Caregivers having trouble with friendships


#41

Lately my thoughts on decorating are whether to cover up the poor battered stainless refrigerator doors with posters or get a hammer and add more pings for a “distressed” look.


#42

lol, might start a new trend, distressed stainless steel! I have an oven with the side kicked in, we could put together a whole kitchen.


#43

:rofl:

All we need is a dishwasher


#44

Give us time… lol…


#45

Oh, I could throw in a dishwasher. The outside looks fine, but the whole thing is separated on the inside from too much slamming of the drawers in and out. So it tips crazily. And the microwave gets exploding food in it so often, I’ve stopped cleaning out the burned on insides any more than I have to…

Wonder what our normie acquaintances would say about our kitchen… hehehehe


#46

I truly understand and feel the same way. I made the mistake of talking openly at work about the police being at our home for my daughter. It stopped the entire conversation in the break room. Later, one man looked at me and said, “Everytime I think I have a problem at home, I think of you and your household and I stop thinking I have any problems at all…” He has continued to ask kindly about me and my daughter, while everyone else has never mentioned it again to me.


#47

I have 2 door jambs with no latches and a “distressed” bookcase to add to the decor.


#48

Best way to clear a room is to talk about our experiences at home!

Nice that the one person listened and cares and has the guts to follow up with you about it. I’d keep that friend.


#49

I find all my coworkers seem uncomfortable to ever ask how my son is doing, I have stopped asking about their children, tho they continue to tell me about all the great accomplishments their children my son s age are doing, in great detail. I just smile and tune them out.


#50

Not a single person responded to my 2017 Christmas letter that spoke openly about my son’s illness.

I don’t send out a lot of cards, just to elderly family members and people who we were close to when we lived in other places when my sons were little boys. The same people send me letters each year updating us as their children have grown and had had children.

Not a phone call, nothing. Its not like I made it sound super sad. I wrote about how proud we were of our son taking a hiking trip all on his own each year despite his disability.

Maybe it was all too weird to them.


#51

I forgot - I have a ceiling fan with the blades all bent partway down that I can contribute. Now we are getting somewhere.


#52

I have found the quickest way to put a halt to a conversation is to say something like "Oh yeah, my son s voices were telling him to do bad things yesterday, but fortunately he didn’t .


#53

I’m lucky to have the opposite reaction from most of my co-workers. They show interest in my son, have included him in some outings, and one has really taken him into his life in some ways - responding to some texts, talking with him on the phone, and invited him over for Thanksgiving. Awesome people.


#54

I have a broken coffee table, a dining room set missing a chair (broken), and a ripped off the wall thermostat to contribute. Give me a few and I’m sure there’s more. Lol


#55

For the first time ever, I am thinking, oh why did I throw out that broken tv, the smashed phones, the broken apart picture frames?


#56

I know I see the world differently with a dad who has SZ. In my profession, I can’t help but be the nurse who focuses on the mind in connection to the body and spirit. Therefore, I cannot accept medical nursing the way it is. I would be burnt to a crisp knowing that I am not taking are of the psychological aspect of my patients along with their disease process. People suffer, and often it is a silent suffering because our medical professionals barely have the time, energy, and resources to aid the body, let alone the mind. Therefore, I called to be a psychiatric nurse because empathy is the essential tool in caring for emotionally ill clients.

But psych nursing is looked as obscure field. “abnormal” nursing. Many typical nurses and non-nurses don’t empathize with psych, and some people judge the field harshly when looking at it from a telescopic view.

My friends who come from typical families and backgrounds say, “i’m sorry” or “that’s horrible”. Sometimes I wish I could hear, “oh yeah, my dad has SZ too and he totally does that” or “what have you learned through your experiences?”
->I feel like people tend to focus on the negative side of mental illness. I know this sounds weird, but I would not be as strong or emotionally developed at 22yrs without having a parent with SZ. My dad pushed me to figure my life out. I had to make money, I had to go to school. There was no other option other than success, because failure would mean homelessness and/or living pay check to paycheck. I am grateful for my dad who pushed to the brink of disaster. I had to learn how to fight my dragons AND come out with my gold/prince. (no hand holding needed) I choose take away amazing gifts from my childhood expereinces with SZ that many people don’t have the luxary to receive.


#57

So… in conclusion. Who care what anyone else does or thinks. Find relationships and friendships that are meaningful and lasting regardless of SZ


#58

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

The world we live in:grinning:


#59

I can relate. My son has schizoaffective disorder for 17 years now. Currently hospitalized so everyone going through tougher times now but at least he is safe.


#60

This person was not really your friend at all.