Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

Exhausted scared family


#1

My brother was diagnosed as bi polar/Sz 2 years ago. He is also an alcoholic drug addict (Xanax, Oxy etc). He can’t hold a job and if it wasn’t for my parents paying his rent, he would be out on the street. It’s been a life long struggle as hes been in and out of jail, DUI’s, domestics, etc. basically since he was a teenager. My family is very small and we don’t have the coping skills - my mother is his biggest enabler, my dad is 86 and doesn’t understand mental illness. I myself suffer from anxiety and depression. Thank god for my husband who for the last 23 years has had to deal with this - he’s a rock of strength for us all. Right now my husband is the only one talking to my brother. Things here recently took a turn for the worse when my brother had an episode that made him come close to assaulting my poor father. This is the first time this has ever happened and it scared us all. My mom had a hip operation and was in the hospital - so he made one of his “friends” drive all over town looking for her because we didn’t want him there…he was in a panic that he was losing his drug money. Then he tracked my dad down and demanded money from him. When my dad told him where to go he became enraged - got in my dads face screaming, saying horrible things threw things, broke a lamp and then almost impaled himself on the mailbox. We live an hour away from them all - my brother lives about 10 mins from my folks so he can get over there anytime he wants. This has really triggered my anxiety as I immediately go to worst case scenario and have constant visions of my parents hurt/dead the next time he goes off the rails. So after this episode, for the first time ever we have intervened and made my mom cut off all money and communication to him - they still pay his rent/electric and he has food stamps - so he can subsist. But now he seems to be cycling more frequently and panicking because we cut off his money supply. We had an incoherent rant on voicemail last night and I’m just absolutely paralyzed with fear…mostly for my folks. He’s never hurt any of us or even shown aggression to us before but now seems to be spiraling out of control. He needs to be in rehab and counseling but short of doing a 5150 or jail, I’m just not sure how to get him help. Anyway - my purpose here is just to hear about what other people go through and how they deal with it…I already feel better just acknowledging it and knowing others deal with this - and much much worse. Thanks all.


#2

Call the authorities. He needs to be hospitalized. He is a danger to others.


#3

The criteria for hospitalization is if the person is “a danger to himself or others”. Your brother meets these conditions. Maybe if he is hospitalized he can be put on a time released shot of psychotropic medication. Maybe that will settle him down enough that you can talk sense to him.


#4

Sorry I forgot to mention the incident with my dad happened three weeks ago - we didn’t find out about it until 2 days after it happened when he sent us a rambling email threatening suicide (my parents hide his behavior from us). We immediately called the sheriff to do a welfare check. But by the time they caught up with him several hours later he had cycled back down - was home watching tv and coherent. So we let it go and he’s been reasonably stable (still not seeing any of us but in phone contact with hubby) until this message he left last night. We responded via text that his message was unacceptable and he knows we will call deputy again if it gets worse…today all is quiet. Just holding my breath I guess…thanks for the input everyone.


#5

You are right. He should not be around your parents.
i guess it is up to them if they want to pay his rent, etc…
His drug addiction can cause these symptoms to amplify everything-including his bursts of rage.
Keep a close eye on your parents. I would not hesitate to call the police and have him taken to the hospital if he does this again ( I hope not!).
You can always call the police in your area and make them aware of the situation so they know how to handle your brother if this comes up again


#6

go to court house takes 2 signatures here


#7

So today he called my mom asking for money - made up a bunch of ridiculous lies to play on her emotions…claiming to have had a seizure because he has no Xanax. While I don’t doubt he may be going through withdrawals at this point since its been a month with no money, I don’t believe a word that comes out of his mouth. The problem is my mother does and she goes right back to enabler mode, making excuses for him. But she told us she said no to his requests. So now I’m back to being terrified that he will fall into a rage and go over there. They have strict instructions to keep the house locked and call 911 if they even see him coming. Is this my anxiety amping it up? According to her he was not aggressive or mean…just pitiful. but he’s not being treated and I know SZ can flip the switch at anytime. This is such a nightmare and I feel so powerless.


#8

I hope your mom sticks to her guns and refuses to enable him. He doesn’t need any street drugs! I think you will always be worried about what can happen or what might happen. We all do. Just try and not get over worked up. HUGS