To be honest, he’s not much of a reader, so it may make him feel better to just have it.
He has a learning disorder that’s similar to dyslexia, but not specific enough to have a name. It involves processing memory in addition to long-term & short-term memory.
And, the sicker he is, the harder it is on his reading comprehension. In other words, he can read, but the information doesn’t stick in his mind.
I’m still debating it.
Yes - a common issue - I suspect that when someone is feeling very powerless that a delusion about being Jesus would feel very good and be helpful at least insofar as it makes someone feel better for a while.
See our Diagnosed forum:
Thank you!
I knew it was common, but I did not know if it’s common to have that kind of delusion if you weren’t religious.
Reading posts all over the place today, I even read one person say they had the delusion of being Jesus, and they were Jewish.
So all very interesting, if concerning. I’m off to read these threads now in case I didn’t find them all.
I think perhaps it scares you because you aren’t familiar. I don’t think it is any worse and delusions are delusions. When I suggest building or buying a cabin in the country versus the city, my sister who lives in the city thinks the country is more unsafe. I feel he is more vulnerable in the city because there are more people there. It’s a different perspective.
I was forced as a child to go to church, so I’m very familiar with religion. I’m also very familiar with the bad things that are done because of religion.
My fear is that this will lead him to voices that he thinks are God telling him to do things, and since it’s God, it must be right. Way more right than a president or celebrity talking to him from the TV.
I’m also afraid that people would have a greater chance of influencing him in the name of religion - that could be good and it could be very bad. He could come across people who tell him that God will heal him and he doesn’t need meds or some true craziness like that.
Let’s just say I’m much more comfortable with something science based than religion based, and I don’t think it’s because I’m not familiar. If anything, it would be because I’m familiar enough to not trust anything about religion on face value. There are many great & kind people who are religious, but there are also lots of people who use people’s beliefs against them. To me, if you’re vulnerable, it can be a dangerous area.
I don’t mean that to offend anyone who is religious, and I know it makes me sound paranoid, but sometimes I feel like I live with one foot in the real world and one foot inside my son’s psychotic world.
I understand and I don’t think you are being paranoid. My ears perk up when I hear my son say he thinks God wants him to do this or that. He doesn’t do this when his meds are working.
I probably wouldn’t take the bible either. It’s very unlikely they won’t let him have any other book. I took my son art books and sketch pads, etc. However, they wouldn’t let him have any of them that had the wire binding, like the spiral things to hold the pages together. I guess they can use that to hurt themselves. So just a heads up. Maybe something soothing to look at instead of intense. Even a few pictures of him and his dog or happy things he can look at to bring him back. A sketch pad would tell the nurse’s where he’s at in his head if they looked through it (or if you looked through it when you visited). I was shocked what my son wrote and drew on his sketch pad.
I’m sure this will go away when the meds get right. It will take a bit of time but he’ll get there. My son talked about religion and listened to Mozart and stuff. That is gone now. He had some really bizarre things going on. I hope your son stays in the hospital until he’s very well. He deserves to get his real self back and be thinking right.
I always think when I don’t quite know what to do, if this were me that was sick, would I want someone to put me in the hospital and make me take meds? Yes. Would I want someone to call the cops if I went off the deep end so I wouldn’t hurt myself or, worse, someone else? Yes. I would hope someone would take care of me. In my right mind I would never want to shout profanities at my family or think I’m Jesus and preach that, etc. This is sometimes how I gauge what I should do.
So I’m glad your son is getting good care. Have you found out what they’ve given him so far for anti-psychotics?
