Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

I am afraid what do I do when my dad dies?

I am so afraid of when my dad dies
It could be soon it could be another few miles
he is 75 and is in high stress situation, completing 22 child-psychosis-years (Think pack years of smoking) already
2 schizophrenic sons and one with psychosis and alcohol misuse issues with core of PTSD

I am schizophrenic, married
My dad had to keep me away when i suggested going to visit my brother in her last 2 years (spent in acute psych ward) or prior that there was no point
Knowing how stress affects me

My brother is too traumatised to work, dyslexic…
Drinks almost daily
Background low level psychosis
And so abused to such a huge degree
He has spent 5 years with no friends to speak of and only sees me and mum most of the time

When our dad dies i do not have the capacity to help my brother
I can’t hold down a part time job or a year of study without needing hospital
I’m moving 45 mins away instead if 3 mi this year with husbands work

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I am really sorry to hear about your situation. You have some very serious and important concerns. Have you spoke to your mom about your concerns? Is it possible that at some point your sister could get a court appointed guardian to look after her needs?

I had a friend that had a serious mental illness and no one to look after her and she was appointed a professional guardian through the court. Sometimes they are case managers or attorneys that are appointed but they are screened and monitored by the courts and must keep detailed records.

Today my friend is doing much better all around because of the help she has received. Hopefully maybe your husband could assist and accompany you in having brief visitations with your sister when she is doing better, so you can try to stay in touch. I hope your mom’s health stays in good for a long time in spite of the smoking and stress.

Sorry I can’t be more helpful, I wish you well.

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Thank you so much Catherine
I’ll look into it
She has refused help consistently
I’m sad for my Dad and brother both

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I know how sad it is, I have a mom with dementia and a sister with schizo affective disorder. Neither of them get the proper help and there is very little I can do about it. I care for my adult son with schizophrenia and I have PTSD for which I see a counselor, and that is all I can manage. I do send cards and letters to my sister and that helps a little, because once in a great while she writes me back. My younger half sister controls everything with my mother and she refuses to associate with me so I never hear about my mother. Lots of mental illness in my family. Maybe outside counseling could help you cope with the situation? You sound insightful and counseling helps me manage. Take care.

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Thanks for getting back to me
I find this forum very giving (including you!!)
It is amazing to have such fellowship with people
Your family sounds as difficult as my own
I am sorry to hear about your mum
My father was hit by a car in front of me in May
he is just about walking but with a lot of pain
I’ve had quite a bit of counselling
Probably just a few pit stops with a true genius of tgerapy but i feel a lot of benefit still and have had quite long periods with therapists who were just okay

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My mom is in the early stages of Alzheimer’s…at this point she still remembers who everyone is… although she sometimes gets details mixed up and forgets what she is doing at times. And she will repeat things she has already talked about… my parents live in another state, so it is not easy not knowing how she is doing.

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I hope your PTSD is not too severe and life turned upside down too much!
although that is the true definition of it
it is so far reaching
its at the root of all problems my sister has

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You are sweet ask about me. I have been in and out of therapy most of my life and overall it has done a lot of good. It has given me a toolbox of coping skills I can use when I need to. I also took a course on DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) and it was very helpful. I still have triggers once in awhile like extremely loud noises or if I hear screaming. Huge crowds…bad traffic…or situations where I feel kind of trapped. I have kind of designed my life with my adult son so that both of us have a quiet and somewhat organized environment and time to ourselves. We seldom have visitors (even though I would welcome them if they came) the fact that we don’t have many keeps life even more calm and predictable. It helps that my adult son is very stable on his medication and very compliant and naturally a pretty chill guy. We get along well and it is just me and him. We make pretty good roommates.

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I’m married to a a mildly autistic guy
The relationship i had and still have when he’s at work with my Dad has been amazing
I think she’s my closest friend who I could have as a daughter
My family saved my life along with some long stays in hospital
I hope your son and you get through all the bad times
There were times I didn’t trust my mum when psychotic
She says since I met my husband , she’s not worried about me any more

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I’m so glad you are happily married. I feel like since my son has gotten stable on medication our really “bad times” are behind us now, and we had a lot of them. It sounds like in spite of the problems your family endures you are still very close, that is a real positive! Thanks so much for sharing!