Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

Schizophrenic father - just wanting to talk


#1

Hi,
I am new to this sort of thing. It has been a difficult day and I feel like I needed somewhere to chat a little.
I have known since I was 16 that my father suffers from Schizophrenia and for most of the part I have dealt with this on my own without the family support of my brothers/sister or mother. My sister no longer speaks to my dad and hasn’t for sometime now and it is just me and my brothers there to assist and support him.
My dad is on medication and for most of the part has his illness under control but it is days like today (usually when excessive alcohol consumption is involved) that are difficult and where I really just wish I had someone to talk to.
So today my dad called the cops on me… because I told him that I didn’t have something he never gave me. He got erratic and told me that I was keeping things from him and trying to steal things etc. Everything is ok now, but it just hurts sometimes. I am always there for him, first out of my siblings to help him with money, food or even to buy him smokes, mainly because he doesn’t want to interrupt their work and married lives (regardless of the fact that I work full time and study part time). Although things like this have happened before I just find it difficult to understand how someone I love and someone I know loves me can so easily turn on me. Usually other people are at the receiving end of his paranoia it just very rarely is me and it has made me feel… i don’t know.
Sorry for writing so much I just thought it might be nice to speak to people who have an understanding…
Thanks Ness


#2

hi ness. i’m so sorry you’ve been on the receiving end this time. if it’s any consolation, i’m sure he doesn’t mean to hurt you. i know that when i was unwell i told my family that the voices were theirs and that they hated me. it reduced my mother to tears. i felt so awful once i had recovered my equilibrium for hurting her in such a manner and i’m sure that once your father has regained his composure and has insight again, he will feel awful for putting you through such torment. he may not apologise but as a parent i know i would feel awful if i or rater my actions made my children feel bad. hope this helps xxx


#3

I know when my son is psychotic that he has a very difficult time distinguishing between what the voices are saying and what I am saying. It has become clear that even when I might be speaking in the most even and softest of tones, he hears it as yelling and berating.


#4

Hang in there and am proud of your effort and Patience to be there for your dad. I had to learn not to take things personally and it took me a Long time to accept my husband`s condition.
We live in a very small village with absolute no possibility to join Support Group…such are too far away…
just to talk and receive Moral Support is utmost important and I know it will help
Feel free to talk any time and I will try to listen and if possible give a Little advice …thanks for sharing your Feelings and hardship…
Just to talk to someone who is going through difficult times just as me sure helps and I am glad and thankful for this page…Talk to you later


#5

sorry…got the names mixed up and hence the confusion…this is all new to me


#6

I know its hard. I grew up with a SZA father who preferred to be without meds, a mother who was clinically depressed barely medicated and a brother who is bipolar who was most of the time over medicated. My parents fought a lot because of my dad’s paranoia and he constantly thought my mom was cheating even though he was the one who cheated. My mom took the brunt of my father’s anger and abuse.


#7

This is a good place to come to! Its also good to get into a support group in your area. Sounds like when you dad drinks it amps up his symptoms. Maybe you can just leave while hes drinking? Also-tell him how you feel when he drinks and treats you that way. You have 2 brothers helping too…that`s great! It would be OK for you to leave if he starts verbally abusing you.


#8

Saying it’s the disorder doesn’t make it any easier to deal with our own hurt feelings.

It sounds like alcohol abuse is a trigger for your dad’s paranoia. Have you looked into Al-Anon or AA groups?


#9

My husband called the cops on our son and accused him of stealing fishing rod that the police found during a search.
I’m sorry if your Dad did a similar thing. But 3 years later our son finally stopped drinking with the help of AA and now we are all great friends and visit.

It could be the drinking that causes problems more than sz. If he won’t go to AA, there is alateen
http://al-anon.alateen.org/for-alateen


#10

Hi Ness…I am going through this with my father. He has kept his illness under control but since June has relapsed…after 38 years. My mother whom he lives with gets the grunt of it all. I am still learning myself since I have never known my father like this. If it can be of any comfort…realize that when he acts this way…it’s not really your father. It’s his disease. My mother and I have accepted that as hard as it may be. I’m new here as well…but I’m here when you need to chat. And have faith that he will get better. That is what I hold onto lately.


#11

i know ur feeling , i have the same problem with my schizophrenic brother , i dont know but listening to stories like urs relieve my thinking that iam not alone suffering from that and there are others struglle to make life of people they love better even it is hard for them anf affect their own life , hopping ur father and my brother getting well .


#12

I hope you feel better soon, Ness.