My son has developed some new and disturbing symptoms over the past week. He paces non-stop and is telling us that he is having horrible, disgusting intrusive thoughts that won’t go away. He isn’t sleeping or eating at all, covers all the mirrors so he won’t have to look at himself and is just so distraught. Through everything, his dog has been his best friend and the one thing he didn’t hate or strike out at. But, the last week, he won’t let his dog near him and this is puzzling me as to what is happening. I know that there are things he has done during his psychosis episodes that are totally opposite of the person he grew up being and i’m sure that he has done some that we don’t know about and these are distressing to him to remember. I just want to help him but he is not agreeable to anything we suggest and he won’t go see his psych doc. Just when I think things can’t get worse, they do.
I’m so sorry to hear about this change in symptoms. Is your son on any meds at all? It sounds as if his symptoms are worsening, either because the illness is progressing or due to additional stress, or… who knows. But it does happen, and it is so painful to stand by and feel helpless.
I hope you are able to get him to the doctor or get help in some other way without requiring forced hospitalization.
Primary diagnosis/illness aside, It has been known for some time among healthy people that lack of sleep alone or poor diet/metabolic chaos alone can bring on symptoms similar to mental illness. Those behaviors in the mentally ill only contribute and exacerbate already existing condition/symptoms.
Sorry for your current situation. We decided a long time ago that if we couldn’t get guardianship of our adult daughter and mandate medication… she would not be allowed in our home. I bought her a heaving parka and waterproof boots (it was winter at the time) in the event she became homeless. Ultimately if your child is allowed to wreak havoc on everyone it ends up not only destroying their lives but the lives of others too. We played very hard ball relentlessly via law enforcement and the court system and prevailed. It’s been 2 years and everything is going well. She is employed w/benefits…but we still worry how long this last.
Thanks for your reply. He is not taking any medications and he will not go to his psych doctor either. I don’t want to force hospitalization because the facilities here are pitiful and he has never improved from being there. It is basically a holding cell until the crisis passes and we start right back over again. It feels hopeless.
We have considered many times giving him this ultimatum of treatment or not living here. He just seems so helpless now and we are very afraid of what harm will come to him out on the streets. We spoke with a lawyer about guardianship and he quoted us about $30,000 total to get it. This is just not an option for us right now. The mental health system is so broken. None of the decent inpatient treatment programs are involuntary meaning they wouldn’t keep him because he definitely wouldn’t agree to stay. I am feeling so defeated by all this. I am happy to hear the good stories like yours and see that some people do function and live life with this disease. Thank you for sharing with me.
Our guardianship was less than $10,000. I’ve never added it up but probably was less than $7,000. We had our daughter arrested on a minor theft to get a handle on the situation and hired an attorney to represent her and work something out with her. The judge was firm but terrific and so was the prosecutor. $30,000 is outrageous. That’s what a multi-year estate fight might cost or a injury related legal action. Check around. We documented physical condition of self, property, her car…etc. All can be used to show that are a danger to themselves and others…if untreated. I did have to stop going to the NAMI meetings because only one other person was having some success but not as much as we were (lots of complaining but not many actually taking some kind of action). We also took a very aggressive approach. If we followed the thoughts of people like Dr. Xavier Amador we would still be having a conversation trying to get our daughter to seek help.
are you Sure that the Guardianship is about $30,000 total. my first Payment was $2000 to get a emergency Guardianship for 3 months and then I paid extra $700 for lawyer fees to get the final guardianship.
I would check again with another Family lawyer?
Did you read the Book “I Don’t Need Help by Dr Xaviar Amador.” LEAP method.
in my case LEAP Treatment did not help me. I had to force my Son several times into Treatment. he is now in Locked facility in California and doing little better but still working on regulating his medicine.
do not loose hope. you have to choose either force him on Medicine and that would lead to better outcome
or just let him life like the way he is ( unmedicated) and that may lead to beinf a danger to himself or another.
try to help him to get disability check through disability lawyer to help with expenses. but to get the disability check, he needs to see a psych doc to give a statement about his illness to Social security.
Does he listen to anyone from your relatives or friends or
may you can you find something to motivate him. tell him I will do that for you if you accept to go to doctor and accept treatment?
I would not do the ultimatum of treatment of not living in your house. he can be harmed on streets or ended up in Jail.
Keep you in my prayers this Holiday Season
Try the LEAP method or find something to motivate him to do the treatment.
in my case, my son likes to smoke and that helped in the past to keep him on medicine for few weeks while he is in my home but they was for short period of time.
Praying for you to find a way to help him.
Thank you for your thoughtfulness. That is the cost the lawyer quoted us. We need to try someone else but it is so hard to break away to do things when he has to be monitored 24/7. Our only decent facilities are voluntary, unlocked and he refuses. The two crisis facilities here are absolutely worthless except for providing a holding cell. The state hospital here has horrible conditions as I work with some of the nurses who have worked there and they have warned me about it. I just want him to be in a caring environment that is working to help him. He says he can’t be helped, that he is sentenced to hell and the only way to escape is to die.
I have read the book but it is not helping with him. He wants nothing but cigarettes, nothing else motivates him. If we don’t buy those for him, he has a complete violent meltdown. It seems no matter what we try, it doesn’t work. We are sleep deprived, stressed, and no reprieve is in sight.
Given your reply, my next question is, are these new symptoms causing a disruption or danger for your family and/or your son?
While these symptoms sound very distressing for him, is he still able to keep his behavior under control.
Not sleeping and not eating are certainly signs that the illness is causing him some harm, and while seeking treatment might not be ideal, if the mental illness is not addressed, he may not be able to perform self care - such as eating - and that will cause him harm.
Seek out what other avenues of treatment might be available for him - perhaps a day treatment program?
Regarding guardianship, I spent $0 to get guardianship, by going thru the county mental health system. If I had not been able to insist on treatment when my son would not seek it, who knows what would have happened to him.
Yes, Dr. Xavier Amador thoughts would never worked in my case.
I have been easy with my son on several occasions. After he is discharged from Hospitals in the past, he would tell me that all of those AP meds will harm me and can cause liver, heart, breast Enlargement, etc…I would give up trying to convince him and keep him without medicine.
After his disappearance last December 2017, I experienced high Anxiety trying to find him desperately, I say to myself that I would never submit any longer to his demands or be easy with him. He is now in locked Facility in CA and hoping he will get more stable on his medicine…
Involuntarily Commitment is the only choice in some cases with Family members who has very poor insight of their Illness…