Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

A caring Mother seeeking Support with dealing with my Son

Continuing the discussion from We are fighters; we are strong:

my Son was diagnosed with Paranoid Schizophrenia May 2015 and went through Hallucinations and imaging that some people are after him. it has been a struggle to deal with him. He is my only son and I care so much for him. I feel helpless since I am far away from him and he is staying overseas with grandparents and extended Family. it has been a big struggle to convince to take the Medicine when he was in the USA before his Travel.
he does not think he has an issue and refuse to take the medicine for more than one month.
Now, with the help of my Dad and my Sister in the MiddleEast, he is taking Zypraxa ( Olanzapene, 10 MG).
As soon as he resume taking the medicine, he starts to have fears and he think that he would be Safe to stay with extended family better than coming back to the USA to stay with me.
I am a single mother and I live with a Roommate and I wish I can create circle of people for him who would care to deal with. but it is hard since I am working many hours to support both of us ( myself and my son). I do not have time to socialize.
my son attended College for 4 years but only half done with his university degree and he was working few hours a week before he was diagnosed with mental Disorder.

my question is: How long does it take for the fear and hallucination to go away from his mind.
I need a support group but I live in Arkansas and the only User group is about 45 minutes away from me
I will Call NAMI Help line and seek advise.

Any reply to my posting and support from this Forum is appreciated.
I do feel Anxious and depressed at times because I cannot help him as much as I want.

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Hey and welcome. Hope you find the help you need.

About your question, everyone is different. It can take weeks, months or years.

Don’t lose hope, and keep an eye on him about that medication. It’s very important he’ll take it.

You can also show him this forum, maybe he’ll feel confortable in sharing his issues with this community.

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my problem is when my Son comes back to US to live with me, how would I be able to force him to take the medicine or See a Psychiatric if he thinks he is not mentally sick.

I would not rather have to take this route: hire a lawyer and get Guardianship and force him to stay in Hospital for a month. First of all it is costly to hire a private lawyer for Guardianship, second things can go wrong in a Hospital and he may end up in a worse situation that what he is now.
Anyone who sees him does not think he has an issue. he Acts normal with others. Only when you get to know him more then you will realize that he is irrational and make poor decisions and behavioral issues.

Jesus, this is Really hard to see your dear Son fully functional for long time until the age of 23 and then is few months time his life took 365 degree turn. it is a heart breaking !!

I pray daily for God to give guidance.

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Hi Jarca,

I am so sorry to hear about your son. I know how devastating this is my son has schizoaffective disorder. The first thing you must do is take care of yourself. Like they say on the airplane. Put your oxygen mask on first then help others. It may be better for him to stay with extended family. If they are willing and he wants to stay there maybe you should allow him to. If he is in a safe place and can get medical care this may be a good option.

My son is a handful he did very well for a very long time. He worked, had friends, and was functioning fairly well. so there is hope. But you need support for sure. This forum is a good place to start, Mental ilness is difficult to deal with but many people do very well.

One thing about the MH system in the US is that it is almost impossible to get long term quality in patient care unless you have a LOT of money. Even if you can get guardianship that is no guarantee that your son will get the proper care. I am struggling with this right now with my son. He should really be hospitalized until he can get better. But when he goes to the hospital they will keep him for a while and let him out. If I had the option I would investigate.what kind of care is available for your son in your country. It may well be superior to what we have in the US. I feel that our system is broken. It is not serving those suffering with Brain disorders very well. I have been struggling with it for almost 10 years.

Definitely contact Nami. Above all get some support. And realize many people do very well and go on to lead good lives. I will pray that this will be your son.

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Hi Jarca

How is your son? Any updates.

Thanks for checking
I am trying to keep him in my Country but the Problem is that he is not doing anything: no school and no work. it is cheaper for me to keep there since the standard of living is cheaper than US but how long without School or work.

