Yes. I still have hope even if it only last 10 secs
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Do you keep a log of observations? When things were not going well, tho it was sometimes difficult, I kept a log of “good days” vs “bad days”. It can keep some things in perspective, help you recognize patterns, and increase your awareness when things are actually going good - hopefully for longer than 10 seconds!
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Mental log…he tries so hard but can’t maintain…right now he is begging us not to sell the house “mom where will I go” I promise I will get a job…if we don’t sell, we face legal action if anything happens with the neighbors by him or his friends. …we got an offer on the house but the price was lowed with stipulations to fix…what do I do …sell and put my son 3000 miles away on the street or take house off market and leave it to fate if we end up with legal action with my husband so I’ll…2 heart stents, Leukemia, and now aortic valve replacement in the near future …how does one decide? Help…need advice
he tries so hard but can’t maintain…right now he is begging us not to sell the house “mom where will I go” I promise I will get a job…if we don’t sell, we face legal action if anything happens with the neighbors by him or his friends. …we got an offer on the house but the price was lowed with stipulations to fix…what do I do …sell and put my son 3000 miles away on the street or take house off market and leave it to fate if we end up with legal action with my husband so I’ll…2 heart stents, Leukemia, and now aortic valve replacement in the near future …how does one decide? Help…need advice
I agree with @Vallpen that keeping a log or a sort of a diary is a good thing to do. I still have the log I kept when my daughter was in psychosis, and just reading it over every now and then helps me put in perspective how much the medicine is helping her, and how lucky I was to just persist until the circumstances changed for her (and me).
As far as deciding whether to sell the house or not, @Ohmywhatnow no decision you make with your heart and your head can be wrong, it’s just that some decisions turn out better than others and none of us can see the future exactly.
Maybe you can set up a corporation to take ownership of your home where your son lives, and he can be the corporation’s tenant, so that if anything happens there and someone tries to sue the owner, the owner is not you personally, but is the corporation. That stops your own liability if someone gets hurt in that house, I think. Myself, I have no other assets than the home I live in and homestead laws in Florida prevent someone suing me to take my home, so I’ve not really got a clear picture of how your situation could be handled.
Personally, I know that I could not make my daughter homeless, and I have set up a trust to keep her in my home after I pass (since she lives with me). I saw a lawyer who gave me his services for free once he found out my situation. I didn’t expect that, but he had a big heart, that lawyer.
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Does your son take any medication? If not, is that your goal?
He has been prescribed meds but he quits taking them because he has agnosia in that he doesn’t think he has a problem . God has been answering my prayers in that the house sale did not go through today because of it did not pass inspection with the wiring . I pulled the contract with the agents agreement to help me get help in fixing it and list again in a few month at a higher price. This will give us time to find him a place and have additional monies to work with. There has to be some “consequence” for his action but no so drastic as throwing him on the street dealing with so much. I feel like I am playing a barter game…you do this and I will do this and if you don’t…Now if the corona virus will just correct itself with the warmer weather common I may be able to get out to the west coast
if that was me I would tell my son that i would not sell the house only in one condition that he would take meds . Bribes with my son works well .
This is tearing me apart. The realtor hired a handyman to Repair damage and to lists again on the market as soon as it is ready. I am afraid of what it will do to him but I feel the time is right to bring him home so that we can try to help him. I gave him a chance and he blew it. Those so called friends will come back because there is no one watching and he is not strong enough to keep them away…if he will not come back to east coast, I will rent him housing as soon as I can. We both have to face it…these problems will continue and I can help him more if I have contact with him…not control but contact…some say forget him but I can’t and I’m feeling trapped withcaregiving for his dad and grandmother and now the corona virus makes the distance worse by feeling trapped…thanks for your suggestions
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Listen to your subconscious Ohmy you are doing the right thing and good on you, it’s all so difficult. Take care
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Momof2 : How is your son doing ?
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I sure hope so…he calls everyday begging me not to sell…”I’m going to get a job…you can count on me”!
He means well and on meds he really believes he can succeed…we all have heard this song…at 42 he is not going to change …it’s tough love from here on out…with my situation with my husband and my mom… I need to get this house out of my name…I have offered him money, support, and 2 places to live…
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My son is doing really well, he was living in a group home but now he is home again . He is taking meds(haldol inj) and cogentin for side effects. He is. Like he was years ago, agreeable, helpful and pleasant to be around. I really think it’s the meds, he is trying to get a job via vocational rehab and although it is painfully slow he is doing all the steps to make it happen, we are sooooo happy
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I had read your post this morning and it had 1K views!
Everyone dealing with this disorder has gone through some type of crisis and is looking for answers but once people do get better they tend to not post as much which is understandable. I think it’s so important to hear the good and hopeful.
Reading your past posts from 2017. You sure have a lot of experience with this.
I am thrilled to hear this news. ! Rooting for him and your family !
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@Ohmywhatnow so much easier when the people under care are in the same place. My family is going through this now with my parents and my brother. They’ve passed on his care to us kids, but we’re all out of town and round-robin in. They need help occasionally too and laughably my brother thinks he’s it, even when he can’t drive and lives across town. He gets psychotic and occasionally violent when he drinks and that’s why he can’t live with them or drive either.
I’m debating moving there if things start to get unmanageable, my sister and I were discussing it the other day and she was a bit surprised I’d consider doing it, but I’m the most logical choice. The hope is after the parents pass on, we might be able to move him somewhere closer. These things are hard enough without logistical problems.
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Thanks mojoclay. We have become active in NAMI and have started a support group for others families and friends with similar issues. It helps to be around people with this same issues to brainstorm and support each other.
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I am so glad to hear how well your son is doing. My daughter is on the same injection monthly and she is also going to voc rehab. It’s been a slow road back to some type of normal life, but the results are worth it.
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Yes the results are worth it.
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Thank you for sharing the good news! There IS hope! And we had a loved one with complete anosognosia! It takes.education, diligence, work and lots of patience. I don’t know what worked for you, but NAMI was crucial for us, especially their Family to Family class.
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