Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

Dating when you have a child with sk


#1

I am recently divorced. I have two teenage daughters. My 18 yr old has schizophrenia. She is doing well compared to some cases that I’ve been reading about here. She takes her meds everyday but we are still trying to find the right “cocktail”. Anyway, I’ve dated off and on but never got serious with anyone. None of the men I’ve dated have met my kids. Is it wise to tell someone on a first date that you have a daughter with a mental illness or should I wait until the relationship progresses in a more serious direction. I am so afraid of scaring everyone away because they won’t understand or accept it.


#2

I think entering a relationship with that expectation that it’s going to last forever is sort of out dated.

There should be a casual realistic phase that it is probably going to end at some point unless it really is right. Under that approach the details of your life aren’t as important. You don’t have to sell the whole package. You just have to show them who YOU are. If they like it then they’ll probably be more inclined to be accepting of the whole package. Everyone has some BS in their lives somewhere.

As far as disclosing your daughter’s condition. I think you should leave it in her hands to tell people when she feels comfortable with it, after that you can be supportive and humanizer in these peoples minds. Mental illness should be private. It’s hard enough to deal with on its own, let alone the social factors of dealing with uninformed perspectives.

So yeah, I don’t think it matters. It’s not like you are the one with SZ. That’s a whole different scenario right there.


#3

I have a son with down syndrome and I wait until my boyfriend is over at my place to see how he reacts. I’ve had some who yell at him ignore him or be too casual to tell.

My current boyfriend interacts and responds with him. He is great.
Your daughter won’t want you talking about her I’m sure so maybe just keep it silent until the time calls for that.


#4

I would wait until you thought it was moving in a serious direction. Don’t wait too long if you see something getting serious. Everyone handles situations different. You have to be with someone who is not selfish. There has to be give and take on both sides when it comes to being a caregiver. At the time that my stepson had his break my wife and I already knew we wanted to be together. We got married about 4 months after my stepson was diagnosed. My advice is get a good network of support so you can bring someone on board if they love you and they will accept the illness. Education and understanding is crucial (in my opinion).


#5

I agree. Wait and see how things progress first.
Good luck!