I could detail out the problems with your reasoning and the ones you don’t include in your current story, just met me know if you need me to do that
And also schizophrenics are not held captive, usually they’re quite vocal about their needs
Serenity,
The facility was investigated once before that I know of. Several other family members of other residents that live there have had big problems with the RN also. The state of Texas does not have a very good track record of caring for vulnerable people. The Texas Medical Board and the Texas Board of Nursing have horrible reviews online. I have a meeting with the hospice tomorrow. The RN is telling people she is my sister’s power of attorney. The hospice has no paperwork or legal documents stating that the RN is POA. I cannot believe she has my sister thinking she is close to death. My sister is 66 now and she no longer knows much about what is going on around her. Thank you to all of y’all for your suggestions. I’m looking into every one of them now. It has really helped to hear other people’s ideas that I could not think of myself.
This is all about a conflict between you and the RN. Don’t put your sister in a worse situation.
Your sister doesn’t have dementia she has schizophrenia
Hi @Powerhouse,
How is the situation with your sister going? Were you able to find any resources to help your situation?
What you’re dealing with really hits home with me because my mother was in a nursing home the last few years of her life. Full blown Alzheimer’s. The kids and I would visit, and we were all strangers to her.
I remember offering money to some of the nurses to make sure my mother got the best possible care and attention in the last days of her life. Rather than go against some of these nurses, I tried the opposite approach, and kissed their butts. I found out when their birthdays were, and actually bought gifts and gift cards for some of these nurses. To this day, I still have no clue if it made a difference. But it gave me a little sense of peace.
But this was all before my son’s sz diagnosis. She died in 2011 and my son’s diagnosis was in 2014. I cannot imagine the hell if I would have had to deal with both of them.
Rather than antagonize, any chance you could have a heart to heart talk with this nurse? They say you lure more bees with honey. And it sounds like there aren’t many options left for your sister as far as living arrangements. I don’t know, I’m just grasping @ straws.
Please keep us posted on any progress, and if any of the leads mentioned here were fruitful.
Kind thoughts for you and your sister.
Hi,
Thank you for your kind words and thoughts. I haven’t had any luck with anything so far. I did try talking to this nurse many times right after my sister first moved in there. She just does not want to hear what anyone has to say. She has a sister who used to work there but moved away to Dallas. Her sister would sit down with anyone and talk about anything. There was one particular staff that worked there that was very rude to other staff and the residents that live there. I asked the nurse’s sister to talk to this rude staff with me and explain what schizophrenia is and to hopefully make her understand some of my sister’s actions. The three of us sat down at the table and within a few minutes the rude staff got up and walked off. She used to take my sister’s radio away to punish her. My sister cannot sit and watch TV. She just never could so all she had was her radio. This staff that was so rude to everyone ended up quitting. But before she left she cut the electric cord on my sister’s radio. The RN did nothing about any of this. She wouldn’t even listen to any input her sister tried to tell her. I started out kissing the RN’s butt for a long time hoping it would help my sister. It never seemed to make much of a difference. Some of the staff that used to work there that I had spoken to before they quit or were fired used to tell me that the RN was super paranoid. Over time I started to see what they were talking about. I can’t seem to find anyone that could help legally that wants to take much of an interest in what is happening. I talked to someone from a legal aid place the other day that told me to go through the ombudsman for the assisted living facility. I’ve already done that. The lady was of no help and was actually rude to me. It’s like no one that could actually help do anything about the situation even cares. I have told some people from Nami here in San Antonio that I want to testify in Austin about all of this. It’s a matter of finding the right representative to help me. There’s a newspaper reporter that I’ve been thinking about contacting. I don’t know if I want to go that route though. There was an assisted living facility here in San Antonio that burned and there was at least one death. This was about 8 years ago I think. It was two story and it had men and women living there. The lady that ran the place and owned it lived in the house next door. The house the men and women lived in was not up to code. An electrical fire started during the night and blocked the staircase between the second and first floor so people upstairs could not come down the stairs to get out. There had been a staircase that went from a window in the back of the house on the outside down to the ground. But it had been removed because work was being done on the back of the house. This newspaper reporter covered this story in great detail. I’ve been thinking if all else fails I might get in touch with the reporter. Many people just don’t care about the mentally ill. I just keep being told by all these people that my sister is an adult and can make her own decisions. It doesn’t matter to them that she is being intimidated and taken advantage of. Even the hospice social worker told me when she talked to my sister that she kept repeating the same thing over and over again. The social worker said it sounded like what my sister was saying had been rehearsed. I told her of course it was. She’s scared and she says what the RN tells her to say. It’s like people here don’t know what to think and don’t know what to do so they don’t want to try anything. I’ll keep you posted as to what works and what doesn’t work. And thank you. It feels really good to hear supportive messages and ideas from everyone. I really really appreciate it.
