My 22 year son has spent 4 years under the mental health service and is now trying to live in a council run bedsit flat. He exists on benefits and is paid every two weeks. Although money is tight he could manage if he is careful… However he is forever running out often over a week before, due to frittering which means no money left for food or travel (he’s been coming home every weekend as he’s quite isolated where he lives) He spends without checking his bank balance despite being constantly reminded. He has had so much budgeting help from me and the mental health service and I’m fed up now bailing him out each time. I’ve decided to not help him this time and see what happens as I feel he is becoming too reliant on me. However I don’t want this to affect his mental health. He is also under a vocational officer who is working with him to try and find a part time job which isn’t stressful.
Would he allow you to be listed on his account so that expenses would have to be okay’d by you before being deducted? I am my sons legal rep payee so I decide where his money goes and how much. He has a separate Pay Pal card that I put money on each month for his extras. I had to take this route because he could not handle his own finances no matter how hard I tried to help him. He now handles his minor expenses on his Pay Pal card (much smaller scale) by keeping a notebook.
I stopped giving my daughter money some time ago. I let her live in my home, share my food, and occasionally give her $20. Sometimes I pay for thrift store clothing, or a movie or a meal out. We take walks for “entertainment”. In my opinion, anyone that receives money will just spend it and ask for more, and keep asking for more… I’ve also cut off my “well” sons… now that I don’t give them money anymore, I rarely hear from them, but at least they’ve become self sufficient.