Just spent a few hours with my son and ended up having a deep conversation that lasted 3 hours. He came over for dinner, but wanted to go driving shortly after. He drove and did most of the talking, while I listened. So many details of his illness were revealed to me that I had not previously known. He spoke so clearly with details of how/when he thought it all started. It was as if he was talking about something he witnessed happening to someone else and not about himself. I’m so grateful that he has insight, and a deep level of understanding of what happened to him, but most importantly him realizing he is ill. It was 5 years ago when it all started, but it’s still very fresh for me. Horrible, scary time.
He seems to talk the most when he is driving. He has not talked this much in awhile.
I mentioned to him I could always tell when he was in mid psychosis because he never answers my texts or calls, and that it scared me every time. He said “mom, if I don’t answer you back right away, I may be in shower or doing something, but I usually answer you in an hour. You have to worry if I don’t answer you back within 24 hours”. This made me realize how in touch he really was with his condition.
There are so many things that can be a lot better, but for now, I’m just grateful he seems to be so acutely aware.
A detail here most caregivers might not be aware of. When you think you might be under surveillance, talking while driving in a car seems the most private environment possible. Especially when the trip is impromptu and in a car you don’t normally drive/ride in. There’s little to no chance of being overheard or interrupted, you have a captive audience and background noise to drown out distractions. It’s an ideal environment to have such conversations.
@Maggotbrane, so very true. He is more on guard when other family member are around in my home. We have always talked best when it was just the 2 of us in the car. A car ride can put a baby immediately to sleep, and it sure makes my son talk. I feel so happy after these conversations with him, because I know he is letting it all out.
Wow! It’s nice to have a conversation with you’re family member that has this problem. Especially when they know what they are actually going through. My 25 yr old son will ask me why the voices in his head are doing this to him. It’s so hard to hope he will someday understand the voices are just that. Voices. I love my son more than anything but it’s hard watching him go through this.
@gijane my son is also 25, it is absolutely the scariest, the most heartbreaking thing I have ever gone / going thru. My son described it as being “controlled” by these thoughts and he said he felt like “they” could see what he saw and thought. I can’t imagine…
Very heartwarming story. So happy your son is making wonderful progress. There aren’t very many happy stories like that here in this forum. My husband has Schiznophrenia. He had it before we even married 28 years ago. I’m married to an exceptional man. He always want to take his medication and always does his reality check. Over the 28 years, we raised 2 children, they are now out of state, independent and productive citizens He is now retired but he was able to maintain a hospital security guard position for years. Today, he takes care of me, our home and our dog because I still work (not retired yet). I’m just sharing his story because, just to be let aware that there are some happy endings. I am praying for you and your son.
@army28thmed, that is such a wonderful story, so happy for your husband, and you and your dog lol.
We are far from out of the woods, and I take it one day @ a time, sometimes a few hours @ a time. I keep reading that things will stabilize, and the likelihood of frequent episodes will subside as they get older, and I pray every single day that that is really true. I seem to hear stories of frequent, intermittent episodes happening more to the younger population (20’s), and he is 25. Maybe when he is in his 30’s, I will be able to finally breathe again, I don’t know.
I wish continued peacefulness for you & your husband, and thank you so much for thinking of us.
He is now retired but he was able to maintain a hospital security guard position for years. Today, he takes care of me, our home and our dog because I still work (not retired yet). I’m just sharing his story because, just to be let aware that there are some happy endings. I am praying for you and your son.