I had to evict my son and require him to stay in a rehab facility. Part of the deal for him to come home was that he attend outside therapies. That forces him to get out of the house. We have family functions that his siblings encourage him to go to. His siblings also call and engage him. I guess for us, it’s a combination of having outside friends/family engage and communicate and requiring him to get outside. No short term fixes, just keep chipping away!
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My grandson isolates and we encourage him to try to get out but the truth is our family isn’t social and none of us really go outside. My daughters do work but then they come home and don’t go outside. Most of my grandsons hibernate in their rooms and they don’t have schizophrenia, just the one. So for us, isolation seems natural. I know it’s not but it’s our lifestyle. He did go out to the Social Security office but it took some doing. We just have to impress on him the importance of going to certain places. We can’t force him but we plant the seed and let him make the decision. It doesn’t always work but we keep inviting him to go places even though we don’t want to go either. LOL
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One step at a time ,he’s lucky to have you❤️
I’m wondering if anyone has had success recently getting their loved one out of isolation? My daughter is pretty much in her room most of her waking hours. She used to go on nightly walks with me and the dogs, but has refused for two weeks now. She will go grocery shopping with me once a week but I’m at a loss for other suggestions she might take up to go out with me besides groceries. I’m happy that we are up to her accepting breakfast and dinner from me daily as at least I see her face to face twice a day normally. Last year there were weeks when I didn’t see her.
So glad that you were able to get your son on meds. My fiancee was on Invega. “WAS” apparently it made him feel so “normal” that he didnt need it anymore…then he never needed it!
2 years and 10 months later and getting worse by the day. The constant jibbering, drooling, extermely paranoid and very few lights on at night and definitely no tv. Ugh!
Oh…and he can’t leave because they (his neighbors that want to kill him) will go into his apartment and poison him and break and dirty everything. I supposedly am their leader sometimes. He wants to move but I know the voices in his head will go with him wherever he goes too! Guess who will be the blame once again. Me!
@oldladyblue
I’m wondering the same.
My brother isn’t terribly isolated, but he spends most days alone in his apartment, playing videogames and keeping to himself. He occasionally talks about goals and plans to make changes, but never makes more than a 10 minute, isolated effort.
It’s sad to see him choose to just bide his time “surviving”.
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@DianeR - Oh, the humane society is a great idea! I never thought of that for a place to visit. And we have one within a 10 minute drive. I will research their open hours tomorrow. Thank you.
@Laz - I truly understand how you feel with your loved one being off meds. It is so tough to bear their feelings that we are hurting them in some way, when we try so hard to help and are often the only ones helping.
@wreklus - Yes, biding time “surviving” is a good way to put it. I hate watching the time slip away from her life. If I could watch without thinking how I should be able to solve it, I would feel better, but I still feel like I should be able to solve it.
I’d like to know if anyone has advice on this too! My sister has been in isolation for years she hasn’t stepped a foot out of the house, not once in 2-3 years. There are two and mostly at least one family member living in the same house. She refuses to talk to anyone, refuses when asked to come out for walks or anything outdoors, refused medicines of course but even refuses vitamins and supplements I brought her this time. I do see her while I’m visiting (long visits), twice daily, she comes out of her room whether I knock and inform her I have food for her, she only accepts food or she goes to the kitchen to prepare something for herself. She does Not have tv/mobile/phone/games or anything to connect her with the outside world from her room, she has some old books there, that’s all. She locks her room on herself and when she goes to the bathroom or kitchen. She did sit with me to watch tv a few times but if I start talking to her she leaves.
How to get them out of isolation? my brother who she’s staying with also isolates from the outside world but still uses mobile to order food etc, he plays video games, communicates with me… they both eat daily and drink water, they stay clean, and want to watch tv sometimes but that’s all.
Oh gosh, maybe it is better if they isolate if they are unmedicated. My daughter and I went to the movies today, it was a tense outing with strange outbursts from her before the movie, and afterwards it ended with her getting out of my car to walk home after calling me crazy because I wanted her to put her seat belt back on.
Me too! My son will go anywhere/anytime. If I can’t drive him, I’ll send an uber and that has worked out really well to get him to ice skating sessions. He is very social with people but he is VERY scraggly, however, the trust in our relationship has come so far that I am waiting for the right time to have the “appearance” talk because he is beginning to respond to my suggestions, but not right away. He has to process for quite some time.
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You know, it actually ended well. When she got back into her room in the back of the house, she then came into the living room, with the dogs and her step-father present (she usually avoids him totally) to smile and give me a hug. Wow, just that was worth the upsetting emotional trip earlier.
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That process time is something I understand all too well. It can take my son many months and sometimes more than a year to come around to an idea that is for his own good but I have to gently keep re-introducing it to him over and over but not too often or close together in attempts. I can’t let it become an argument and if I can say it like I am just trying to joke around with him then it’s even better. Small improvements happen but never quickly.
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I’m back to “oh, gosh, maybe it’s better if they isolate”. My daughter asked my husband to fix her door this a.m. as it wouldn’t latch, (what? she actually spoke to him? that hasn’t happened in a looooong time). Then she went out for a walk. It is dark now, she hasn’t returned (8 hours later) and we found out after calling hospitals and then the police that she was arrested and booked into jail for disorderly conduct and battery on a law enforcement officer early this afternoon. She is in the jail hospital, which is a separate building, we were able to find out. Other than that, we know nothing, as she hasn’t called. I don’t know if she even knows my number anymore as she stopped using the phone pretty much months ago. Now I am wishing she’d stayed in her room.
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Wow. Sorry @oldladyblue.
My son has had days like that,
Some things would
Seem better but he clearly would have more psychosis and would head out from here moving around in the community. I would worry until he showed up back at home.
What do you do now?
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So sorry to hear this Oldladyblue. What a mess. I’m glad she’s at least in “jail hospital” rather than just plain old jail. I guess the officers knew right away that she has special needs. That’s very fortunate, if there is such a thing anymore.
Community participation sounds like a nice idea for everyone else in the world, but not necessarily for our family members. It’s so sad.
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I am sort of at a loss on what to do. The first time she was in jail (2 years ago) she was also put into the jail hospital. I went to the arraignment the next day and told the judge that she was mentally unstable. The judge released her from the criminal charge, but ordered observation by the jail psychologist, who ordered she be Baker Acted. So she was let out of jail, but taken immediately from the jail hospital to the nearest psych ward with an open bed. She was released after a week, with a diagnosis of unspecified psychosis, and unmedicated. Maybe the same thing will happen again.
I know for a fact that only the court can order her onto medication, as she won’t voluntarily take it. Perhaps it is a good thing she is in the legal system now, with a felony charge? I could bail her out, I could leave her there, I could go to the arraignment, I could assume that the judge will look at her past record and already know she is mentally unstable.
I wish I knew what to do. It’s been just over 2 hours since I found out. I’m in a mental turmoil.
What result do you think would be best for her? I know you have felt taking the steps to have her involuntarily medicated for a short time was not worth the trouble. Do you think a court order for meds for a longer time might make a difference?
My first thought is to not let her have a felony on her record if you can help her avoid it.
You are her only advocate at this point.
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I am so glad you found her safe! I would go to the arraignment and try to grab her public defender. See if the public defender can ask the judge to release her to a behavioral health hospital and then try to get them to put her in court ordered meds? Hopefully this will get her some help. I will and am thinking about you. So sorry you have to go through this.
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