My 24 year old son wants to be an actor. He is angry that he is still living at home. I told him that he can move out but will need to support himself, probably with a full time job if he wants to move to Los Angeles. He says that he wants to work in a creative field but can’t find a job in anything that he is passionate about. ( He has applied for jobs that he is not qualified to do and others that are really competitive.) He did get a part in an Independent student film, but it doesn’t pay.
When I come home from work, my son starts to escalate and gets angry and irritable. He is not realistic that most people who want to be actors have to get full time jobs as waiters or in service jobs. So far he hasn’t been able to keep a job for more than 3 or 4 months. My therapist told me that when he starts yelling, I should say, “I am sorry but it is not good for me to be yelled at, so i am going to walk away now. If you calm down, I will talk to you.”:
She says that I can change my own behavior but not his.
This has worked some, because now he tells me, " I am getting angry, so I am going into my room." Or else he goes out and smokes cigarettes or pot.
He is not on medication and has been diagnosed with Psychosis NOS. The doctor did order lab work so i think he might be getting ready to suggest meds, but so far, by son has not wanted to go on them.
I am wondering if we should agree to pay half his rent if he agrees to get a full time job, so that he can move to LA and see for himself how hard it is to make it as an actor. I don’t know if he will have to fail to be willing to take meds. Or is this enabling.
If we don’t help him move out, he is stuck at home, frustrated and angry.