Hi,
Does anyone feel like this, especially when the person with schizophrenia takes everything out on them?
I’ve lost the will to live and am actually thinking of creating a plan to commit suicide because there is no helping her; she’s just getting worse and bringing me and my mother sister down with her.
Where is God?
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You need to address this. Your life should not be sacrificed because of this illness. Do what you need to to get help.
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Its not easy. I know you suffer everyday. Please rethink this and try to find help. Believe me, I have been deep in depression about my daughter’s SZA as well, and the fact that my life has become so very hard since. But, I we cant lie down and let this thing beat us. Get up, kick fight, scream if you must, but dont let it beat you.
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The grief and depression that go along with the anger and frustration of caring for someone with schizophrenia is a terrible burden. No one escapes the scars that reach out in a jagged fashion from the ill loved one through their unknowing mean actions toward their caregivers. All of us here have wondered how we would get through it.
Please find yourself some support and/or medical care, and try to keep hoping for your sake and your mother and sister’s sake too.
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You need to see a therapist right away. The first time I heard that advice I thought “why do we need a therapist?”
We caregivers often need therapists to help us sort out our family situations.
Give therapy a chance.
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I promise you, there ARE ways to learn how to cope with this and there is hope for many of our loved ones to have some degree of recovery. Take care of yourself first! If your own health is in dire straits,?you cannot help your loved one. Please contact a therapist and reach out to the NAMI organization in your state. NAMI.org
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Like others I strongly advise you to seek therapy. I’ve both talked and not talked about this subject within the confines of therapy. My perspective was in my role of the cared for, rather than carer, however.
To my surprise one therapist shared that she had had these thoughts herself and had started to put together a plan, but sought help of a therapist and through that process eventually became a therapist herself. From my experience once you work through this sort of thinking and get past it, you look back on those periods and think, “What was I thinking? What would that have solved, and how would it have made anything better for anyone involved.” There’s a TED talk on this subject that gives statistics about outcomes that’s very sobering, and confirms these conclusions.
P.S. I hadn’t intended to add this part, but thought better of it. The TED talk explains a majority of suicide attempts are unsuccessful and leave the attempted disabled and in pain and adds additional burden to everyone involved. It goes on to say avoiding discussion of this point only adds to the mystique of suicide as a solution, when it just makes everyone’s lives more miserable. Please seek therapy.
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Years ago I attended a suicide education course that was required for my work with teenagers. The course emphasized that we should be sure to emphasize @Maggotbrane’s fact - they said no one thinks about the much more likely ending of being disabled the rest of their life.
The reality behind the mystique is a brain damaged person strapped into a wheelchair fed through a tube.
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Please reach out for help and make a call. There are people who can help you throught these feelings.
National Suicide Prevention Hotline : 1-800-273-8255
Para llamadas en Espanol : 1-888-628-9454
National Crisis Text Line : Text NAMI to 741741
American Foundation for Suicide Prevention afsp.org
Information on warning signs, support, and resources.
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HEllo all. I attended my depression group last night and told them everything. They helped me. I wrote a letter to my sister’s mental health keyworker saying I was going to have to become a patient myself because of what she was putting me through and I told them that I’m coming for them because they haven’t been helping my sister at all. I told them that I’m going to bring an advocate with me to every appointment. I told them that I think they’re a disgrace that they’re not doing their job properly and my sister is just gettgni worse.
So thank you for all your replies. I will go down kicking and screaming and I dont care if they think i’m mad. Schizophrenia IS a beatable illness if the supposed experts were to do their work and have more knowledge about what really causes this “illness”.
I’m not suicidal anymore - I’M ON THE WARPATH and I’m not going to let my sister get me down anymore and I’m going to MAKE the socalled experts do their job and earn their money by helping her properly.
Her keyworker was encouraging her to get up and go and live in another country because he couldn’t be bothered dealing with her himself.
Thank you all for your replies and reaching out. xx
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You go, warrior !
Keep talking and taking care of yourself
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Don’t let this disease claim another life!
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Hang in there and NEVER give up !