My son has had many religious delusions that have changed over time. He claimed to be a satanist for awhile until he said he got beat up by an angel. He actually woke up with a bloody nose and vomit on him. We think he may have had a seizure but it was physical proof to him. He then became a christian and started being extra polite and did every thing we asked and asked before he did anything like get something to eat which we aren’t strict like that at all so it was very odd. He said God told him too. For awhile he said he kept hearing demons that were scaring him and telling him things, he would ask to be read the bible etc and kept asking all these questions basically wanting to be assured he wouldn’t go to hell. Now he’s changed again and says he is the antichrist. Hes sad about it and says he’s also a christian. I do go to church but I wouldn’t bring him in this state or bring up much because I don’t want to reinforce his delusion and also he has mentioned wanting to warn the church. Our church would never advocate that meds are bad or anything like that. The pastor I have heard talk before about not over spiritualizing mental illness. It’s an illness like others that need to be treated. I think if it wasn’t religion it would be some other delusion. For my son, there have been many others as well.
As for the Bible, if you think he won’t likely read it anyway and fixate on it, I would bring it. If it were my son he would fixate on it more if I did not bring it.
He must have called me 10 to 15 times last night & didn’t mention anything religious again or ask for a bible, so I’m going to let it rest.
I asked him what kind of clothes he’d like me to bring since the bag we took in with him is floating around the hospital somewhere, so I gave him the opportunity to say.
I’ve taken him sketchbooks with no wires, but they never give them to him. Maybe they keep them at the nurses desk and he’s supposed to ask for them, which he’d have a hard time doing even when he’s fairly well.
No one’s talked to me yet, so I don’t know if they have him on any meds yet. He told me he wasn’t taking anything. I don’t know if he’s refused, or they just haven’t figured it out yet. If they’re putting him back on the shot, they might have had to order it in.
EDIT: Correction, they put Gideon Bibles in their rooms. I find that very odd, but I guess that could be where this is coming from. If he gets some comfort from it while he’s there, I guess that’s something.
They are keeping my son longer as well. Thank God. Instead of building a place, we are looking at a little house near the river at the end of our property. We’d like to use this as incentive for him to accept treatment, therapy and meds.
Another option is to send him to dual diagnosis for six months. He is also on a waiting list for group home in the city and they are going to talk to him about that today. I need to talk to them about how much assistance they can offer to get him to the therapy.
He would be more social but that in itself has pros and cons.
I’m glad they’re keeping him longer since I know that’s what you wanted and it sounds like it’s what he needs.
The little house sounds perfect too.
I just got a call from his case worker at our county mental health office. He’s been approved for Medicare, so he can now get help from the intensive service program they offer, so even if he doesn’t get full disability, this will help a lot.
Did they mention Medicaid? He will want that as well. If he qualifies, it pays for the co-pays and premiums and nearly everything.
Have they told you how he is doing yet?
Medicaid is all they mentioned - he’s approved.
He is doing about the same. I just spoke to his case manager & she made it seem like they needed confirmation that he has not had his monthly shot before they gave him another one, and she was sure they had started him on oral Invega, but he told me this morning he hadn’t had anything.
The oral Invega will not be enough to clear him a noticable amount before I see him today.
And, of course, they asked the obligatory substance abuse questions. This is not a drug problem primarily, although I know he will self-medicate at every opportunity. He hasn’t had the opportunity since he’s gotten out to have more than a beer or two now & then. I know that sounds bad, but in the past 6 months he’s came off of 3 to 4 8 mg suboxone’s a day & 6 high dosage klonopin’s a day plus some liquor when he could get it to a beer or two - I think that’s major progress.
If anything, the high dosages of opiates was kind of holding him together.
If he was using opioids and went on suboxone, there is a drug problem that can be treated, most likely outpatient if he is not using.
Opiates are calming and do not contribute to psychosis the way marijuana or stimulants do, but they are super incredibly addictive and possibly deadly if an overdose occurs. Plus withdrawal can cause psychosis. If dual diagnosis treatment or separate treatment for substance use disorder is offered, successful treatment will help him to stay sober and stable enough to remain in treatment for mental illness. If he will self-medicate at every opportunity, he needs help.
Mental illness is his primary diagnosis and needs the most focus. But I have never heard of any person with active Substance Use Disorder and severe mental illness who recovered while using.
