Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

I will share a rare glimpse into what I call subdued insanity

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I don’t ever hear anything similar to this with my son. Our experiences can be so different, my son’s scz is extremely paranoia based.

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My son can go back and forth also. He will soon be 23. He was raging and ranting in Spanish Friday night. I got up and sat in the kitchen till he somewhat calmed down which was about 2:30 am. When I woke up he had turned on Mariachi music and it was playing in the kitchen. He has been off meds for about two months now.

I’m intrigued by the Spanish. Did he already know Spanish? or is he learning now because of some new delusion?

Yes the forecasts always say “somewhat better” for the majority of the sufferers. One of the researchers working on the brain open switch theory (far worse than layman’s terms) said the illness has a 25 year course. I wonder at what point they start counting the 25 years.

I am curious, if you don’t mind, when did you start getting a 100% perfectly normal hour about 5% of the time? Do you think she has reached the moment some of the sufferers say “felt like a cloud lifting from their brain”?

Your half of the conversation was rather soothing.

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Yes, He had 2 years of Spanish in high school and went to Costa Rica the summer before senior year. I never heard him studying at in his junior year, I had to get a tutor for him to pass. His grades really plummeted. When he was taking the other evening it was as though he was studying. Los atego, Los meligo, Los ??? that kind of thing but he was saying it conversationally. Then he would just speak jibberish. I actually prefer it to the stuff that sometimes comes out of his mouth. It didn’t last though. Today he is back to laughing really loud and not communicating much. He is back home and it is stressing my husband out. I wish he could just accept and let it be.
My sons behavior bothers him.

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When my son is in a state where he sits and laughs to himself, it bothers me too - because that’s when I know he’s hearing voices in the traditional sense. And, I feel he’s lost contact with anything even resembling reality.

He usually has to be awake over 5 days to get to that point.

I can take the delusions (subdued insanity, perhaps?) that he talks about now & then without batting an eye. Pacing doesn’t bother me - the laughing to himself breaks my heart. Especially since I know it will be just another day or two before he’s alternating between wandering off and being totally unable to communicate.

It’s not a state I can leave him in.


We are talking to him about his meds but so far he won’t budge. It is sad but he is not a danger yet.

Is it the shot? My son was pretty happy he didn’t have to take it anymore - he’d rather do the weekly blood tests than get the shot. He said it hurt, and I’d notice his arm would be jerky, even in his sleep, for about 12 hours after he got it.

Of course, it didn’t work for him either - but he’s much more accepting of the pills now. He says they don’t do anything, that he doesn’t even notice he’s taking them.

I see huge differences though.

But, I’ve also been where you are, and could be there again. Just a year ago, he wouldn’t take anything. If nothing else, I’m thankful that his 6-month experience with the shot and all those hospitalizations have him med compliant for the time being.

I think he may have mentioned one time right after he got out the hospital the last time that he wasn’t going to take the Clozapine. I think I just calmly said that was OK, but if he stopped the pills, I’d stop picking up his cigarettes. He knows my calm voice means that I’m serious, so that was it. He does sometimes say he just takes them for me - or because I said I wouldn’t get his smokes - and that’s OK too.

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Women can be especially tricky to handle in volatile situations.

Years ago, one of my jobs entailed some crowd control/security work as part of the job. For some reason, coaches, whether they are male or female, are often used to supplement security at some public high schools. We were taught by the local city police force, who had an officer on campus, what was expected of us during all school gatherings and fights.

The logistics for handling males fighting was pretty basic and followed a set routine. Males usually displayed “rules of engagement”.

The officer and the regular security people dreaded female fights. No rules to those fights, everyone gets hurt.

Our son has been off meds for about 2 and a half months now, and of course the paranoia and weirdness is over the top now. Interestingly, after some major ranting 2 days ago, we suggested a trip to the hospital and he said yes. He voluntarilly went in for an evaluation and was admitted without being a “danger to self or others”. He’s still not accepting meds, but maybe there is hope for a little bit of insight? Clearly he doesn’t like the way he feels. Otherwise, he would never have voluntarily gone back to the hospital again. The first 2 hospitalizations were forced, so this is something new. Hoping…


My son always walks around with earphones,listening to music.I think it stops the voices and helps him maintain a somewhat normal life.
I sometimes blame myself for not recognizing his acute hearing as possibly the cause of this disease.
I’m always thinking that if I had recognized it earlier,I might have been able to prevent it,entirely.
Maybe someone reading this could try using earphones and their favorite music to see if it helps,even a little.


Interesting. My sitting in my room laughing is what disturbs my parents the most. And it seems to draw the strongest negative reaction on people’s faces when I do it in public. But, it is the thing that upsets me personally the least.


It does help distract me from what the voices are saying, and it gives me something else to focus on. The more complex a song is, the better.


My son listens to older rockn’roll songs but another thing that he does,is he can
name a song,who sings it and what year it was made.
He used to read books that I wouldn’t attempt to read and always had a super
Another thing is,he loves fishing,so we’ll start fishing this month around
the lower mainland.

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My son has been to the hospital so often ( I think I counted 14 times) and he had gained no insight. I really don’t think he needs to be there unless he it is unbearable here. I am just going to try to keep him out of there if I can. He has come home many times laughing in the back seat. For whatever reason his Pdoc has never suggested Clozarol. I’m taking it a day at a time. The laughing doesn’t bother me on the least unless I’m awakened by it or startled. I told him last night we were sleeping and didn’t hear another peep till morning.
He is sleeping and that is good.

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When my son laughs it’s a lighter, happier laugh.