I’m sorry I’m coming in way late on this but I’ve been told that a person with a mental disorder CAN NOT make legal decisions. Is her Social Security $$$ made to a Rep Payee? If so, that means that even then can’t trust her to spend her own money to her benefit. I hope things have worked out for you and your sister.
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I have not seen my sister since April 2019. The registered nurse who owns and operates the assisted living facility my sister stays at told me if I come by she will call the police. One of the biggest hallucinations my sister has always had has been about police so that’s not going to help my sister. When I call the staff hang up on me. The registered nurse had been telling my sister for a long time that I was ruining my sister’s life. The last time I saw my sister she looked at me with fear in her eyes. We are both in our 60s and she had never looked at me like that before. It broke my heart. I cannot afford to take all this to court. I talked to everyone that I could think of. San Antonio has a lack of resources and also has a severe lack of people that understand what schizophrenia is and how people can be taken advantage of. I even spoke to an attorney for the elderly at a Nami meeting. She told me to talk to the Ombudsman for the assisted living facility. That’s the very first person I ever spoke to when all of this first started. Nami has been a very big disappointment to me and I don’t go to the meetings anymore.
I have given up for now trying to do anything else. I don’t know what else I can do. My own health is failing and I’m trying to continue working as long as I can. I am exhausted all the time. My sister knows where I live and she has my phone number. The day this facility gets shut down for some reason or the registered nurse dies my sister will call me wanting me to find another place for her.
My sister’s bank account was always in her own name. When she moved into this facility the registered nurse tried to talk my sister into putting her bank account into the registered nurses name. My sister would not do it. This registered nurse does have other residents bank accounts in her name. By now she might have my sister’s bank account in her name. Another family went through this recently. They had a lot of the same problems with the registered nurse that I am having. I am at a loss as to how this thing or anything like this can occur and there is nothing in place to deal with this sort of thing. I can’t even imagine how many other places across the United States are taking advantage of the mentally ill or elderly and very little can be done about it. This registered nurse has lied and she goes on these long crazy sounding tangents that makes some people wonder what she would be diagnosed with.
I feel guilty all the time but I cannot do any more at this point. I got Imaging done this morning when I got off work to make sure I don’t have cancer. I go through this every 6 months. Actually have several health issues going on and all I want to do when I get off work is come home and sleep. I just can’t do it anymore. I love my sister but I just can’t do it anymore. I have my own battle to fight now.
Thank you so much for posting though. I really appreciate it.
Karen
I wish you the best!
@Powerhouse
I’m sorry for what you are going through with your own health issues and the difficulties you are having with your sister at her facility.
As far as the nurse is concerned you can put in a complaint about her via the Texas Board of Nursing:
https://www.bon.texas.gov/discipline_and_complaints_policies_and_guidelines_filecomplaint.asp
You have every right to put in a complaint if you feel the need to do that and they will have to investigate it!
If you want to hire an attorney you can sign up for legal insurance through Met Life maybe $20 a month for an attorney to file for a conservatorship over your sister.
Keep calling Adult Protective Services because when they do an investigation for conservatorship they review all the calls made to Adult Protective Services.
Also, maybe try another NAMI group. A good group can be a great support system when you need it.
Don’t give up! Your sister is lucky to have you!
Hi. I’ve worked in facilities. I’ve seen horrible abuses of power and violations of patients rights and flat out criminal treatment of other human beings. Abuse. Torture. Yours and your sisters story is downright frightening. And sadly very plausible. That RN needs to be investigated. By the nursing board and also a human rights officer and also the police. Don’t be afraid to call the police yourself and have your concerns documented. Ask for a detective. I say call that news reporter if you haven’t been able to get any other results.
My sz partner has been victimized in horrific ways by people he knew and thought were his friends. He was manipulated and coerced due to his delusions that ended up with him being physically tortured beaten raped and ultimately a blackmail attempt on his family. These people had played on his delusions. Absolutely HORRIFIC stuff.
Again, I say call the reporter. And the police.
My thoughts are with you. Best of luck.
My heart is with you in your own fight as well.