Also, there is Stigma in Lebanon for People with Mental Illness and if others outside the home know about his condition they will not treat him like a normal person and this will impact him physiologically. my Sister does not want to tell other relatives abut his condition because I have a brother who is now 57 years of age and he was diagnosed with Schiz 35 years ago and he has been on Medicine and it is hard to let other relatives know about my Son. My son is now living in the same household as my brother who has Schiz. That means he will not have access to medical care. He can get the medicine here free since he is on Health insurance and in Lebanon it is costing my Dad about $150.00 for 30 pills.

As you see, there is Pro and Con being there or here.

as per your son, what kind of medicine he is taking? I thought after 10 years of treatment someone would get better.

are you saying that your son needs to be hospitalized even though he is taking the meds. but I hear and read horrible stories about events in Hospital.

at what age your son was diagnosed? is he staying with you and working now?

I want to see hope and willing to do anything that will help my son.

Thanks for your prayers and I will pray for your son as well.

Hi Tea42,
I really appreciate your checking on my Situation and please let me know what medicine your son is taking at the present time.
Hope things will better with you.

Hi Jacara,

I hope you are OK.
My son did very well in Serequil xr for about 6 years. He was working and doing many things. He did gain a lot of weight. Right now he is off medication and not doing well at all I hope he will get back on soon. He is in his 30’s so I don’t have much to say abut it at this point.

I also have other family members with schizophrenia (schizoaffective) my nephew and my brother in law both have it. They are both doing ok. My nephew is a little younger than my son. He works and has a family. So some people do better than others.

Two things you can do are; join Nami and take the family to family class right away. It doesn’t matter if your son is not here yet. And get the book The Quiet Room by Lori jo Schiller. It tells her story of recovery and is very helpful. She is a big advocate in my area and has a good life.

take care and feel free to pm me if you want to. Don’t worry things will get better.

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Speaking as someone who has had SZ for over 20 years and who knows many other people with SZ, I’ve never once seen a hospitalization make someone worse. We are usually hospitalized because we have reached the point of crisis and this is needed to stabilize us once more. There may be a lot of fear of being hospitalized on the part of the person with SZ – usually because of their delusional thinking – but this is a positive step towards becoming more functional and rational again.

Good luck with your son.


Thank you. It is a very hard to see my son with this disease and knowing there is no cure.

I agree with the statement as regards short-term hospitalization for the purpose you described. But I have also seen a lot of long-term hospitalization (or “warehousing”) of sz and other psychotic spectrum patients. They do not tend to get “better.” And one has only to observe the environments in many (not all) long-term residential “treatment” (yes and very much no, depending) settings to easily understand why their paranoia, PTSD, anxiety and/or depression get worse.

IF the patient’s family has qualities that make it a good candidate for education on something like Naomi Feil’s “validation” and Kernberg’s “supportive” techniques, the patient is statistically far better off in a such a home environment. BUT… if the family is so riddled with the thought-disordered psychopathology that may well have been the “unbearable weight” that triggered that pt’s predispositions into florid psychosis to begin with, the only alternative is often long-term “warehousing.”

the patient’s family has qualities that make it a good candidate for education on something like Naomi Feil’s “validation” and Kernberg’s “supportive” techniques.
I want to support my son in every way possible but he does not want to listen to me and lately does not want to talk to me. I bought him a Condo last year in Virginia where he attended University and he promised that he will work and help with the monthly payments but never did.
I feel guilty because I did not spend enough time with him in his childhood because I was busy at work providing for him. My mother took care of him until his 11 years of age and he looked up to his GrandMother and consider her like a mother. His GrandMa passed away in 2013 and I am not sure if that had any implications on his sickness!

I want to provide a good life to my son and I want to understand his thought process and why he is behaving like this…But How if he does not allow me to communicate with him and he does not listen to me and keep on cussing at me and bad mouthing me !. when I tell him that I love him on the phone, he would start telling me bad names and cuss at me.

I have tremendous amount o Guilt to how things turns out to be with my son. I should be more positive but I am now feeling anxiety and uncertainty about the future. But, I do trust that God will guide me through this and ease my pain and his pain.