He started using opiates before he got out of high school, and on opiates, he is symptom free.
When we realized what was going on, we cut off his supply & he started the suboxone treatment.
That lasted for probably 6 years, but he came to hate it - it’s very hard on your body.
He used benzos along with the suboxone - prescribed - but I’m sure he became dependent on it.
Those 2 drugs kept him out of active psychosis until this year when he tried to come off them faster than recommended - along with stopping his Zyprexa.
A few days before his first hospitalization this year, he stopped them both cold turkey. He never had any physical withdrawal symptoms, but combined, he was thrown into psychosis and lost his insight. The treatment providers know about all this, and they had already transferred him in his outpatient program (not his suboxone dr) from substance abuse to the medical unit. Their opinion was that the substance abuse was very secondary to his psychosis after about 6 months of evaluation.
To be honest, if he felt normal, I do not think he would be more than a social drinker, maybe not even that.
When I say at any turn, I mean that’s when his mental health is acting up. I have literally lost track of all the prescription drugs they have tried over the years with varying results, but he will say the only thing that ever worked was the opiates - and because he can’t get the opiates he wants, he tries what ever else he can get, which isn’t very much. We’ve talked about it at length and honestly, because I know enough drug addicts that I know when it’s the addiction talking & I call him on it, and I truly believe he is trying to feel normal rather than high.
He’s chasing that comfortable feeling where everything was OK and he didn’t worry about every little thing. That’s the way “normal” people feel pretty often and how he never felt, no matter how good things were going.
Sorry if that doesn’t explain it well enough because it’s complicated. I’m not in denial, but it’s where I am right now. I have no doubt that on his own, on the streets, with money & a contact, he would be a heroin addict.
However, this new intensive program will also adjust any substance abuse issues as well, so I’m once again hoping for the best and preparing for disappointment.
I use the expression “hope for the best, prepare for the worst”. I don’t know if my son ever tried opiates, he will go on caffeine binges where that seems to help. His illness will tell him caffeine is bad for him and he stops the caffeine. When he worked and had access to cash he self medicated with marijuana. Made him even more paranoid.
You don’t sound like you are in denial to me. I think normal is what my son was chasing.
My son has used marijuana before. Thankfully, he agrees that it can make him worse.
Caffeine doesn’t seem to bother him either way as long as he’s sleeping OK, but I try to limit it anyway.
I’ve switched out his coffee to decaff without mentioning it and I limit how many soft drinks are in the house. He drinks a lot of water and herbal teas, but now & then he wants to go on a Red Bull binge. I’ll try to buy him just one, but if he goes in the store he’ll get a 12-pack and they’re gone in a few days.
The opiates are bad because they’re addictive & just generally bad for you, but like Hereandhere was saying, they don’t seem to aggravate psychosis - even the research says that. There are even anecdotal accounts where people with schizophrenia who are also heroin addicts have lessened symptoms when using and increased symptoms when not using.
I certainly don’t want my son to be a junkie, but if they could figure out how to harness the good things about opiates and get rid of the addiction issues, it would be a miracle for a lot of people, including those with chronic pain.
I’m sorry if I implied that I thought you were in denial; that was not my intention.
No worries - I didn’t take it that way.
It’s just when I start explaining, I always end up thinking I sound like I’m in denial.
I’m not - I just know I can only tackle a certain number of things at any given time.
In the past, I’ve been very careful to make sure he only chooses doctors & therapists who would look at both substance abuse & his mental illness, but we quickly move on if someone wants to focus on the substance abuse only.
He saw one psychologist who would spend the entire appointment trying to convince him to go to NA meetings. I had no problem with him going, but he’s so socially anxious, the very thought puts him in panic mode, so after a few months, he got tired of promising to go then having to go into the appt & say he didn’t follow through. That was making him anxious too.
I still suggest those NA meetings though - maybe one day he’ll go. I’ve heard people are very nice and accepting there, so it could be very good for him.
Congratulations! This is good news.