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Feeling sad today


#21

Every time they/we do something new or try something different, we build neurotransmitters in the brain. Hope you have a great day.


#22

Merci beaucoup for your reply.

What is a “group home” in your state?

Here in Vermont, it’s a step out of the State Psychiatric hospital with a minimum stay of 6 months.

My son, 45-years-old, has not done well in “the world”

has had several hospital stays, group home stays and jail time.

He is currently in a “group home” that gets them ready to be out in the world again.

I’m often torn by conflicting information. Local media says mental health care in Vermont is really bad. Then I read Vermont has pioneered excellent mental health care in the nation since 1950.

When I hear an elderly woman in piss-stained pants screaming out of control at the group home, I have fears about the quality of care for my son.

Look forward to hearing from you.

Vermont Woman


#23

I don’t think anyone should tell anyone else in this group how to feel. We all have a right to feel sad. This is not a who has it worse competition.


#24

I am feeling sad today. Every now and then I will indulge myself with some sadness, and why not?

Jeb has left on his driving trip. The damage to his apartment over the last year is disappointing. I know that a good deal of the damage was done recently. Looks like not evacuating for the hurricane was more than a bit stressful.

He has covered up several of the switch plates with paper and tape. Some of the holes in the walls have revealed wiring in particular around light switches. Some of the holes aren’t around wiring at all. There isn’t any power going to some of the switches - hate to think he’s messing with wiring (?)

The large nice box we have built for our son with scz, looks more like an animal lives there. He cleans sporadically, so its not a nightmare cleaning wise, just a lot of damage to the walls and some damage to the ceiling and blinds.

Looking at all of it just sort of stopped me. I don’t know what to think.

A couple of hours later it just popped into my head. I will never get over the loss of Jeb to this illness.

While we are all used to the “waiting for the next shoe to drop” feeling, this yearly road trip thing is worse.


#25

Oh hope,

I just sighed with sorrow when I read your post. It was a couple weeks ago I was sitting on the floor of my kitchen and realized this is a lifelong illness. We had spent so much time and effort on crisis after crisis that when we made it to a relatively good place, the gratitude for the good place comes with the knowledge that it is tentative and fragile. It’s impossible to get over the loss because our family members need safety and basic care that they cannot provide for themselves. The sadness, walking away from the damaged apartment–you don’t really have to do anything except possibly make sure there are no fire hazards…

I hope comfort and safety for all of you.


#26

Hope, I can feel your sadness and I have been there several times. It is sad and I’m sorry. I pray he comes home safely. How long does he typically stay gone?


#28

Hereandhere, You are right I really don’t have to repair the damage to the walls and ceiling. Feels much better to have someone else say it. Now that he has started that sort of thing, it probably won’t be the end of it. I will clean it and get the repair man in for his dryer - he has not been able to adapt to it being an apartment size dryer - always loads it up with his towels like its a big machine. I made a mistake in getting a smaller model. You can never predict what change the scz won’t be able to handle.

The people who do have to enter his place, the bug guy, the appliance repair guy, I hope it doesn’t scare them.

Thanks Hereandhere


#29

This time he plans to be gone a little longer than 2 weeks. Where its possible, he books himself into places that are single units.

The worst part about waiting for the next shoe to drop - is that we never know what it will be next. What, when and where.

The life of the parents of the unmedicated, always something. Thanks Mom2.


#30

I hear you! Hope this helps: It took me a long time to realize my husband wouldn’t or couldn’t do what I and others felt would be beneficial for him in learning to live with sz. Now that he was on a medication that was helping him, I got sad and felt I wasn’t doing enough to get him out, to interact with people, have experiences that would get him out of his (my belief) empty no life. I felt guilty doing anything I enjoyed. But I took a good look at him and his day-yes, he stays home and talks to his voices, but the conversations are good and he enjoys them. He sleeps a lot, he won’t shower enough or brush his teeth as often as I wish, but he is relaxed and satisfied and not depressed. So I let him be if he wants. I keep stress out of his life as much as possible. He doesn’t do well in crowds. We used to love traveling even after his diagnosis, but thats not possible for him now. We had cancelled 4 trips (at great expense) before I came to this conclusion. Yes, I’m great at denial. But I have learned. For myself, I make sure to do things I enjoy whenever possible. I make sure I exercise, have lunch with friends (if he’s ok on his own) and eat well. Get my hair done. If I feel stress, it will reach him and that makes him worse (not to mention what it does to me!).

For now (and hopefully this feeling will continue) I believe he has a new normal (an ever changing normal) and I have to accept that and not work against that. I realize things could change in a minute as it has in the past. But I’ll try not to let that possibility get in his way or mine.


#31

I’ve had these exact same thoughts. This is my first time at this forum, or any forum actually. I feel a connection to what you are going through. I hope that both of us hold our heads high, and find all the right insights, words, hugs and love for our sons today. Thank you for sharing.


#32

My heart breaks for you. I want to become active to change the way people with sz are treated in the legal system. I heard recently that a judge sees more individuals with sz than a psychiatrist. I will keep you and your son in my thoughts.


#33

Thanks Lioness
My son is still in Hospital now and he had agreed for daily injection of Haldol and Ativan. I want him to be on Invega Sustena Shot but he needs to be take Paliperdine pills first for a week before taking the shot. he is not agreeing to it and the pdoc still not doing anything to enforce it.
not sure what will happens to him, how will he be discahrged ? and to where?
I have to Leave numerous messages to social worker so I can get one reply from her.
I had asked for him to be Conserved in a Assisted facility setting.
I am miles and miles away and cannot quit my job and move back to California to at least be there for him
it is just a difficult situation
Thanks for your prayer


#34

Thanks Believing. I need all prayers i can get.
praying for you and your son as well.