I don't know what I am doing

Thank you hope. I have the book. I’ve read it and been applying it.

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Hang in there, it’s a tough job.

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He sounds like my son…its sad…do u think getting people.together woth this diseace would help them…

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We live in a State where unless the client commits a serious offense he’ll be forced to take the meds, over the years I have found out that the meds also can be forced only while in the hospital. It’s a hard challenge. To take the meds on their own they have to be willing to do so and our son is not ready to accept them and he has to have the shot; so we still advocate for him and try the best we can to live with what we have; sometimes he tells us that we’re not his mother or father but I can live with that, I know the illness takes over and deep down I know he loves us.
Hang in there, each one of us caregivers have learned at different pace, after all there’s so much we have to figure out ourselves; I read a few threads and hope offered you a deep great insight, this challenge requires a lot of patience. That book ‘I’m Not Sick I Don’t Need Help’ will give you lots of advice on how to communicate with him, your son; I’m still trying it with my son, he’s very suspicious and paranoid and as hope said: it doesn’t happened overnight. Everything is so puzzling, sometimes meds work sometimes they don’t, I’m seeing it right now with my son. Over all DON’T REACT! This is a big one. I have learned it the hard way a few times.

Hugs and prayers to you.

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That part of the illness: isolation and paranoia in my son’s case makes him appeared as very close minded and puffed up, he’s very judgemental of the only friend he has and others including every family member, this couple of weeks he has avoided his friends’ calls so he doesn’t want to do anything with no one, on top of all that he has been banned to ride the bus, he has a bike but he rather walk; I know there’s the other forum especially for them but looks like he doesn’t want to accept he has what others have, easy to see the speckle in somebody’s eye but the beam in it’s own. Anosognosia is very prevalent in sz.

There’s the NAMI peer support group for clients and he knows it, it’s great for them as the support is for caregivers but he’s not ready after all these years.

Hugs and Happy Mother’s Day!!!:rose:

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Yes i need the support group for me, at first i went and stopped myself. We spent last week,my son getting violent, had pilice come, they convjnced hi. To go to hospiy, but he hit nurse * he said to me later they were all torturinv hi. And laughing at him) so i think hes hallhcinating and seei g things wrong. He went to jail, thdn to emrgency for 4 days as no hksoiyal beds…then behavioral health for o ly a day and half. A nice examiner doctor calls to see if son can come home…i dont know why they cant get him more treatment , they said theyd have a talk with him about bou dries and rules of our house and that he prticipate i helping and working as part of reward to come home.???..anyway that didn t happen anyways…and im usually blamed as the over indulgent parent for not having stricter boundries and Allowing this behaviour…??? Even trained schooled professionals think i.should be able to orrect my sons behaviours with rewards and rules…did they? Did they put good boundries at the hospital so he wouldnt hit the nurse?
I read the medicine tri tillex can have side effects when go off and o …which he did…hallucinations…whicb im thinki g is occuring…he goes back and forth betwee an innocent little kid , crying and w ting to be at hime with his “kitty cat” to a mean bully, which seems possessed. I noticed his eye swelling too and read the medicine side effects and that seems to be a warning. Will alert doctors in am…

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I am sorry you feel blamed for your son’s behavior. I understand totally. When my daughter was hospitalized once for 30 days, one nurse in particular seemed to feel I should have been able to control her behavior and told me so often when I came to visit and she would refuse to see me or leave in the middle of the visit.

Why did you stop going to the support group? Some days I left there crying, but it was support I received there despite my overly emotional state sometimes.

If/when your son goes to jail again, perhaps you should go to his arraignment the next day and talk to the judge. It was ONLY because I did that (went to the courtroom) that the judge could see my daughter was delusional (she kept yelling that I was NOT her mother) and he made medication mandatory or she would have to stay in jail. I think that is the only reason she stayed on her shot those first few months. My daughter was in her 30’s when she became ill.

How old is your son?

I’d love to have more judges like the one that ordered your daughter the medications; I have gone to the court a few times and have not gotten a decision in our favor.

Sigh, oh @rosyd, I am sorry that talking to the judge didn’t go in your favor. I’m hoping that your battle gets easier. I agree that anosognosia is the most awful thing stopping those affected from getting the help they need. Only after years on meds did my daughter gain insight to her illness.

