ThanksJustsad. My son just called,he is in Vermont where we lived when he was a teenager, he of course wanted money and told us of his plan to start an investment company, at least we know he is safe .I think he,ll probably be reported to the police by someone ,just hope he keeps in touch (he will for $) well the roller coaster goes on
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I’m so glad you heard from him. Hope it works out as well as it can for the time being!
Thanks Hummingbird me too
I join you in thanks that he has surfaced. People with SZ can be very resilient! However, if you want him to get HELP and not ARRESTED, I suggest you proactively look up what to do when a person is missing and homeless. For one, you can be documenting his history with mental illness. If you are proactive, you will need this sooner or later to PROVE his mental illness and you can provide this ahead of time to hospitals or crisis intervention teams in the area where he is living so they will KEEP him and not just release him after a few hours. It is impossible to know what might actually happen, but you can be prepared if you want to be. Look up the laws on involuntary commitment for the state where he is living on the Treatment Advocacy Center website, where mental health related laws and other statistics are listed by state. Don’t count on the system to help him get better; it will likely require a lot of diligence on your part, depending somewhat on the state.
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Thanks hope4us, I am trying to get the police dept number in the town he is in to explain his situation and I will also follow your advice ,you seem to have a great deal of very helpful knowledge, I fear it comes with a lot of practice,thank you again
You will have better chance of results if you document his MH history in writing and do some research to find out who is the best person to receive that information, assuming they will take it. They may not. But if you find out he is arrested or in a hospital or EM, you will have the document ready. If it is on your computer, you can email it to someone quickly. Once you have it, all you have to do is to keep it updated and you don’t have to recall all the details every time. Trust me, I have done all of the above.
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Thanks ,I will do this ,bless you
I am a mom who is new to this so these forums where people share info is helpful to me. I don’t have a lot of time being a caregiver for my mom of 98 and my husband with chemo brain or demenia so I am reaching out to all sources of information to educate and help me change to deal with SK for my 42 yr old son. Parts of the book mentioned is available on utube. I learn better using a visual rather than reading…this way concepts are explained to me and I retain …I have learned so far that I have to look at my son as an adult not my child anymore as someone posted earlier …this really put a perspective that I haven’t realized before…if I want a relationship which will be different going forward has to be from my efforts not his or I will lose him forever…the thought of this is unbearable …it is an emotional roller coaster that we can’t get off.
Thanks to everyone who post…it does help…even the twisted humor “enjoy the vacation” …it is so true…if only we could…another saying is “bad communication is better than no communication, however we must strive for stress free communication and not judge why the ill person doesn’t see it the way we see it or want it…they are ill and we as their love ones are their advocates.
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My son went missing when he was 28, he is now 30. He was paranoid and was delusional . I am not sure about everyone here, but when my son gets like this my son cannot think straight. He is hearing someone is coming to hurt him. He calls 911, his doctor, everyone he can possibly call to tell them about these people coming to hurt him. Anyway, he took off, he told me he was going to the store and never return. I did call 911 and they had him in FBI system as endangered. My son was found 4 days later in a homeless shelter. I know every state is different. But in NJ the police department did everything to find him. My son is not violent, but it is heart breaking to see him suffer and thinking he needs to protect himself from these people.
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You really have a lot of care giving on your plate. I feel your love for your son as I do for my son who will be 40 soon. Yes he is an adult, but I am the only one that will be here for him no matter what. I am reading, for the second time, I AM NOT SICK I DON’T NEED HELP! by Xavier Amador, Ph.D. I am taking my time and really studying the book as I pray everyday that my son will be content in his living conditions. He is right now in the state hospital.
This is a very heavy cross that we all carry, and the only ones who understand the pain.
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Laughter is the best medicine…the vacation made me laugh…
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It IS incredibly sad. Where is your son now and how is he doing? How are you?
Right now my son has stopped his medication. So in a week or less his paranoia, auditory hallucinations will be back. He was doing good on the medication “Haldol”, my son lives with me he can’t live alone. The nightmare will soon begin, he will call the police at least twice a day. They come over and talk to him, but they leave because in the state of Florida, they cannot take a patients rights away, by taking them to a hospital, unless they are a threat to themselves or others. He will knock on neighbors doors and let them know they are in danger, it becomes a nightmare. He won’t sleep which makes it worse. I have no rights, because he just turn 30. I can work, how can I leave him alone. I wish I knew how others do it, to have some kind of a life. I am am alone with him. So I don’t have his dad helping me. I am just waiting and as I wait, I cry and my stomach is in a knot.
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Exactly!!! It’s such a sad life.
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@Lily1 I can feel your pain and worry. Coming off of a medicine that is helping is a really sad thing. My daughter was put on Haldol twice here in Florida after being Baker Acted, and another time on Zyprexa, and another time I don’t know what she was given. However, once I realized that a Haldol Dec shot existed, and that it lasted 4 weeks, I waited for the day I could see her on that shot. It happened 10 months ago, and she has been 95% better since then. I was almost out of my mind with hopelessness when that miracle day came that resulted in her staying on the Haldol shot.
When she was unmedicated, I had to work and I did leave her alone during the day. It worked out somehow that I could keep working.
I hope you can work out getting your son back on his meds.
@Lily1 I am so sorry. I understand your moment by moment angst. If your son’s behavior stays bizarre, there is a possibility he will do something to either (a) get arrested, or (b) appear to be a danger to himself. You can be prepared with a WRITTEN document describing his history…hospitalizations, 911 calls, medications, behaviors, etc. Find out if there are CIT (Crisis Intervention Teams) or other similar mental health units in your area and call THEM instead of the police while he is doing bizarre things. Give them your WRITTEN document (keep updating it and have extra copies as you need them) of his history with hopes that they will keep him long enough to do some good. My son went knocking on doors before, too. Eventually he disappeared for 3 months. It’s an amazing story but things are so much better now.
It is still a journey. In hindsight, I would have learned more about the illness earlier. We didn’t know about NAMI (family support group and Family-to-Family class) until things got disastrous. We didn’t know about the book “I Am Not Sick; I Don’t Need Help” to help us talk with our son who was not med-compliant because his brain could not process that he was sick. So these things are always my advice: Get educational and other support (NAMI.org ) and, for a loved one that has anogognosia (lack of insight…inability to see himself as being sick and needing help), read and try the psychology explained in the book (or start by looking at the website LEAPInstitute.org )
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My son is in Washington state, I am visiting staying with my daughter because I feel he needs his space and I’d rather him come around on his terms. I seem to stress him because I am so hyper. I really have to discipline myself to remain calm and not attack him with 100 things at once and telling what he needs to do. I ask him no questions. Today we watched the football game and he stayed for dinner my son n law cooked. Hopefully he will come by tomorrow
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I pray my son doesn’t stop his meds…he doesn’t like the way they make him feel and I noticed a few days ago he was starting his crazy talk again…when he came over today he was calm. I noticed that when he fell asleep watching the football game his legs just twitched …a sign of Haldol side affect
Hansenli you have a lot on your plate ,I also fear losing my son to homelessness or worse,so we do what we can to go forward,prayers
When my son’s psychosis was severe, I could see that it was not him, but the inner torment that was driving him. The way his face would contort was frightening.
Would you son ever self-commit to be in a safe place? My son did feel shielded when he was in the hospital.