I abused substances as many schizophrenics do; I got addicted to crack in 1986, in my late 20’s. I smoked it for four years, going bad places I didn’t belong, hanging out with bad people and doing things I shouldn’t have. I sold almost all my possessions to buy drugs including the clothes off of back at times and I got robbed and cheated and was the victim of occasional violence. In the four years I used I spent thousands of dollars on drugs. I smoked crack in abandoned buildings, strangers houses, under bridges and in crack houses. One time I was caught smoking crack by the police and handcuffed and put in the back of a police car but luckily, I never went to jail and was let go. I lost 25 pounds without noticing it because I went periods where I hardly ate. I lost housing and jobs due to my addiction and worst of all, I lost the trust of my family.
Then in 1990 I was having a bad relapse even though I was taking my medication as prescribed and I was hospitalized 4 times for a few days each time. I got out and I was living with my dad and I wasn’t working and smoking a lot of crack and he didn’t know how to handle me or didn’t know what to do with me so at the advice of my doctor he put me in a temporary transitional crisis group home.
It was a group home for people who had just gotten out of the hospital and were looking for housing. While I was there I was drinking but not smoking crack. One night I was upstairs in my bedroom and I wandered downstairs and discovered an AA meeting was being held in the dining room, with about 7 people. They were really friendly and invited me to stay so I sat in. I had been in and out of AA a little already but the people were so friendly at this meeting and tried to help me and I got serious about my recovery.
I went to one meeting and then the next day I was walking down the street with a friend from the group home and we ran into a former client who invited us to go to the 7-11 around the corner and get some beer. We said sure and we went and bought the beer and we were in this parking lot sitting behind a car drinking. I had a beer in my hand and then something struck me and I said aloud, “This is the last drink I will ever have”. And it was. It was New Years Day, 1990 and I haven’t taken a drink or touched drugs since then.
I started going to meetings regularly and stayed sober and soon found other nearby meetings and attended regularly. The meetings were interesting with many interesting people and their stories were entertaining. After a month at the group home I got a job and then I moved into another group home. I still went to meetings and found other ones and was soon going to 5 or 6 meetings week. I was going to my job and also enrolled in college which I couldn’t have done when I was doing drugs.
I got really involved with AA and found some CA (cocaine anonymous) and NA meetings. I spoke at the meetings, I would get up in front of 7, 10, or 20 people and tell my story and talk about recovery. It took me three years in the program to get a sponsor but I finally found a good one and he took me through the 12 steps. I admitted I was powerless over drugs and took a fearless moral inventory and made amends to all the people I had harmed or wronged and if I was ever wrong about something I promptly admitted it. I did all 12 steps and tried to live by the 12 principles and be rigorously honest in all my affairs.
I would come early to meetings and set up chairs and put out literature. I chaired several meetings and as per my sponsors suggestion I never passed up an opportunity to speak at meeting. Soon I was familiar with all the regulars and walked up to people I didn’t know and stuck out my hand and introduced myself. I represented groups at the monthly business meetings of CA and went to AA, CA and NA functions like dances and picnics and barbecues.
I was working and going to school two days a week and I made a friend at the group home and we hung out and went places and did all kinds of fun stuff. Incidentally, he was schizophrenic too and a funny, really nice guy. I was visiting with my family on weekends and doing fun stuff with them and their friends. I ended up staying at the group home for five years and that entire time was only unemployed for a month.
After 5 years my sisters roommate at her duplex moved out and my sister offered me the room. I took it; this was 1996 and she charged me $300 a month rent. Now, renting a room in someone’s house is usually $750-$950 and more. I moved in my sisters house and I was just like any other roommate, I paid rent and utilities, I did chores and picked up after myself and shopped and cooked for myself. I found other AA and CA meetings in the area. This takes me up to 1997.
I lived independently for 20 years after that and eventually got my college degree. I don’t go to AA meetings anymore but I have no desire to use. Yeah, AA is a good deal, it’s free and proven to work. AA says about those with grave emotional or mental problems: “They too can get sober as long as they have the capacity to be honest.” I know a lot of your loved ones with schizophrenia abuse substances and I just wanted to show it’s possible for someone with schizophrenia to come off drugs and recover. Especially with something as addictive as crack.