Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

Dating: Communication and Being Ignored

I have been dating my boyfriend for almost 3 years, we had a relatively stable time in the fall of seeing each other once or twice a week. He has schizophrenia. Communication has been really challenging with him. I have found lately that he has gotten mad at me about small things and ignoring me for about a week or two. He also has trouble with telephone and text communication.I don’t mind phoning, but if he is mad at me he won’t answer the phone. I tend to call and call. I wish I knew how to better communicate with him when we do get the chance to talk. He won’t open up about his schizophrenia, how it affects him, or his feelings. When we are apart I feel a giant wedge between us because I don’t understand what is going through his mind. It kind of tears us apart.

I don’t know what exact advice I am seeking, but I don’t really know what communication deficits are normal with schizophrenia and how couples deal with them. Or even what to do when he ignores me. I always tell myself, just give him a few days, but I end up calling each day.

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Communication about anything can be a challenge if someone has sz, but communicating about the illness itself has been impossible for my daughter (ill 3 years). She isn’t ill (per her). Most people with sz don’t admit they have it, and can’t see their own odd behavior even after episodes, arrests, hospitalizations, diagnosis. It is called anosognosia. Have you read, “I’m not Sick, I don’t Need Help”. The communication method in there is workable. I use it quite often.

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I finally found a copy of this book at the public library… gonna start reading it.

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I had to read the book and then go back and read parts of it again in order to try to apply it. I started with small conversations about relatively simple things I thought could be changed.