Haven’t updated in a long while. Things have gone downhill.
Approx two years ago when we had son committed pdoc put him on Invega Sustenna, then Invega Trinza. Things have been rocking along reasonably well until around the first part of this year. Son started getting squirrely about taking his injection and then when he was due for it this past May, he abruptly said he wasn’t going to take it any more. My heart dropped to my feet. He was already becoming psychotic. His paranoia and delusions really never totally left and getting worse.
He said he was going to take control of his health care and was going to go to another doctor and take Abilify. I knew from previous experience Abilify never controlled his symptoms. And he has never been compliant with taking meds orally. It was obvious that he was not taking any meds.
Things were getting worse by the day. We highly suspected he was doing illicit drugs too. Smelled pot on several occasions and found little tiny empty baggies here and there. Ever since he’s been sick, he has for some reason had really bad false delusions about his dad. Me and his sister too to a lesser extent. He started becoming a real menace to all of us and even people in our neighborhood. I received one complaint email about him from our HOA, as we have strict HOA rules in our subdivision.
He has totaled his last three vehicles and we were paying over $400 for insurance just for him each month. So with his disability money he purchased a nice little Honda Ruckus scooter that does not require insurance. Three months later it was totaled. Or so he said – we just never saw it again and he said that’s what happened. He recently purchased a really cheap scooter and has just about demolished it too.
Things got so bad around here that we finally had to practice “tough love”. We could no longer put up with him being unmedicated, doing drugs, disrespectful and hateful actions towards us, destruction of our home and his living quarters downstairs, shooting birds at passers-by and calling people names in our neighborhood, etc. So we made him leave. First time since his diagnosis 7 years ago we have done that. We called the police to our home to insure his departure was peaceful. Anyone who remembers our story knows that my husband and I have done everything humanly possible to help him for the past 7 years.
I made reservations for him in extended stay facilities ($$ came out of his disability). He was kicked out of both. First one for walking to vending machines in his underwear. The second one for dismantling fire alarm in his room. I’m sure his very bazaar way of dressing did not help his cause either. His sister agreed to let him try staying with her. That lasted one week. Then he was locked up in a little town nearby, I never did get the full details of that. Son said the police tackled him for no reason and put him in jail. Weirdly enough, they just let him go two days later with no charges. idk
So then he was homeless. We received a call from the police last Tuesday that they found him behind a church, it was 4 a.m., wanting information from us. We gave them the scoop so they got a CIT police officer involved, 1013’d him and took him to the hospital, which is where he needs to be. He is not being cooperative at the hospital. The church official found son’s bag behind the church on Wednesday, and the police notified us that it contained meth. What a punch in the gut.
So I have no idea how this is going to end. He cannot come back here. My husband and daughter have been so hurt and saddened by his actions towards them, as have I, but they no longer want anything to do with him. I understand. But I am his mother. I will always love him. I don’t like him one bit right now, but my heart still loves him. Even though I love him I know that I can no longer enable him. I also have to look out for our own health. My husband has had one slight heart attack since all this began and now has a pacemaker. I honestly think I have PTSD. My nerves are completely shot. If I hear a door slam or people hollering I start shaking. My eyes can fill with tears at the most inopportune times.
I am the rep payee for his Social Security. I am going to find out how to turn this duty over to a service that handles these things. His incessant texts and phone calls for money is not helping our situation. I keep telling him that a rep service is not going to be as lenient as I have been, he never lets up. But this is something I must do to cut the cord.
My heart is breaking over this outcome. I fear what is going to happen to him. But I have to let go.