Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

Do you ever just take to,your room to distance yourself


#1

I started this a while back where I would go to my room and watch nice Happy you tube videos, light my wax melter and take my cocker spaniel up,to keep me company.
Well tonight is one of those nights. Son was loving and caring to hubby who went away yesterday for work for 2 days, telling him to take care and look after himself, gave him a hug etc.

Todaynthough he came a short walk with me and our dog, he was just yes and no, then when we came home, he started saying that hubby had set him up, I,asked what did he mean, he said well a few weeks ago they went to Wembley as their team was in the final of a soccer game, on way back hubby had a few beers so did son. Our son was chatting to a man beside them on the train, they didn’t know him, but just General boy , soccer talk etc.

Son is convinced he said something incriminating himself (he didn’t) and he (didn’t) do what he thought he said to this man, get me?
Now son is saying he would never say these things to a stranger (but he didn’t say them) as his dad was with him the whole time.My son also has said a while ago that he has said the same thing to someone else .
He says hubby set him up and tricked him, then he said “someone” spiked his drink as he went to use the bathroom on train and said there was more in his drink when he came back. He then started saying someone must’ve touched him up when he was younger because of what he perceives as something odd about him again false.

He’s due to start a new med in 9 days, it’s going to be two weekly to begin with but he’s angry as it’s going to be in his upper buttock , he says he is going to,refuse it as they are fake anyway and want to ruin him.
The med has never been great but I notice his delusions seem to be getting more frequent now. Thanks for listening .


#2

I have to take a break some days - some days, I must go to the bathroom or walk to the mailbox 100 times.

When my son says the meds don’t do anything anyway, I say this:

“If they don’t do anything, then it won’t hurt you to take them then - will it?”

I also tell him that they don’t have a pill that will make you not psychic or take away your ESP, so you’re good. They’ll just help your anxiety, stop your mood swings, and if we’re lucky, help you sleep at night. I never mention anything about it helping his psychosis, because he no longer acknowledges he has it.

I’m waiting to see if they’re going to make a big change in his meds too. His outpatient doctor sent over the clozapine recommendation on Friday & the hospital doctor was already gone. So, they told me he should see it today, but I haven’t heard anything. I think I’ll ring the nurses desk & see if they know anything.

Good luck to both our sons on the med changes.


#3

You seem to be coping well, my son gets the depot as he’s on a CTO, he can’t have clozapine as he won’t allow bloods , hope your son improves too, take care.


#4

As awful as he is about the meds, they could draw his blood all day long - he doesn’t care about that at all.

I just called & they started him on Clozapine either late Friday or on Saturday, so he’s already 2 days in.

He’s still pretty delusional, so it’ll be interesting to see how it goes. I think I seem to cope pretty well because most of his delusions are fairly happy ones for him. But, when the really bad one hits, it’s heartbreaking to watch - kind of like the one your son has.

The difference is my son believes something bad happened to someone else. He had a therapist that he fell in love with. I won’t even call it a crush because to him, it was much more than that. He imagined a whole relationship & future & everything - even that she was pregnant. When he couldn’t see her anymore, he was heartbroken & said he could see through the walls all the way over to her office where she drank a ton of something so she would abort the baby - and he was forced to watch & couldn’t do anything to stop it.

Now, when things are bad, he’s kind of stuck there & says he has to see it over & over & over again. I think now he dreams about it & can’t get it out of his head - and that’s what starts the racing thoughts, no sleep, mania, etc. and pushes him further into himself.

I guess each time I hear it, it has a less impact on me, because I have to build up enough of a shell to stay stable myself, but it’s awful to hear him talk about it. One day, he said I told him I wanted to give him a pill that was like a hug. I told him I didn’t know about a hug, but I sure wished I had a pill for a broken heart. He just kind of smiled a little, but that’s exactly what he needed.

This will sound crazy, but I did stop by a Botanica shop - it’s like a Mexican VooDoo kind of place. And I looked up some Wiccan stuff. I was so desperate to give him some relief, I thought just maybe they could convince him they lifted some kind of spell from him – but I didn’t go through with it. The Botanica didn’t really do it for me, and I think the Wiccan stuff might have made it worse. I did buy him a blessed bracelet from India guaranteed to ward off evil spirits that was kind of cute from the Botanica since I got them to explain to me how all kinds of stuff works. He wore it as an ankle bracelet for a week or so.


