My son has been accepting help with cleaning his apt and then not accepting it. Recently he has become ill with a physical disease that is just being diagnosed. When listening to him talk about what would be something that would make him happy he talked about really wanting to have access to the internet as the one thing he would really like to have so he can download books and movies and music.
My service provider recently had a promotion for cable tv and internet with unlimited 1.5 GB / sec download. (This is so exciting for him)I asked him if he would be willing to let the person who was helping him clean his apt once a week come back and do this again if I paid for this service for him. He agreed excitedly! So yesterday I went and cleaned his place and he helped. It’s looking good except needs some fixing with his toilet which my brother suggested we just buy him a new toilet and my brother would install it. My brother works in restoration/renovation.
He talked about why he does not really notice how unclean his place is and that the simplest solution is to put items in the garbage instead of on the floor etc. He said he thinks it’s because he spends so much time in his head in his own world that he just does not notice. Yes! The team is onboard with his other physical illness now after I helped him get to his GP after he was telling me about these symptoms he was having.
Anyway, sometimes it takes time to work things out and it is a work in progress for all of us. I think for him he wants so badly to be able to take care of himself independently without having to rely on his mom or others. It’s hard to have someone in your personal space and making decisions about you or for you. I had other thoughts around this but can’t remember now. We talked about how hard it is to accept help but in the end it does make life easier and more enjoyable. It’s good to accept help from the ACT team and others. I hope he continues to say yes to help from the team and start to enjoy his life more.