Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

Confused and frustrated

Hi there, my older sister of 30 years old has recently been diagnosed with schizophrenia. I recently turned 21 years old, both of us live with my parents. My sister and I have always been very close, I consider her to be my best friend, unfortunately since December 2019 she has been acting different and started to gain an attitude toward me and my family. On February-May she was having some sort of delusions and psychosis, I could see it in her eyes she looked scared and paranoid and was doing the strangest things. Her delusions consist of thinking that we aren’t her real family and that we are other people in the bodies of her family. She was admitted to a mental hospital on May and was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia and has been drinking 3 medications: Abilify, Klonopin and Trileptal. I wake up early every morning to give her medications and I also make sure to give it to her before bedtime. I suffer from anxiety and I always feel that something bad is going to happen, I feel frustrated because I feel that I can’t ever be happy with my life and I feel so alone. I have always had this close bond with my sister and now I don’t because she stares at me strangely or she gives me an attitude. I feel scared she might attack my family and I again as she did before she was admitted to the mental hospital and I feel that I always have to stay home taking care of her and seeing her every move. I know my parents are home with her but I can’t help but feel that I need to put aside my things and focus on her. I schedule all of her appointments as well and check on her every night to see if she’s okay which makes me lose sleep because I do it constantly only because I’m anxious something bad will happen. I also feel bad if I go out with my boyfriend or my friends even if that’s only once a week because she’s home. All I do is pray that she will get better and hopefully will recover. There are days where she is better than others but her delusions are still present. She doesn’t talk about them, she acts “normal” with me and my family but she has a journal where she writes all of these delusional thoughts. If someone can please help me cope with something so relatively new as this I would gladly appreciate it. I honestly don’t know how to feel, sometimes I feel so frustrated because my life revolves around her always now and I don’t have much time for myself and don’t have much time with my parents because they are always thinking about her and how to please her in every way. I understand her condition and I try my best not to get bothered, but it’s tough. I know that this is all very recent but I’m worried about my future and I wonder if it will always be like this. I can’t even act like myself sometimes or have a moody face when I have a migraine because my parents will automatically correct me and tell me to put on a good face and be extremely nice to my sister even though she can be mean to me. I consider myself to be very thoughtful and helpful to my sister because I love her very much and I know she’s not acting like herself, but I feel that my parents aren’t considerate of my feeling anymore and want me to brush my feelings to the side and act a certain way because of my sister and her thoughts or feelings. Also talking to her is very difficult now because she acts like she knows it all and she’s very stubborn… I still try my best to talk to her though but sometimes I feel like I can’t and my parents are constantly forcing me.

@Valerieleiva I’m so sorry for what you are going through. is your sister in weekly therapy or a support group? If not, please help her get into therapy and support groups because that will help her delusions. I joined NAMI and it was a lifesaver. They meet virtually now because of the pandemic but I found support and friends there. NAMI always take about self care because that is important too! Also, you need your sleep. If your sister doesn’t sleep well maybe the doctor can prescribe her something to help her sleep at night? I wish you the best! You are one of the lucky ones whose family member is med compliant. I hope things improve.

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Thank you! I will try to have her do group therapy sessions. There are days where she is a lot better than others but yes at least she is med compliant. Thanks again

you seem to be a nice caring person…keep it up!

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