So sorry to hear that your ex and sister-in law use their distorted views of religion to mistakenly explain and blame your daughter and her siblings for their mental illness. That must be confusing and upsetting for your daughter and you. Religion should be use to comfort, not condemn. These people are ignorant, judgmental, and insensitive to make those remarks.
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I am so appreciative of you for sharing your lived experiences!
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They say if they start talking about God he may be going into a crisisā¦ It seems to be that way for us. Pretty much right away. Itās the afterlife I worry about. Like heās wanting to die.
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My SO was a Buddhist monk for many years, but in this latest break he has firmly come to believe he is Christās disciple, a saint, and is practicing a Carmelite mission. He has āconvertedā to Catholicism and is a Marian, a stigmatic, and more lately, the first coming of Satan in abeyance to Christ. Here to pay dues.
I do believe he is a holy man, and I am open to the idea that he is actually possessed. This break is so severe, it feels demonic,
He told me that he is the most powerful human on earth, and here to bring people to Jesus and save them. But what that looks like on the ground is him, chainsmoking, smoking weed with people heās āministeringā to who are mostly street people and folks at convenience stores and Wal-mart, yelling at me and swearing and telling me Iām egoic and satanic and have no practice, fetishizing Batman, and lusting after young girls and watching porn. Not helpful to himself. I have prayed to God and Ganesh and Ste. Therese to give him insight. But no luck.
His religious ideation is the driving force behind massive chaos and personal destruction, as well a cynical disregard of others humanity and property (stealing). When I point out that his behavior is not Christ-like, he gets very angry.
I do believe distorted religious Views to be very dangerous. I wish churches would step into the arena of mental health. Whether it is a transcendence or an organic brain disease, doesnāt matter. It is not healthy.
Gennyg134, This sounds so difficult. It sounds like your SO is looking for meaning in his life and a way to understand the powerful things that are happening to him. Chainsmoking and smoking weed are ways to self medicate that make things worse.
What I wonder is what kind of support you are getting? Do you feel safe, and is there enough positive in your relationship that it is worth the struggle? We canāt break up with our kids or families, though we can distance from them for our own health and safety.
With a SO it is much more complicated.
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Again, religious ideations are a common thread in delusional thinking. So is the FBI or idea that someone is out to harm the person. It occurred to me that in the ānormalā population, we all have dreams that are wild and crazy and just donāt make sense sometimes, or perhaps we can see how they relate to something in our real life. Iād be interested to know if there is any relation in the brain to dreams and delusions! The point is, however, that delusions in real life are NOT normal and are indicative of the need for treatment.
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Thank you for this and no it turned out I wasnāt safe. My SO got worse and is in jail now for choking and terrorizing me. I donāt know anymore what is illness and what is abuse, as the person I knew would never have treated me this way. But the personality he has now doesnāt care about āthe materialā world, except that he always needed money, and doesnāt seem to care about me anymore. It felt as if I became just an object for him to exploit, and debase and hurt. I think this new guy is a demon and hijacked my person. My love. Heās indigent now and has nothing and no one, since I was the last person standing by him. Iām hoping that he will be deferred until treatment instead of jail, and maybe this is rock bottom? Either way, despite my grief and longing for the old person and our relationship, it seems itās too dangerous for me to be around himāespecially if he will not accept his actions and consequences, and continues to have no insight. This Illness has taken both of us down. Am very low. I am seeking support and trauma counseling. I cannot comprehend that it has come to this. We loved each other so very much.
Gennyg,
So sorry to hear you are going through this and glad that you are safe and know that in No way should you put up with or subject yourself to abuse. Do not give this illness the power to destroy TWO lives. Of course you grieve for the person you loved. And it is his responsibility to seek help and treatment. You cannot fix him.
You are honoring your precious human life by seeking support and trauma counseling so that you can have healing. It must be excruciating letting go. And you can only save the life that is yours to save.
Be well and keep reaching out.
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Your grief is understandable and yes, you should protect yourself. Getting counseling for yourself will hopefully be helpful. This is what SZ does to people. But I am convinced there is help and hope for many. I may have posted to you elsewhere, so forgive me if this is a repeat, but the best thing I ever did was to attend a NAMI Family to Family class when our son was missing and homeless and we did not know if we would ever see him again. I learned how to use LEAP (āI Am Not Sick; I Donāt Need Helpā) and with repeated hospitalizations, he ended up in a group home because we could not allow him to come homeā¦He would not get better at homeā¦he was actually of danger to himself due to not eating or drinking (catatonia), and he was also potentially a flight risk. All because he would not take meds. He has been med-compliant for over two years, gradually recovering, and TODAY he has held a part-time job for 6 months, plays sports, goes to church (his delusions or OCD about faith that were NOT Biblical have disappeared), he volunteers, and lives in an apartment by himself. I still use LEAP as a practical communication tool because it works. It helps my son feel heard, listened to, and cared about.
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I did read The book about LEAP and took the NAMI class and it was and remains incredibly helpful. Thank you. My SO was in jail/psych unit for about 7 weeks and now is stabilized, tho I think heās dealing with bipolar 1 with some SZA traits. Or PTSD. Either way, heās much better. If very depressed now. He is seeing a therapist and a PCP and supposed to see a psychiatrist for med supervision, except waitlist is so long. Heās accepted fact he has mental illness and is very remorseful and now, isolated, as his behavior while sick scared and alienated everyone. He says he doesnāt remember a lot of it and cries when he does because of his treatment of me. I have forgiven him because he is participating actively in treatment and taking his medication, but I am moving very slowly. I will always love him with my whole heartā¦but it is different now. He was so cruel and truly awful when he was ill, and now I feel he is ābackā because heās calm and patient and kind again, but maybe this is the depressed/withdrawn side of the illness? I have to remind myself all the time that Iām talking to the illness, even now (when heās depressed). SMI is brutal. I wonder now if in 10 years Iāve ever known who he is, or do I only know him mediated through various filters of his disease.
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My wifeās psychosis was initially sparked by hyper relegiosity. She is a Thai Buddhist and claimed a deceased Monk was communicating with her. I initially didnāt see this as a big problem as I thought she was just at a high level of meditation. But her behaviour became more and more erratic. She eventually flew home to see the monk lying in state and was hospitalised by the people at the temple due to her strange behaviour.
I had to fly over to bring her back home with my daughter and the Thai psychiatrist diagnosed hyper relegiosity.
Steangely, though, the religious aspect almost disappeared as her psychosis got worse back in the UK. Other voices took precedence and she became far less religious, rarely praying or meditating. Itās almost as if the psychosis makes her forget about her religion now, which is strange as that was what caused the initial outbreak
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