His Schz symptons started showing last December 2014 when he told my dad and my brother & a relative that some people are after him to kill him. I thought he had mouthed someone and they get really upset at him and threatened him. I called him and ask him to come back to Arkansas but he refused.
Later I know he started sleeping in his car on the street like twice a week close to Brother home in Virginia. That indicated that he was afraid and scared . My brother talked to him and asked him to come and sleep over his home but my son does not get along with my brother’s wife and he would argue with her and call her names. Then, my brother kicked him out of the house several times.
At the end, things started getting worse and at the end of May, my Son started driving with from Virginia toward California and had car problems and hid his laptop and his cell phone behind bushes in Kentucky so nobody will track him. He would ask people to use their cell phone to call me from an Airport to ask about money, he told me that if he cannot see me because some people will kill us both. his journey to California was expensive.

At the end my Cousin in Los Angeles took him to Psychiatric Clinic and he was diagnosed with Paranoia/Schz.
Later I met him in Virginia and with my brother help he was hospitalized for 7 days.
He is now in Lebanon and took medicine for a month with my uncle an he is now staying with my dad and my sister and refusing to take medicine. he told them that he does not want to go back to US and he does not like Arkansas.

I am afraid of what will happens when he comes back to stay with me in Arkansas. I know it will be difficult. If he misbehaves and des not take his medicine or follow up with a Psychiatric. The what will I do. get Guardianship and call 911 to take him to Hospital !!

I would rather keep him in Lebanon for another 6 months or one year hoping that he will take his medicine and get better.

Sorry about his long report. but I feel when I let things out, it will help me.

Thanks for reading and any suggestions is helpful!!

I know that this is the hardest things in Life especially not knowing what the future will hold for them. Even if you leave them money, that would not Gurantee that they have a quality life!

There’s no allotted amount of time that it takes for one to get over paranoia or the hallucinations. It’s different for everyone.

My suggestion is to get him on some medicine and try and expirement to find out what works best for you guys. I’m on 4mg of Risperdal and it works well.

He took Risperdal for one month started with 5mg then doctor double it to 10 Mg then to 20Mg
when he was in Virginia.

then he wanted to switch doctor and the new doctor prescribed to him zyprexa (Olanzapine) 10Mg and it seems it is helping him while he is taking it.

the issue is he is Non-Complaint and does not want to take it anymore because of the side effects and claim that he is not sick and does not need it.

this is really the real problem with him: Non-Complaint and not admitting that he has an sickness and needs medicine.

Most people who are paranoid (see below) make poor listeners because they (for whatever physiological and psychological reasons) do not trust others.

I would look into the following, even though the second book is written for those who care for the demented elderly. Because the dynamics of dealing with the demented elderly are often (not always) very similar to those one faces in dealing with paranoid schizohrenics.

That’s uncommon here in Canada. We have it, but to a much lesser degree than in the U.S… I’m guessing. It would take important budget dollars away from global warming boondoggles and safe injection sites. Much better to throw the terminally insane back out on the street.

The short-term hospitalizations are inadequate, but generally don’t make things worse. Those needing long-term care are pretty much screwed.


thanks for the info notmoses,. I started reading : Surviving Schiz , 6th edition…

my son called me today
Please keep him all in your prayers. for the first time after 5 weeks. he called me and cried on the phone and apologized of misbehaving with me but when I ask him to take the meds, started the same pattern again and accused me and accused my brother of taking away his soul. He said that he will not take the meds because it does not allow him to function & work and also has many side effects that he is concerned about.
He is feeling suicidal. I had to talk to him for almost an hour to calm him down and told him how much I love and care about him.

Please keep him in your prayers…

You have my greatest respect. Dealing with a person who has schizophrenia can be exhausting. This disease uses up more resources than any disease I know. Before I became stable on med’s I used to say things to try to scare people away from me who I thought were abusing me. Trying to talk rationally with me would not have worked at all. Do all you can to keep your son on med’s. Once he is med compliant if he is having trouble with one med you might try him on another. Med’s are key.