quite helpful in answering my questions.
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Does your Niece share your view? There’s a reason she has POA presumably. Seems like she would be the right place to engage on the discussion.
None of us have any idea of your struggles. And we all have our own problems. Anything we share is purely to show our love and support.
But maybe, just maybe, your niece feels like him being homeless will eventually lead to his improvement. I know that was a scary-ass line we had to draw with my son. His realization that mom/dad would let him lug his sad little shitty suitcase to the homeless shelter was critical to his commitment to do his part.
Regardless, you are not alone. Prayers for your brothers.
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thank you Hope! I do not know but I will look into this. You have given me Hope. Bless you.
Thank you Sando, I have witnessed my brother struggle with his illness for over 40 years. If I thought for a second homelessness would be a driver to seek help, I would have kicked him out myself. In California we have thousands of homeless struggling with mental illness living on the streets. It is a tragedy we as a society do not demand this be dealt with. My biggest fear is that my brother being homeless will escalate into violence. I wish you and your family well.
thank you Hope! I do not know but I will look into this. You have given me Hope. Bless you.
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Understood. And we have to know our own situation to deal with the nuances of outcomes. Clearly you will know better than any of us!!! Hang in there and keep loving your brothers. Please keep us posted.
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When my daughter was arrested and in jail I asked the judge for help to get her medicated. She otherwise would NEVER have agreed as she could not see that she was ill. She thought she was gifted with ESP with higher beings. The judge put medication as a requirement of her being released from jail. She has been on medication ever since, and is now leading a new life with a job and friends. I am thankful she was arrested and that the judge let me speak. She screamed at the judge when I was talking to him that “I wasn’t her mother” which of course helped to show she was unstable. I felt guilty forcing her through the courts to be medicated, but I KNEW it was the right thing to do, no matter how hard. I wish you luck in helping your brother, but while he is in jail, perhaps you could talk to the judge about forcing medication.
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Thank you Ladyblue, I am going to call the mental health court this morning to seek advice. I do not want my brother to resent me, I am the only family member that does not want him to be thrown out of a house and made homeless. He has been on court order meds in the past. He discontinued as soon as he was off probation. I will so my best to have him get some help.
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Hard truth but my son tried to hurt me several times. Claiming repeatedly that he wanted to kill me. He attacked most ferociously whenever I drew a line. When I had him committed against his will. The hatred, the venom, the resentment still hurt if I let myself relive those horrible days.
But now, after repeated ‘drawing the line’ and not caving to the hate or threats, he’s stable. He’s medically compliant. We hung out for the SuperBowl and laughed and had a wonderful time. He said, and I quote, “I’m having a great time with you dad.”
Of course I know that his ongoing mental health is a daily battle. And I never, never assume ‘yay, it’s all good now!’ Impossible actually. Too many scars.
But I know that moments of love and authentic relationship wouldn’t have been possible unless I’d draw the line. He needed help. We needed help. We were unsafe. We were incapable of loving him enough to wish it away.
The fear of resentment is real. I’ve felt it. But the fear of him not getting the proper help to live his best life is what mattered most. Sucks. And I’m sorry for your pain. But there is some hope on the other side of that fear. Keep the faith.
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@Lilsis did the past court ordered meds help your brother? When I asked for a court order for my daughter, I already KNEW that prior meds had helped. It is totally normal and almost to be expected for someone who doesn’t think they are ill to come off of their medicine, as the medicines have side effects that are very real. I was the only one who could judge improvement in my daughter. She was unable to see improvement until years after she was medicated.
@Sando is so very right, it is very important to draw the line at important times. Your brother is about to become homeless. From a place he has a right to live in. Seems like if meds will help, it is time to draw that line.
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Thank you both, the past meds controlled his symptoms but not in the best way. He slept all the time. He is a wiz with electronics and did nothing while on meds. It was only after he came off that he began tinkering again. I am going to try calling the public defender to discuss best possible options for my brother. I want him to get the help he needs before anybody gets hurt.
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Sando, thank you needed to read this today. Means a lot!