#5

Ahh you try so hard slw, that’s a really sad delusion bless your son.
Sometimes I feel selfish then I think of them and how it feels .
We would do almost anything wouldn’t we.

My son won’t give blood as he is scared what they might do to it, i.e. Blood sacrifice but then he said he heard that from someone in hospital.

Do you have any pets? My dog is my little saviour x


#6

We have 1 rat, 2 cats, 1 rabbit, 16 dogs in total & a couple dozen chickens.

Only 2 of the dogs are home full time and if my son is really agitated they stay in their kennels for the most part.
If he’s quieter, they turn into 125 lb. lapdogs.

The cats either avoid him or follow him around, but they do that to me too. They consistently love the dogs though.
They do kind of camp out under his bed more often than not.

Sometimes, I think he gets some comfort from them. Other days, he probably doesn’t get any comfort from anything.

And, no worries on the selfish part. I feel that way too sometimes. I don’t think we’d be human if we didn’t.
On bad days, I feel like it will never get better - ever. And, on really good days, we actually have fun. And, in between, I kind of feel like I’m either trapped in a nightmare or the Twilight Zone. It can get very surreal.


#7

This might help you with the shots. Maybe the blood too.

I never do this with anything that’s a symptom, but other things, like getting a shot or not being able to smoke, I tell him:

“You’ll be OK - you’re tougher than that, and I know you can handle it.”

I do it as in I have confidence in him that he can handle things - not in a non-sympathetic, brush it off kind of a way.
Most of the time it works. In high school, he used to tell me that he liked to handle his own problems because it made him feel good, so that’s where I got the idea.

It couldn’t hurt to try. See how it does with the shots.

Something like,

If there’s nothing in them, then it won’t hurt you to get them. And, besides, you’re tough - you can handle it. It’ll all be fine.


#8

Wow that’s just a few animals going there :grinning: Yes I get you totally about how we have good and not so good days.
Wish I could be like you and realise no amount of trying to convince my son it’s just his “thoughts”


#9

I’m gonna try this thank you :grin:


#10

You’re wasting your energy trying to logic them out of it - it’s not going to happen.
Not until he’s better anyway. And, when he’s better, he might start to think he was mistaken anyway. We always say mistaken - never wrong. That’s how my son puts it, so I go with it.

Honestly, it’s way easier to just go with it & I don’t think it does one bit of harm.
I do say I don’t know, I can’t do that, I’ll take your word for it, I know you’d never lie to me - all those things - a lot.
But I sympathize & tell him I’d do anything I could do to make it better, because for him it’s very real - and just because it didn’t really happen doesn’t mean his pain or his emotions are any less.

I do tell him he needs to quit thinking about that therapist though. I don’t say he’s wrong, but I tell him that everyone gets their heartbroken, and even married people break each other’s hearts. That in time, he’ll get over it, but the best way to get over it is to stop thinking about it as much as possible. Same thing I’d tell him if it had been a real girlfriend.

If my son had your problem, I’d think of how to reassure him - maybe some alarms on the windows so no one can come in & get him. Perhaps an air horn or loud whistle so he can sound an alarm if someone tried to kidnap him while he was out. Just anything so he feels safer. And, no more drinking.


#11

I’ve picked up a few good tips tonight from you and thank you for that .


#12

I live in an RV with my schizophrenic mom. My entire situation is complicated. Let’s just say I don’t have a room to go to. If I really need a break, I will go to the bus stop nearby and chill out. Last night for example, my mom was just sitting there sobbing for the longest time over nothing. She knows clonazapam and my hugs make her feel better, but instead she;ll intentionally refuse to take it or ask for a hug because she “deserves to suffer” because she “sucks”. That massive self pity stuff really gets on my nerves. She doesn’t suck, her schizophrenia sucks. Her voices suck ass the worst. she knows how to help herself. Does she not realize I’m hurting too, listening to her cry? At the same time I can’t really go off on her because she’s not doing anything wrong, and she’s already crying, in a psychotic state. …Which is why I go down to the bus stop for a break and to clear my head and cool off. Being autistic myself, I don’t know how to help her.


#13

Sometimes there just isn’t anything we can do to relieve their pain. They don’t mean to be selfish, the scz makes them that way. So hard for everyone.


#14

Q. You are so brave snd strong . Have you tried to access counselling or any help from mental health services for yourself?