I am sorry that you are going through this. Yes, safety first. What I have written below is related to my experience as a family member.
Since each person diagnosed with sz is different and will have different goals and needs for support once there is stability, I think the most important aspect is to make sure our “caregiving” actually gives care to the individual person. So every family and friend needs to find out what their loved one dx’d with sz wants. That said, I support all healthy activities of my family member that I can support practically.
The advice to “lower expectations” in the acute phase of illness helped me. I stopped worrying about my family member’s lack of job and education and started to make sure food was being eaten, etc. As far as “enabling” goes, my family member was kicked out of the house for disruptive behavior. I don’t know whether this was the right choice, but I was trying to get some sleep. I still fed my family member and brought them clean clothes plus other things they wanted, so I didn’t abandon. The psychosis went on unabated because I didn’t know what to do when my family member refused to go to the doctor.
I do not believe enabling or codependence is relevant to medical illness, but, yes, would apply those principles if there were a drug or alcohol problem. If my family member chooses to “self-medicate,” they have to move out. And yeah maybe become homeless, but I cannot bear seeing someone I love so much harm themself.
My family member currently chooses not to take medication. I have heard anecdotally that Invega Sustena injections help some people.
If family member has benefits or employment or education opportunities, the social worker who is in charge of case management should coordinate this with family member’s goals as guide. Parents or others can be supportive, but need to give only support that is requested. There’s Voc Rehab, Ticket to Work, training through the Department of Labor, all kinds of programs to force people into and then they drop out because it wasn’t their choice or they were not able (I learned this from experience.). Also, it would be really beneficial to get neuropsych testing to see what actual cognitive differences there are and make sure these are addressed and accommodated prior to and during job training or other education.
I wonder what you mean by self-monitor?