Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

Can’t Comprehend


#63

Honestly, my answer is “no” it is not wrong.

I do not think it is wrong for any partner to leave another who is making things too difficult on a non-committed relationship (i.e. no marriage). There are many reasons why relationships fail, and sometimes relationships fail for NO good reason at all. Sz is a terrible, life-changing disease, and having been divorced in the past, I do not even think it is wrong for a marriage to break up if the person with sz makes a good marriage impossible. My marriage may break up over alcoholism, which is no where near as debilitating as sz.

If both partners are trying to remedy the wrongnesses in a relationship, it can endure. But only if both are trying.


#64

Hi, This is a very hard topic. My husband is undiagnosed and untreated and getting scarier and scarier. My therapist and HIS therapist told me the only way I could help him was to leave. I am enabling him right now. He doesn’t have any need or desire to get help. I do everything for him. I let him sit all day in his underwear figuring out angel languages and clearing demons with rocks and eating borax. I don’t know what else I can do. But I am open to suggestions.

(Heavy sigh)


#65

Isn’t that a chemical? Could you tell them he is poisoning himself? Get him in the hospital?


#66

Yes, but he swears that he stopped 3 years ago (he was hiding it from me when he was eating it.) When I found out I went through the roof. Now he has stripped the lining of his esophagus and has pre-cancer. But he lies to the doctors. I am going to issue an ultimatum Sunday, either seek immediate help or I leave.

Heavy sigh


#67

What an awful situation. He is harming himself and all you can do is watch. I don’t know if I’d be able to do it long term unless something drastically changes. Watching someone self-destruct has to be the most helpless feeling in the world. Too many hardships with this illness, so many different scenarios

It’s difficult all year long, but I find the holidays especially hard and sad

Hoping for the best possible outcome for you & your husband


#68

Thank you. This is so hard and so lonely. He also wakes me up regularly about 4am by pressing rocks into my shoulder. He says he is clearing me of demonic entities. I am at my wits end.


#69

I’m sorry. It sounds like you are making the right decision. Do you have a place to go?


#70

One of the older Peer to Peer leaders said that the only reason he takes meds for his scz is because if he didn’t, his wife would leave him.

If you ask him if he has schizophrenia, he says he does not, he only takes the meds because his wife makes him.

Here’s hoping your plan works.


#71

Thanks, but it didn’t. He didn’t get violent. But things didn’t go well.


#72

So where are you staying now?


#73

With my sister’s family. My family has been very supportive. He did an evaluation this morning, but “outsmarted it” and told me he is “certified sane” and then sat down and began “clearing” with his stuffed monkey…sigh


#74

I’m glad your family is being supportive. Really hope he comes around and wants you home.


#75

Thanks Hope. I just feel sick about it all, but I can’t keep going the way things were either…


#76

I am so sorry, I am still hoping yours will change his mind, it might take a while. We have tried to persuade a friend to do the same. It takes so much strength, hang in there and try to take care of yourself.


#77

If he is of danger to himself (eating borax), he is qualify to be hospitalized involuntarily. Look up involuntary commitment law for your state. I suggest finding this info on the Treatment Advocacy Center website, You need to know the law and be prepared to call for help.Locate a NAMI Family Support Group to learn more about how to help a loved one get the help they need and to also get support for yourself. There is resource information also at NAMI.org.


#78

It sounds like you have been as supportive of a wife as you could be, but it looks like he is letting the illness win if he thinks he is “certified sane”, and that is so very sad. I hope you feel better about your decision to leave. I agree, things can’t keep going the way they were.

I am convinced now (I wasn’t earlier) that medication compliance is the ONLY way to be able to somewhat happily live with my daughter with sz.

Right now, due to a police arrest, my daughter is medicated and much easier to live with and seems actually happy herself. Medication is court ordered. If the charges are dropped and the criminal court will no longer mandate meds, I will seek a court order from the civil court as she will slide back into almost 24/7 psychosis, most likely, when the shot wears off.

I cannot willingly go back to the way things were either.


#79

Maybe the judge will give her a deferred sentencing and mandate she stays on the meds for a year. That’s what the judge did for my son - it was extremely helpful. He can’t smoke pot any more due to probation. He’s doing pretty good staying with the program. Of course next fall will be another thing. Sigh.


#80

Oh, thank you for the info on deferred sentencing. I will see if that exists in Florida. I tried to get in touch with the District Attorneys’ office, (prosecutors) but they won’t talk to me since I am not “involved” in the case. I did send letters to the DA’s office as well as the public defender’s office and I will see if anyone contacts me.

I hope that by the time the mandate times out for your son he will have gained some insight.