I have tried to get my son in to some type of therapy and he refuses, how can I convince him its for his own good…
I was sort of the same way. For a while you couldn’t “convince” me that I needed therapy for my illness… that I didn’t have by the way, thank you very much. But I did get talked into therapy through something else…
My parents sort of deconstructed my illness and took it as… “we’re not saying your sick. We’re saying you’ve been very disorganized lately.” “We didn’t say mental illness… We said panic attack.” That is sort of how I ended up getting exposed to therapy in my life.
I don’t try to convince my son anymore that he has schizophrenia, that he needs his meds or that he needs therapy. Accepting that he has schizophrenia is a mood point now. Sometimes he will reference his schizophrenia but it’s not something he thinks needs to be fixed. Honestly I think he only says it because he knows that’s what we think and it’s a word that he can use to reference something, like why he needed a herbal supplement for anxiety that didn’t interact with AP’s… short explanation was schizophrenia. We haven’t discussed his schizophrenia since before his last break which was in Sept. so at least 8 months.
My husband is on Cipralex for GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder). I don’t think he knows what that means. He just knew that he needed help dealing with his anger as it was affecting our relationship. His anxiety was manifesting as anger and frustration that he couldn’t/can’t let go off on his own. I take herbal supplements for menopause that my doctor says I’m probably too young to be going through. I know my body and yes I’m in what they call perimenopause. I don’t have the symptoms anymore because I’m using herbal tinctures. In the end it’s just words or diagnoses that can be accepted or not. It’s treating symptoms or body functions that need help functioning at their best.
I remember one time my son being so upset that everyone was trying to change or fix him, that he didn’t need fixing. I saw the hurt and frustration in his eyes and it hit me big time. In my/our quest to get him to accept treatment I wasn’t approaching it right. He was right. He doesn’t need fixing. He is not wrong to think or believe differently. There have been some moments that have opened my eyes and this was one of them. I saw the hurt in his eyes and my heart reacted. I told him that I don’t want to fix him. I don’t want to change his personality. I love his personality. I love who he is. If he wants to believe in ghosts,fae, god and the devil it’s his choice and his right. I believe in ghosts, god and fae. So what are we trying to do? When these believes and/or symptoms become all consuming so that he can’t lead a life in the physical world where he does exist, then we need help. We are trying to control neurotransmitters that are not functioning at there best. I believe my son produces too much dopamine.
I’m writing a book again… As for therapy. I have been trying since he joined PACT to get him to participate in their groups. I don’t push it. We ask him every couple of weeks if he has thought about going. It’s not you are schizophrenic and you need to socialize. It’s maybe you will enjoy it and meet another friend, can you think about it some more? I can beg or argue but in the end it’s his choice. The more I push the more his defiance kicks in. So I pick my battles and him going to group is not one of them. Telling him that he needs to attend a group outing with other schizophrenics when he doesn’t really believe in schizophrenia would be like someone telling me that I need to attend a divorce group when I’m not getting a divorce.
I know it’s hard when we want so much for our loved ones to see what we see and take and accept the help that is being given. LEAP teaches that when someone asks what you think then they are more likely to take your opinion into consideration. I try not to force my opinions onto my son any more then I have to. I put my thoughts out there but it’s up to him to listen or not. He does need help with anxiety and he does need an education. We do love each other. That is where we are with all it’s ups and downs.
**I would love to talk with your parents!
t think you can. I have the same problem with my son. He is 37 and I still cannot convince him to do anything beneficial. He only seems to respond to force or authority ( law ) I dont know how old your son is, but I think as they mature ( like all of us at some point ) they start to come around. **
he is 38 and I have tried everything and I have come to realize I am too easy on him…he smokes so much that my house stinks and I have had enough,so yesterday I told him tomorrow we are washing the walls and cleaning this smell out of my house and you will smoke outside,and to my surprise he said ok and he is going to help…so next wekk he is getting in to some form of therapy… I am tired of his illness running my life like I have allowed it too…wish me luck…STANDING FIRM CLAIMING BACK MY HOME!!
Good going! Feels good to me. I think sometimes in trying to help and understand-we don`t set boundaries. We all have to have them. I wish you and your son the bestX
One type of therapy I liked participating in are courses, for the mentally ill run by the government. In my country, they have courses such as Fresh Start and Directions. Theyre courses where a bunch of mentally ill people come together and participate in activities such as personal development, computers (basic), art, and therapeutic stuff. I found it very good. The courses last about 6 months and it gives you something to do and you meet people of a similar background to yourself.
Ask at your local psych hospital or phone your local health department and ask them about this stuff. Be sure to know these courses are everywhere.
By the way, these courses are not likely to have the same name in different countries. They could be any name. They are just called Fresh Start, Directions in my country. Just google mental health courses in your state…if it doesn’t show up, vary the search terms, because Im sure as anything that theres courses there.
Also, @joelsgirlkathy, if he doesn’t like the idea of those courses, there are mental health clubs out there. Theyre in all cities and a lot of towns. Mental health clubs are places where you can go for a coffee. Theres also activities going on such as art, drama, health management and other such things. Its an easy going atmosphere and theres likeminded people there.
Just phone your local psych hospital and enquire or ask the shrink. You could google these mental health clubs, they may show up on a google search.
well the day was long… but all the walls were wash mostly by me but he tried…all that smoking left nicotine everywhere and it was a long day, washed up all the towels in the closet,he has smoked outside all day and he grilled out hamburgers for me and him, next to get him in therapy…
well today has been a great day we hooked up his dvd player and cleaned his room he also took a shower and the bobbing has almost disappeared ,i said we need to talk about getting some therapy then he said mo I already go once a month to see the doctor I am not going in to therapy, I have my friends(1) and this yard work to keep me busy and I have come a long way…so for now I will let it ride I told him we will see if he works in the yard, he did get my bike out and pump up my tires…So not pushing this issue for now,as long as he keeps taking his meds…