Hey guys! This is my first blog anywhere other than a status on Facebook. Well here’s my story…
In the beginning:
I was head over heals for him! I knew he had a thing for public places…I mean occasionally we would go to the boat, see a movie, and out to eat like at mcdonalds. He does not like big restaurants the closest I ever got him to one was Waffle House in the afternoon when it’s pretty empty. But he said he didn’t like for people to watch him eat so I just wrote it off. He has always loved video games so that’s what we did…bought video games and watched movies at home. Also, I have a 6 year old daughter and 8 year old son (not his) whom he has grown to love as his own. We were together for 2 years before he cheated on me and got another girl pregnant. This really tore me down…but…I loved him and I forgave him and decided to make things work. Well in April '12 we married. (At the JP…just me and him). His son was born the following month. We use to argue all the time…he could be so rude and hateful to the point I felt like I was going insane. However, he was NEVER physically abusive. Just would same some very cruel ish. It almost felt like he had no conscious or remorse. But he was always quick to appologize and break down crying begging me to never leave him. He wasn’t close to his family so I in turn would feel guilty knowing he had no place else to go. Well I left him nov '12 and in with my parents for 11 months. I filed for a divorce and it was final in April '13. However, we never stopped contact for more than a month. He ended up winning me over again Oct '13. When we first move in he was so sweet and kind and we were getting along just fine and then 2 weeks ago things got strange!
Current situation:
About 3 weeks ago my boyfriend got real paranoid. He started thinking the cops and Feds were out to get him. I tried reassuring him that he was ok and that nothing was wrong…in doing so he would get very pissed off and and start yelling! I could feel us distancing…well last Tuesday 01/27 he txted me (he gets off at 2:30 and I get off at 5) saying that somebody had broke in the house…he said they didn’t take any thing just moved things around. So when I make it home at 5 he is ready to call the cops to make a report of the “burglary?”…anywho he gets kinda aggrivated at the cop because he didn’t feel like he was doing his job. The cop have him his card with a case number to prove that the report would be filed. Welll the cop leaves and two hours later he calls the cops again because he said the kids bedroom window had been opened…well the next morning (he leaves for work at 530) I hear him in the living room talking to another cop. Come home that evening and he is just all over the place…peeping out the windows thinking somebody is outside watching him. But he calms down and we lay down. 3 xs before going to sleep (me at least) he jolts out the bed to look out the bedroom window… I ask him what he is doing and he non-chalantly (sp) relies “nothing baby just go to sleep” well the next day I come home and he just seemed so distant. I cooked and he wouldn’t eat (all week long). Well I was watching tv and all if a sudden I heard a loud bang. I asked him what it was and just replied “oh nothing” I think nothing of it and finish watching tv before going to bed.
Friday 01/31:
That morning I went into the bathroom to get ready and when I opened the door the ceiling cover over the AC unit had been tore down and the ace pipes torn out and broken…on the sink was the pocket knief he had used to pry it open with. I texted him and asked him was that the loud bang I heard last night and why in the hell did he do that? He responded "I know that “they” put cameras up there.
He txted me about 3 pm telling me somebody else broke in and that he was calling the cops. Well my phone died at work and he shows up at my job. A friend of mine was outside smoking and she said he got out the car and appeared normal but when he started talking to her she said he seemed off and kinda skidish. Shortly after she told me this a supervisor came and asked me to make him leave. I went outside and he was on the ground diggin in the driver side floor board of his car. I yelled his name and he damn near jumped out of his skin…I talked kinda rude to him and demanded that he leave before he gets me fired. Well when I got off he parked across the street waiting on me…and when I come out side he yells my name (very embarrassing). I just walked to my car. Well he followed me to the daycare and as I’m getting ready to come out he walks in and says loudly " HEY I just wanted to come in and introduce myself in case I ever have to come pick up the kids"
