Dear oldladyblue, you’ve summarized exactly what we’ve been gone through, it’s not only them who experience the terror, hallucinations and the sleepless nights along with the trauma of having the police over, seeing them suffer, deteriorated and at some point frustration because if you don’t know who you can turn to our loved ones don’t get the help they need. Again, I thank you so much for sharing your experience with us, it gives us encouragement to keep trying.
May we all have strength and courage to continue on.
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Sando,
Who is treating your son with Clozapine? And how did you get him to agree to it? I live in DFW also and still looking for solutions.
@TXm0m Dr Jaye Crowder, long/time friend (25+ years), went to church w him, and our doctor. My son doesn’t like him. Or any doctors. But we grind it out with little bribes!
And our son was on 4-5 meds for years prior to going off EVERYTHING a few years ago - which preceded his initial episodic break. Bad. Required emergency surgery and forced treatment.
It was during these subsequent treatments that we were first introduced to Clozapine. It had fairly quick, positive results. I was like WTH has this drug been?? I’ve posted previously about how it’s a generic and docs/pharma companies are financially encouraged to try the new brand, more expensive therapies. You have to be persistent to get to it.
Regardless, it worked but we also had him on 4 other RX, including an injection, lithium, Seroquel, etc. My son is scared of the ‘law/system’ so I typically have to use that to get any compliance. Ie, if you don’t comply and something else happens, then I won’t be able to help you. (Likely true).
But - he did threaten to quit all drugs again and through our ‘negotiations’ he agreed to stay on the Clozapine and discontinued everything else. We were concerned but it’s been a few months and he’s doing pretty good AND less lethargic.
I had asked Dr Crowder, if I can only keep him on ONE pill a day, which one? Clozapine.
So, for us it’s a combo of carrot and stick techniques and a reminder of the very negative consequences of going off meds. We have had to kick him out, take his vehicle, lock his credit card, cut-off communications for a few days - which sucks. But has worked. Drawing a line is scary because you have to be willing to hold it!
It’s not all sunshine and roses, yesterday wasn’t good but we got through it. Hope the best for you.
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Hi he is 25…he is like a kid though
It gets hard that he is 25 toi…and people without a schitzo kid will say.tome…hes a man…kick him out and have tough love…
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@c11 I truly suggest that you don’t give serious thought to advice from people with no experience with a sz loved one. Most people in the world have zero idea of what kind of experience psychosis is. Some psychiatrists don’t even deal with psychosis and so they aren’t much help either.
I understand that your son is 25 and like a kid. You must make your own decisions on how to help him. Don’t ever feel badly if someone criticizes you if they’ve never been in your shoes.
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Joining NAMI, reading TONS of great books suggested through this forum, and researching the history of mental illness in this country - have shown me that NO ONE understands the SZ condition unless they have it, or care for someone with it.
We live in a very self-focused, individualized world. Me, more, now.
I don’t believe this is right or healthy. We were made to live in community. To love and care for each other. Caring for a loved one w SZ is challenging.
But if not us then who? Love wins.
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Sando, you are so right: Love wins. Maybe a little at a time is all we get. Keeping on loving no matter what is what makes me feel good about myself when I try to go to sleep at night.
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I really applaud your attitude; I’ve been critized for having our son living with us, he’s 49 but I really believe that there’s purpose in dealing with this challenge; I don’t have a clue what tomorrow will bring, yet there’s so much to learn ourselves from our relationship with our loved ones and their ‘new’ them. We take one day at a time and try to make what matters most the best we can: we meet with the rest of our adult children in a restaurant if it’s possible or another of our daughters have us over her house. We have to adjust to it is what it is.
I have hope and as you say: “this shall pass”!
- If not in this life surely in the next one!
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My kid is 49 yo. He calls me every nasty name when he’s starting to be upset and unmedicated but I remember once he had to go to court, the judge called him and he turned around looking for me and asked the judge: “can my mom come?”
He used to be very level headed, with the illness taking over he’s just like a 3-5 year old, at the same time like a very rebellious teenager.
Hugs to you.
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Yup, they can be so mean…then like a cute little kid…good they still have their mom to love them unconditionally…
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We’re trying the ‘bribes’ and he doesn’t fall for them yet!
Must be that the wrong ideas and distrust is so imbedded in his head that he feels better saying no, however on the street he trust the most unthinkable and undesirable people, and he places himself at their hands to be taken advantage of.
I’m glad you came up with that plan that has worked out for you and your son, even better that he’s down to less meds.
Wherever they are there’s rules to follow but no one cares and loves them better than family, especially parents.
Wise approach!!!
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This is my experience also. She is experiencing a set back now, and we all are working hard to get her back on track.
I have a wonderful daughter, who now shares a home with my other daughter who has 2 teenagers. We support her and she drives and essentially has a life of her own, though without a friend community. Which I wish could change, no mental health community resources for adults to get intellectually stimulated. Any ideas for adults would be welcome. The social side of life for a mentally ill functioning person is nil. Just wondering if you know , NAMI was great.
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I started inviting my daughter to come with me when I go out for lunches with my friends. I usually eat out at a restaurant once a month or so with a girlfriend. Now my daughter looks forward to our “trio” dates, and knows three of my women friends socially. Otherwise she would never go out on her own socially. Recently I met another mother/daughter that work where my daughter works. I met them as I drop off/pick up my daughter daily and they’ve been waving at me for months now in the parking lot. So I told my daughter we should go out to lunch with them. She invited them (what? she invited them?) and we went this past week to a diner for lunch and had a great time. Another lunch date is planned with them next month. This is the first social date with a co-worker she’s had in years. I am the spark behind arranging these dates though. My daughter’s confidence has grown immensely in the last two years we’ve been going on dates with others.
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I hope you can help your daughter through her setback quickly.
NAMI was great for me for support. I went to the family support groups. My daughter would not attend the groups for those with mental illness though I tried to get her to go.