My fiancé has schizo effective disorder and we will have really good days then he goes to see his brother and sister- in- law and things get worse. I don’t know what to do. How do I talk to them and let them know the things they are saying and/or doing are causing problems?
The best thing to do is talk to HIM first. Let him know your concerns and the patterns you see. 
Any ideas on how to start this talk with him? I am still very new to this and there are a lot of times when I try to start a conversation with him lately he gets very aggravated.
So you know what triggers him. Good. Does he realize his diagnosis?
He does and some days he accepts it and others he doesn’t. Since he became symptomatic things have been very hard. There are days that he tells me that my just being around bothers him.
Be glad he is communicating his experiences. It’s so difficult. I’m sorry. We are a tough nut to crack.
If I knew his personality, I would say more but I don’t want to make things worse. Is there open dialogue?
Inadequacy seems to be an issue like most of us. It is very difficult to bring a person out of this way of thinking…@notmoses…help.
Open dialogue? I am not sure what you mean. Sorry if I come across as dumb but I want to help and I have kinda just been going at this by the seat of my pants.
I didn’t mean to offend. I meant an open dialogue on his mental illness.
No offense taken. 
Not really if I bring up more than general info. Like talking about things that might help and then moving on he shuts down. I know its not his fault but conversation is a bit strained. I just try not to upset him if I can help it.
Goals. Give him small but attainable goals.
Work them out together if possible.
Thanks that helps
Get a copy of these books, read them and have your family read them, as well. (Torrey can be a bit totalistic and unwilling to see exceptions to his “rules” at times, but most of his book is really worth the effort to plough through.)