The word “enabling” has a negative tone these days. People think of enablers as people who make it possible for someone else to continue bad behaviors.
In the world of family members with scz, enabling is different. We are constantly trying to sort out what is positive enabling and what is negative enabling. The answers aren’t the same for everyone here. As a parent you will have to sort such decisions out -and there often isn’t a clear choice.
A lot of the anger and irritability is frustration.
My son is now 35, when he was in his early twenties, after college, he would share houses with groups of people (lowers the cost tremendously) and support himself on rather simple jobs. Pizza delivery, restaurant work, stuff like that where it is easier to get a job. He was paying his own rent and food. We paid the rest.
Looking back, I am glad now that we subsidized (enabled) his living. We did not know at the time he was suffering from scz and often beat ourselves up that we were enabling him in the negative sense.
At 35, unmedicated, he is now disabled by his scz (his is a slowly progressive version) yet, he has many life skills that make it possible for him to still do some things. Except for when he is in the middle of severe psychosis, I think he manages to have a life around his illness.
If you can afford it, and he can handle it, the life experiences are big. How far away is LA?
Your therapist and your communications with him are really working.