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I personally know four people who attempted suicide. Two people who failed… One went to therapy after, and she is doing well now. One was brain damaged and became criminally inclined as a result and died in jail. One left behind grieving family members who were blinded by grief for many years after she died, horribly scarred in their lives. My own grandfather committed suicide when I was 14. I became a juvenile delinquent, drug user and was very angry at the world for the next 8 years. Religious counseling rescued me.
Perhaps that past of mine helped me to never give up when many future horrible things happened, including 3 years of my eldest daughter’s psychosis.
You are a survivor and a warrior @hermana80 . Keep strong and keep fighting.
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I had a friend from high school who attempted suicide successfully while on an overnight pass from a mental hospital. It could have easily gone the other way.
I learned of his suicide a day before I returned to college facing an uncertain housing situation I was hiding from my family, and processed his death and tried to attend classes while effectively homeless. After I returned home after developing what became diagnosed with SZA years later, I looked up his obituary on microfiche, printed out a copy and kept it folded up in my wallet. I showed it to people during my stay in a mental hospital and told them this was no joke. He was 19.
Here’s the TEDx talk I mentioned:
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Attending NAMI in different cities across the country really helped me. It was a crash course on what I knew nothing about. The book, I Don’t need help and leap suggestions are my go to when I am at my low. To make matters worse I have several family members who I am a caregiver for and the load is tremendous to carry on my shoulders.
I try to not let myself get tired because anyone can handle more if they are not tired. Yes, thus means I give up simple things that I should participate in but I ask God to help me make wise decisions on what is more important and help me give my life for others…
I pray one day I will have a greater reward than what I wanted to do at the time…learn to let go just a little, prioritize and never give up…
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Thanks for all your words of advice, warnings and encouragement. I appreciate you all taking the time out of your day to reply to me. You all deserve a reward from God for helping me. A psychiatrist on £70,000 a year hasn’t helped me as much as the people on this forum have.
My sister has now decided to travel to another country to do a degree course. She’s selling all her stuff. I give up now on what the right path is for her. Perhaps it’s God telling me to let go of her. It’s just hard because I worry so much about her and will actually miss her. I can’t work out whether it’s this illness that’s making her so disruptive all the time or whether it will actually help her recovery getting away from where we currently live as she admittedly doesn’t have a life here at the moment. I have decided to mentally let go, do my duty as an older sister and look out for her where I can, but I can’t stop a grown adult deciding on where she wants to spend her life, even if her decision is totally wrong in my eyes. God works in mysterious ways and perhaps this is another mysterious way in which He is working. Sometimes I just wish He would tell me if I and her are on the right path or not, but I guess He doesn’t roll like that and that is what the meaning of “having faith” is. Trusting in Him while you walk in a dense darkness that is dotted with broken glass and failed dreams, dragging yourself along and other people with you.
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Ive been where you are with those ideas. Its a relief to know the group support has helped. I’m sure it wasn’t easy to share these thoughts and feelings. Sharing those thoughts by reaching out says you have the courage grit and will to get through this.
I can only echo others comments about the need and effectiveness of therapy to get through this. It does work there is hope, you are entitled to peace and tranquility despite your loved ones condition.
YOU can only do so much. If she falters with her current plan she may end up hospitalized which, as traumatic as it may sound if you haven’t already been through the process is likely the best thing for her right now. I usually don’t put much stock in quotes but this one has helped me at times, usually attributed to Winston Churchill it reads “If you’re going through Hell Keep going”
For me getting to the realization that dealing with someone who is experiencing a psychotic episode is basically an impossible situation and almost always culminates in a forced hospitalization or police intervention was a vital moment.
Advocating for my loved one by going to the magistrate to fill out the paperwork for an involuntary commitment was heartbreaking. Looking back I clearly see it was the best thing to do for my loved ones safety, my well being and to make sure when or if law enforcement gets involved they are aware of the condition of the person that will be dealing with.
Hang in there I know how much this can hurt you can get through this.
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Hi,
Yes, I sometimes have thoughts of suicide, but only thoughts. At times I feel that my quality of life is not good. It is important to have time for yourself. I exercise and practice yoga. Both help improve my mood. My son spends a lot of time with me, but lives in a group home. I think that this helps the two of us maintain a healthier relationship.
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