The kids were scheduled to go to their grandmas for the weekend and I had to drive 45 mins to meet her. He asked me was I gonna follow him to the house so he could drop off his car and ride with me. I told him no and to go home. He started crying accusing me of leaving him. He stated " you just don’t want to be around me do you" tears in his eyes. I yelled hell no! And slammed the door in his face. He followed me all the way to drop the kids off and then back home…but when we make it home he is not pissed off for making him waste gas by following me like he normally would in a situation like that. (I get blamed for every thing). Instead he is real to himself and not speaking really at all. He is still pacing the house though. He decides to go out to eat (Arby’s) and shockingly he choose to eat inside. As we are eating he asks me if I wanted to go see a movie. So we go and see “lone survivor”. He made a few inappropriate out burst about the movie and was ready to go half way through it. I told him “NO We just paid $18 to watch a movie!” He was like well give he the keys so he could go smoke. I told him hell no and he got pissed and got up to leave. So I followed him. As we were walking out he turns around and with tears in his eyes says “you were about to kill me wernt you” I look at him crazy and asked him why would I want to kill him. So we leave and he asks me did I bring him to see that movie because those events were gonna happen to him. I talked kinda bad and called him crazy. We make it home and I go to bed pissed off. At 230 am he wakes me up asking for my keys. I told him hell naw take your own damn car. So he leaves in his car and is gone for two hours. I was worried sick and he was not answering his phone or replying to txts. Finally 2 hours later he comes home and instead of using his key he bangs on the door and every window in the apt. Scared the crap out of me!! I go to open the door and he looks at me with the most terrified eyes and takes off running to his car that he had left running. He takes off then backs up and parks. He come in and I go off on him! We argue and then we both layed down to go to sleep about 5 am. At 6:23 am I woke up to every light in the house on so I get up and walk down the hall turning off the lights and runs up and around me quick, puts me in a choke hold chocking me all the way back to the bed room. I get him off me and start crying. He said I thought you were coming to kill me (with no expression what so ever) and the goes to sit on the couch like nothing just happened. This pisses me off and doesn’t understand why I’m mad. So I lay in the bed unable to sleep for about an hour. Get up at 7am and decided to go to work. He is questioning me why and was there somebody else I was seeing (which he has always accused me of cheating). But what blew my mind was he couldn’t see what he did wrong. I leave and about 10 am he is texting me stuff that was making no sense and asking when I would be home. I make it home about 12 and he is not here. I txt him and ask him if he was home. He said yeah and I called him a liar. After that he didn’t respond…I come in and the blinds wore torn and the bathroom was worse. So I try calling him…no answer but he txts but they make no sense. So I tell him I’m calling the cops which I did. He makes it home before the cops and try’s to get in but I had dead bolted the door… So he starts yelling and calls the cops too. Cops get there and I show and tell them what’s been going on. They told me that he had called them out to the house like 7 times this week (while I was working) and that they thought he was crazy and advised that I leave him. They even stated that they thought he needed to be mentally evaluated. So I gather as much as I can and go to my moms. I didn’t talk to him for 2 days after that.
Monday 02/03 :
First thing that morning I go to the police station to see about a restraining order. They told me I would have to get an attorney to do so. And then asked was I referring to a black male. I told him yes and he informed me that he had been in a wreck Sunday and was now in the hospital because he had weed and wet in his system (which I was already wondering if he doing drugs because of the way he was acting but I was certain he wouldn’t do that). So I go to the hospital to check in him and a psych dr asks to speak to me privately. We go into a private room and I tell her everything that’s been going on these past 3 weeks. She then informed me that he did have weed in his system but no wet…and that he had been diagnosed with “Schizophrenia” and “paranoia” (I had been calling him a paranoid schizophrenic" during his moments out of cruelty) when she told me this I broke down! I cried and cried. She informed me that he would be in the hospital until he got off the waiting list for a “STATE HOSPITAL!” I have been in such great shock! I have really done my research on this stuff and feel pretty educated on it. I have such an interest on that all I do is research it in my spare time. I feel like it’s consuming me. I have been crying uncontrollably my heart is really broken because I feel like both of our lives have changed with one Diagnosis…
I decided to go see him today because I know he isn’t close to his family and has nobody. I feel like he is all alone up in that hospital and I’ve just abandoned him. He has to have some one sit in the room with him 24/7 which is really aggrivating him. When I spoke with him, he was very emotional but he told me that somebody was chasing him trying to kill him…and that the drain pipes on the side of the apts was pumping poison into our home poising him. At this point I can’t hold my tears back and he asks me “baby what’s wrong?” And I cry even harder…he is in denial bad and truly believes these events really happened…so I just wiped my eyes and listened to him tell me all about the people talking to him…
I am so lost right now…just 3 weeks ago my 28 year old boyfriend seemed perfectly normal…helping kids with homework, watching movies curled up on the couch all weekend …AND now this? HOW??? HOW come he didn’t tell me ??? Ok I’m crying now so I guess I’m done…