I think all of us understand and feel your pain. And, you are exactly right about family not understanding. It’s a silent illness that greatly affects those suffering from it, but most people don’t understand it and don’t care about understanding it because it doesn’t affect them. My son stays in his room much of the day, but I do require him to take daily walks with me and we also go swimming. In the beginning, he was resistant to it, but now he looks forward to it. It not only helps his physical well being, I believe it helps him mentally as well. You may have to incentivize by buying them a soft drink or iced tea or food to get them out at first, but I believe you will find they actually look forward to it eventually. Just a suggestion.
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You are not alone! I am in the same situation for almost 10 years now.
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My son is 33. He was hospitalized February 2023 because he was in psychosis. He was prescibed meds and discharged after 48 hrs. He took the medicine and was good. Spring of this year, he started answering my calls less often and he stayed on less than 5 minutes. I found out at the end of April 2024 that he’d been off his meds for two months. He was living in another state and refused to come home. He stopped working after he stopped the meds and couldn’t pay his rent. He called me when he got the eviction notice. I let him get evicted to force him to return home.
I hadn’t seen him in six months. When he got here, he looked emaciated. I had him hospitalized again here. They kept him a week. He told me that they diagnosed him with schizoaffective disorder. He won’t tell me if he left with a prescription. He’s not a minor and won’t sign a release. So he’s with me untreated. Going days without sleep. Pacing and talking to himself. Making loud noises and speaking gibberish. At times he’s hostile and has angry outbursts, but he’s not suicidal and hasn’t threatened me, so there’s nothing legally I can do. He wants to return to where he was living and expects me to get him an apartment. I don’t want him to go back if he’s refusing treatment. I’m going to lie and tell him that I couldn’t get approved for an apartment so he has no choice but to stay.
Maybe someone has suggestions for how to get him to agree to treatment or if there’s a legal option, other than hospitalization. That was pointless. And if not, I’ve at least found some people who know what it’s like.
Hi Yolanda, Welcome to the forum. Searching old threads is a great way to get a lot of information. Enter “LEAP” and Dr Amador into the search area for a host of threads that can help you.
Would your son agree to take meds as part of an agreement for you to give him an apartment?
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No. It made him angry when I said that. He said he’d just fly back and stay in a shelter. Even if he agreed, I don’t think he’d comply. He refuses to sign a release so I wouldn’t be able to keep track with his doctor. I’m in Texas. He’d be in California. It’s about a 4 hour flght so I couldn’t regularly check on him.
Hi Yolanda, I can totally relate to you, my 29 year old son had not been on his meds since April 2024 and he is really losing it. He is talking jibberish and refusing to go to his doctors appointments. He lives in a condo in my neighborhood and I pay some of his expenses with his SSI, that doesn’t cover much so I pay to keep him there. I have called the police recently when he was stealing from neighbors patios and just completely psychotic. They could not take him to hospital because he was not hurting himself or someone else. I am afraid he will lose his SS and then I can t support him anymore and he will be homeless. He is talking jibberish etc. I am at wits end.
The laws really need to change. I believe in protecting individual’s rights, but you shouldn’t have to wait for your loved one to be unsuccessful in killing themselves or someone else before they’ll treat them. There’s got to be a middle ground.
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So true! It is so frustrating for the families of the severely mentally ill because they are sick and deserve help, but it is not possible if they don t seek help. And usually they won’t because their brains are not working properly.
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Hi! Hope all is well with you and your LO. I want to say thank you for encouraging me to get him on Clozapine. My son had a recent baker act and I advocated for them to give him Clozapine and they did. I have seen improvements. Although the weekly blood draws are a challenge we are doing what we have to do. I found a pharmacy by Gods grace who will ship the medicine weekly and give us in home ANC monitoring machine. It’s called Golden Gate pharmaceutical. Thank you again for your encouragement and prayers.
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Are you familiar with anosognosia aka lack of insight. There is a must have book for you, “I am Not Sick I Don’t Need Help,” by Dr. Xavier Amador. I hope this helps. I too have all these concerns.
No, I haven’t heard of it, but I will check out the book. Thank you very much!
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Special needs trust
Court ordered guardianship
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I have the same situation. My son is not awake during the day and avoids me. He is 33. He is basically non functioning and at times very disrespectful mainly when in psychosis. He has started to become weirdly verbally aggressive at times.This is new. I had to call LE on him which appears to have mellowed him out some. I don’t think he ever thought I would do that. He won’t take medication and believes he is smarter than everyone. I worry about his future. He presents very well but can’t function independent without support. He refuses any supportive services as most of the time he believes he’s fine. I’ve been a single mom and his dad passed away of cancer. His brother is not close with him due to the illness and I am not sure if he will look out for him when I’m gone. Ugh
Hello, I empathize with you and have been in the same place with my 29 year old son. He has been all over the board with his illness as has our family experiencing his ebbs and flows. He is currently on medication and is in a good place right now, but it’s been a long road getting there. He has been homeless in several cities and states across the southwest U.S., in and out of rehabs, jails, etc. He does not have a driver’s license, nor does he have access to money, and he does not have a cell phone. Those three things are key to keeping him under control. When people with this illness have freedom, they exercise that freedom in all the wrong ways, feeding their addictions. If your son has any of these, it is only a matter of time before he gets in trouble. I am only telling you this because this has been our experience with our son. It may sound cruel, not allowing him some freedom, but he has a roof over his head, 3 meals a day, a warm, comfortable bed to sleep in, safety, and he is ok with that. He well remembers sleeping on benches in the cold, and sleeping in prison cells. I don’t know how you can get your son to start taking his meds, but that is the key to giving you some relief. Somehow you need to get him to start taking his meds, staying up during the daytime and sleeping at night. He needs to be up and doing something during the daytime hours, whether it’s walks, working in the yard, hobbies, etc. I apologize for this long email, but that’s my opinion on what you need to do. I wish you well. God bless.
Here in Silicon Valley in California they try to build housing for the homeless. There are several building projects of apartment complexes going on where they set aside 20 or 40 or 60 units to specifically go to the homeless first.
I’m currently living in a studio for low income people, in a nice safe neighborhood in a nice South Bay Area city. There are known to be many mentally ill people living here and specifically people with schizophrenia. Unfortunately, the people with schizophrenia have somewhat of a negative reputation for screaming and talking to themselves but they are tolerated. I pay $786 a month for a 291 sq foot unit but there are some smaller units that go for as little as $550 a month. I was visiting a woman the other day who was in one of the smaller units and it was small but not tiny and I could see living in one of those.
Yeah, last year when I was looking for housing I applied at a bunch of low income housing and got on their waitlists but the wait for an inexpensive apartment can be a few years. Incidentally, $786 a month is very cheap for this area, it’s a nice area and close to hospitals, dentists, Target, Whole Foods, many restaurants, pharmacies and many other things.
If a person is lucky they can find income based housing where your rent is 1/3 of your income no matter what your income is. I actually lived in one of these places for 7 years about 10 years ago. It was a 420 sq foot studio where it was like new with new carpets, a new coat of paint, a brand new stove, refrigerator and microwave and the bathroom was completely redone and like new. My income was about $1600 and I paid $500 and something a month for rent. Those places are out there; I actually was on a waiting list for 4 years to get the place.
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