A few weeks ago I had joined this forum and posted a question about ideas on what to get my brother for Christmas?
A few days after, I got a phone call from my mother, that he had taken his life. This tragedy has left our family devastated, I have so many unanswered questions and so many “what if’s” and "why didn’t I?"
Never in a million years would I have pictured this, he was such a happy charismatic kid until he was diagnosed a year ago with paranoid schizophrenia.
Some days I think he’s just on a trip out of town and will come back, other days I force myself to face the harsh reality that he’s not coming back. I go to his room and look through his stuff for something a sign, a clue, just something…anything to give me some kind of peace of mind (he didn’t leave a note). I’m the oldest in the family so I maintain a positive vibe for my mom, younger brother and sister. When they go to bed I go to my brothers room and cry until I can’t anymore. I don’t know what to do, has anyone been through this how did you cope?