I have been offline for a while trying to enjoy the good days and recover from the exhaustion/burn out of full-time caregiving. Our 20 yo son who lives with us (husband and 2 sisters) was diagnosed with SZ 17 months ago with his first Psychotic episode. He has been off medication the last 6 months. He has no insight into his illness (anosognosia) and will not accept the diagnosis of SZ, he does however believe he has anxiety.
At first he was doing well but since Mar-Apr he has been declining. He is a shell of the person he once was.It is obvious to us he is and has been experiencing auditory and visual hallucinations, gets easily confused, combative, confrontation and agitated. experiencing disorganized speech and delusional thinking (someone outside pointing lasers at his room). He rarely eats, once a day and I’m not sure how little sleep he gets.
I’ve tried to reach out to many places looking for resources or orientation on what to do but I’ve only gotten more confused and overwhelmed and I feel helpless. It breaks my heart to see him declining but he will not go willingly to get assistance.
The options so far are very extreme; a lengthy process to get him involuntarily committed and his right taken, wait until he commits a crime or the path of less resistance: he willingly seeks a medical evaluation or talk to his psychiatrist for medication.
I feel so alone, as if I am the one that has to make “the call”, my husband works all the time and is never present in any medical appointments, training/education or support groups - so he will constantly tell me “its simple have him hospitalized”, my oldest daughter (21 yo) whom he is super close to, tends to avoid the house because “this is too much responsibility” and my youngest daughter (16 yo) is supportive but struggling with her mental health. This is a lot to witness/live with on a daily.
I am conflicted on what to do. I feel hopeless and paralyzed by pain. To see him go through this dailyis like having a piece of your soul ripped away, its suffocating.
I feel like I’m dammed if I do, dammed if I don’t. If I have him involuntarily committed he will feel betrayed by his only mother, who’s role was to protect him… we’ve always had a close, loving, nurturing - an incredible relationship prior to this horrible illness - which is what I grief for daily.
I don’t know what to do?!