Dear oldladyblue, my son is 49 yo. his journey began when he was 12-14 and diagnosed at 19, over the years he has landed in jail a few times, it’s been heartbreaking because by the time he gets help he’s been very deteriorated, he has lost lots of weight in spite of constant eating; unfortunately as soon as he has been released from the hospital, even the State hospital he has stopped taking the medication because the enforcement of meds has been only while hospitalized. This last time he was released from the State hospital (in 2020) after six months, he had been incarcerated 6 months prior to that, and he had taken only 2 injections and stopped! The cycle repeats more often, I’m his legal guardian and that’s why I have gone to the court 2-3 times to try to obtain a mandatory medication order for him, I have filed the paperwork without a success.

While reading your post I know it is possible, perhaps I have to look for a different judge since the first one sent me to another office and the person at the counter said that I had to hire a private attorney! Ha, what a way to give me the ‘run around’!

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Thank you! I am new here and have an adult daughter with schizophrenia. She has three children, two teenage girls (which are living with my husband and me) and an eight year old son, living with his father. It is the saddest thing we have ever witnessed. Your sayings will be reminders of how we should all support her. I plan to share them with the family and keep them close to my heart. Thank you.

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Welcome 1122! I am so glad you found us. :heart:

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Oh my @rosyd what a long struggle this has been for you and your son. I feel so sad that there has been no court order possible for you. I do hope you can find a way to navigate the run around you are getting from the judge, and the person at the counter. Keep trying to find someone who will help you is all I can say, that is what I would do. Also you may be able to find a lawyer who will help you pro bono. That happened for me when doing my will, trust and estate during my daughter’s psychosis. I cried in his office when he said he would do it for no charge.

Hello @1122 . I am sorry you are struggling with your daughter’s illness. How great you and your husband are to be caring for the granddaughters. I came here daily when I found this site for comfort and inspiration, and now years later, still come here. I hope you find continue to read and post here.

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Welcome 1122, this is the right place for support and guidance from what has worked for many others.
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Dear oldladyblue I’m wondering what State you are, we’re in IL, looks like the laws vary somewhat in different states; when my son has been at the hospital (State Hospital) he’s had the injection administered there couple of times and only once at the local hospital but after that he has to go as outpatient but he just doesn’t go, he insists that the meds don’t help but I know they do and I know he’s very resistant to them. We’ll keep on trying.
Thank you so much for your kind words and encouragement. We’ll keep on trying. :heart:

Yes, @rosyd , laws very by city, county and state. I live in Tampa Bay Florida, in Pinellas County. I learned laws slowly over the years my daughter was ill. I didn’t understand how HIPPA could prevent getting someone treated when they badly needed it, or how involuntary hospitalizations worked, including involuntary medicines. Once I knew the ins and outs it was a waiting game to see what small or large changes I could make using the laws. The arrest that led to my daughter’s salvation from psychosis (2nd arrest and 5th hospitalization) was the biggest test of my own stamina to apply laws to an unwilling person. She got herself arrested out in town one day, but I went to court the next day scared and worried but knowing what to ask the judge for that time (long term court ordered treatment). In the beginning I was totally against using police or courts. I was also against psychiatric drugs in the early days of my dealing with my daughter’s mental health, and searching for a natural solution. I had to grow and change. My determination to help her never wavered, just my actual strength of mind and heart would rise and fall depending on how badly she acted out. I am very blessed my situation worked out well.

I hope you can find more solutions for yourself and your son.

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Thank you so much for sharing your experience on how you overcame the obstacles in your daughter’s favor, as I can see it took persistence, advocacy and learning the laws that can be contradictory, I know that as a legal guardian I have plenary authority to make decisions for my son and the law in IL says that a relative can make a decision for the person not having the ability to make it for himself but then you come across the blocking judge.
Thank you for your encouragement, I really appreciate it. :heart:

@oldladyblue You are such an inspiration to me and to all of us who are so close to giving up. Thanks for coming back to our forum and encouraging us.

Likewise, my son is now doing better after so much pain and trauma these past 3 years (4 psych units, after emergency surgery to save his life). Med compliant on clozapine, working regular hours as a volunteer, and we occasionally hear him laughing again.

We know we’re blessed/lucky and we also know how quickly and horribly it can change.

Big love to those of you new to the battle. And bigger love to those that have the scars and wounds from decades in the fight - for coming back to encourage our band of warrior caregivers.

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