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I dont know how to help my son. Help please!


#1

My son suffers from hallucinations, paranoia, delusions. This is quite new for him. He’s 17. He believes I’m doing things to him, like, for example, putting drugs in the food. He’s now sitting in the juvenile detention center because he destroyed my apartment because he believes I’m doing these things to him. He’s refusing medication because he truly believes these things are happening to him because I’m doing something to him. I believed by him being away from me, he would still experience the same things and see it isn’t me. How can I get threw to him? I’m lost. Does anyone have any suggestions or advice? It’s greatly appreciated


#2

Hi Steph. I’m so sorry you and your son are going through this. My daughter was diagnosed with schizophrenia over two years ago, but something was wrong long before that. There have been multiple med changes, but it took awhile for her to become more and more stabilized. I have had to learn to be more patient with her doctors and med changes because each one of them have side effects. She has gone from full blown delusions and paranoia to minor ones. She still hears a constant static and every once awhile hears voices, but it is improving. I would encourage you to hang tight until the proper meds are found for your son. My daughter also did wrong things due to her mental illness and wound up in jail, but that was quite awhile back. I think there is every chance your son’s symptoms will improve. This is a great site for you to become part of. The people here have helped me so much during my lowest times. Much love and prayers for you and you son.


#3

I agree with @dkgreg in that there is every chance your son’s symptoms will improve if you can get him on the proper medicine and keep him taking them before he turns 18 and can refuse for the rest of his life. My daughter was helped 100% (no delusions/hallucinations) by one medicine combination (her 4th hospitalization), but she does not believe she is ill and won’t stay on meds (she is in her 30’s and the schizophrenia started in her late 20’s.) It is important to start down the road to finding the right meds without hesitating as once he is 18, your ability to help him changes dramatically. Contact NAMI to find a support group near you, and do the family-to-family class. Read up on anosognosia to understand why your son doesn’t think he is ill. Don’t argue with his delusions/hallucinations as you can’t change his beliefs that they are real. Try to be kind (it is hard sometimes). Keep coming to this site. And take care of yourself, be kind to yourself, it isn’t your fault, don’t feel guilt.


#4

I have a diagnosis of bipolar disorder as well. I’ve been threw the paranoia. Thought people were following me, tormenting me. I remember everyone telling me nothing was going on. It was really hard to believe but there was a part of me that thought, what if it’s not real. Wow. I hoped they were right. I try to assure my son, he is so loved and I would never intentionally hurt him. Sometimes I think I’m getting threw to him. It just sucks that his delusions and paranoia are towards me. The person trying to protect him. It’s a tough battle.


#5

Can you get him on court ordered meds? I just got my son on those and it’s a world of difference. Not that that can’t change but at least he’s not hallucinating anymore. Still delusional however but we’re only at week 3. If you do go for the shot. Invega can be a monthly shot. Feeling for you as are many others here.


#6

I was on invega. Had a terrible experience. I’ve been off it since November 2017. Still dealing with side effects, waiting for it to get out of my system… Judge ordered a fitness test to be done.


#7

What is a fitness test? I believe risperdal is a 2 week shot.


#8

It’s to see if he’s mentally stable to go to trial and fully understand what he’s done etc.


#9

I just had this done for my son today. Our was called a competency test. Where are you located out of curiosity. (This was very, very stressful on our end as we weren’t sure he would go and weren’t sure he would sign that the judge could read it). We had it done privately which will probably cost me around $1000. In our case the in prison competency tests are done 5 hours from where we live. I’m surprised they put you on invega for bi-polar. Glad it’s getting out of your system.


#10

Unfortunately it was my idea to take the shot. :confused: I asked and he agreed.
I’m from Danville, IL, USA.
The doctor is gonna go to the juvenile detention center to do the test. They were going to do a mental health exam but went with the fitness test. I jjust want him to get help and feel better. I know that dealing with the symptoms can b rough and hard to see things can get better. You can feel better if u take the meds. I just wish he knew how much he was loved. His world life sucks bad right now. My heart brakes for him. I remind him, it will get better.


#11

Was it you who took the shot or your son? I am confused. How’s your son doing today?


#12

I took the shot… My son is in the juvenile detention center (kid jail) but he seems to b doing OK under the circumstances. The Dr is suppose to go see him on the 19th. He isn’t on anything right now.


#13

I wonder if you could talk them into talking him to the hospital. Then he’d get some meds/help. Where my son was in the hospital (locked) they said they get a lot of people from the jail. Just a thought.


#14

They won’t do that. They tried to refuse to let the crisses workers come and evaluate him. His lawyer stepped in and the crisses workers went there and seen him. The worker didn’t think Christopher was a threat to him self or anyone being at the detention center so they didn’t take him. Psychiatrist will be going to the detention center on the 14th of this month and his next court hearing is the 19th.


#15

@Steph Fortunately that is not to far off! Here in CO it can take years. Maybe it’s faster for under 18. I’ll be thinking of you and hope it turns out better than you think!


#16

My son started around age 17 also. You need to somehow get your son help before he turns 18, because then the law is on his side. If he threatens you or threatens to harm himself, call 911. I got my son to the ER because he couldn’t stay in our house" it was evil" . I said the hospital is safe, lets go there. Thank God he agreed. He is 27 now, it’s been a hell of a ride. Horrible , horrible, disease.


#17

I don’t see how they can say he’s not a threat to himself or others after what he did to your apartment. The crisis worker did not serve you well. The psychiatrist needs all of the background information. Try to be sure he/she gets it. You are now at a critical juncture, and I hope you can help your son.
He needs the hospital and medical help to recover, in my opinion.


#18

I agree. There’s a doctor that’s going to see him on June 14. My sons public defender set it up. I’m hoping the doctor will make contact with me.
When the crises worker got there, my son played her. Knew what to say and what not to say. He also told the crises worker he refuses to take medication. On a good note, he seems to b doing good in there. His voice even sounds better but it kind of confused me. Did the hallucinations just stop? I don’t think it works like that… My son isn’t very open with me about his experiences because he believes I’m causing them by putting drugs in his food and doing bizarre things like (prepare yourself) rubbing my private part on door knobs. That one REALLY threw me for a loop and to b honest it is the most disturbing thing to me as far as his hallucinations at this point… He’s heard a group of people outside his window, talking about hurting him. Seen eyes on his ceiling that are watching him, TV talking or sounds coming from it when it’s off, flying cars, invisible people, aliens, the list go’s on but like I said, he’s only told me a small amount because he says I will use the information against him.


#19

So glad a psychiatrist will be seeing him. However, please make concise notes of his delusions and make sure the lawyer conveys them to the doctor, in case you are not included.
My son had periods of normalcy in between the crazy behavior. The delusions you describe are very typical of schizophrenia.
Hang in there, advocate for him, and keep us posted. I’ll be thinking of you. :slightly_smiling_face:


#20

Yes, yes, yes. It is so important to get a child help before they turn 18 and you no longer have any power over their choices.