my wife will soon get guardianship of her son. He lives with us he is 31, paranoid sz. She tells him " you are going to go into group therapy and talk with people that have the same problem you do" “I am going to make you go see someone, you have to talk to someone about your problem”
OK, I am not trying to be negative, just realistic. His response to this is always NO WAY…I DONT HAVE A PROBLEM. I don’t try to sway him either way. I just keep my mouth shut when it comes to this. I don’t offer my opinion to my wife. I think she is going to be disappointed when she gets guardianship and then she can’t get him to go to any therapy. She has even told him " I am going to get the courts to order you to go"
right now his behavior is very disruptive. He is up all night creating disturbances. Slamming doors, playing video games loud, playing music loud, coming up and down the steps all night long. He says awake for 24-30 hour stretches.
not sure how to handle this. I personally cannot put up with this behavior. I am truly concerned it will ruin our marriage.
I am willing to be his co-caregiver but not at the expense of what I think is allowable behavior. I see it destroying my wife and I feel like I can’t say anything.
Guardianship will not make him go to therapy, unless your wife is willing to create and follow thru on consequences if he will not attend. But even if that is the case, until he is ready to participate in therapy, it is likely to not be very helpful. Best case scenario might be to say - I insist you try it 3 times before you decide if it is something you want to continue.
Changing unacceptable behavior will also require a strong will and definite consequences in place for not abiding by house rules.
One of the things it talks about is how a person should be allowed to take his own steps into recovery when he’s ready for it.
My mom tried to force therapy on me too soon but I wasn’t ready, and eventually accepted to go, by my own terms, and my therapist said I chose the right time.
It’s difficult to deal with, he’s probably very angry he has the illness and tries to disrupt your lives because he feels his life is disrupted.
This part makes me wonder like @Minnii if he is med compliant. If she gets any authority over him legally, I would recommend starting with a medication to help him get enough sleep, and leave therapy on the back burner for if/when he ever feels up to it. Sleep deprivation makes everything worse. I also struggle with terrible insomnia for periods of time, and I will also be up all night and very restless. I try to keep quiet since I know my mother and her husband need to get up for work in the morning and so need their sleep, but if I was severely lacking insight and very agitated, I would probably make a ruckus at night, too.
He needs to go to a hospital, so they can put him on medication. You have to try and try until you find the right meds sometimes. This will make a world of difference in his behavior.
I am also trying to get my son back to mental health court. Sounds like that may be a good option for your son.
Sometimes, a third party can get something done that a family member is unable to do. My son will not listen to me at all.
He is med compliant. The doctors had to cut his medications in half the last month. His liver enzymes were dangerously high.
The sleep issue was going on even when his meds were at full strength. His behavior has not changed drastically since the cut in meds. He has always been difficult in certain situations. Screaming profanity in the house at the voices.
He does seem to be rebelling a little more though. He was relentless on my wife yesterday (his mother).
I dont understand why the pdocs do not prescribe a sleep med other than melatonin? I know when I am awake 20-24 hours which is rare my attitude and judgement are agitated, so with him everything gets worse.
You might try another doctor. My son has PRN trazadone for when he has trouble sleeping. He doesn’t always use it, but it is there for him. His pdoc has never hesitated to provide a sleep aide for him.
Also, if he is continuously screaming at the voices, I suspect that whatever he is on is not working, and something else might need to be tried - especially if he was having undesired side effects on the current one. Since my son’s last med change, altho he still has some symptoms, he is not tormented as he was.
thank you…that is my opinion also try another doctor. When she gets conservatorship she will be able to go into the docs and communicate with them in an effective manner. My hands are tied other than offering my input to her. The other bad thing is he will not get up to go to most of his doctors appointments. The doctors are beginning to get upset with cancelled appointments. This is for all of his doctors not just pdocs.