Just found this forum. I have read a lot of the threads here and feel comforted knowing there is a safe place to discuss this extremely difficult issue. I see there are many here who are experiencing the same or similar situations and I thank you for sharing.
My 36 year old son is schizophrenic and moved near me nearly one year ago so I have to work with his issues up close and personal for the first time since he was a minor. (He moved to his dad’s in another country at 18) Same old story - off meds and feels there is nothing wrong with him.
He has been hospitalized too many times to count and has been violent to others whilst in psychoses. He has been arrested a few times and spent 1 yr in jail for setting his father’s home on fire. This got him deported upon release and I am the only person he has in this country.
Presently he is in a bad state and I am afraid of him due to his past violent attacks on others. He will show up at my home without warning and stay for days spending his time pacing for hours, verbal aggression and almost no sleep. Just asking him what he would like for dinner sets him off. I finally got him to leave my home 2 days ago and he is getting worse.
It is scary that there seems to be nothing I can do for him to get help unless he hurts himself or others. I’m scared that he may harm himself. I am so fearful that he will show up and I won’t be able to protect myself. I’m scared, alone and need someone to hear me.
First off, welcome to the forum. Keep coming back.
Sigh, it is a terrible thing, this disease, for both the ill person and the relatives. I had to learn to call the police on my daughter. I didn’t want to learn that, but it was imperative for me to learn. It is true that it takes threat of harm to self or others to get the police involved, as being psychotic is not a crime. Thankfully, my daughter’s path led to forced medicine that ended her psychosis after her 2nd arrest. I called the police many times in the 3 years of her active acute psychosis. Often she acted so normal and not a threat at all when they did arrive there was nothing they could do.
Please make sure that you protect yourself first in any dangerous situation.
I hear you. I don’t know how to help other than to write that and to hope, along with you, that something changes. He does sound dangerous so please use the authorities if needed to protect yourself.
Totally ignore the verbal aggression if you can. I have a brother who talks about battles and such, hoping to get into conversation with me on it. He/they seem to be looking to get a rise out of us family members. Don’t engage. I know, that’s easy to write and hard to do.
Hi there, welcome to the group no one wanted to join, lol. My 30 yo son is currently in county jail due to violent behavior. I took care of him for over a decade and I was scared of him so many times. I always carried at least one pepper spray with me at all times, one in my pocket and one in my purse and another in the side door of my car. I always had a plan to spray and run if he attacked me. My son lived close enough to walk over so I would be careful walking out of my place, and look for him in case
he was waiting out there. I called the police about his behavior for many years a lot of times. They never did anything until he got very violent. Always be on the lookout would be my advice and don’t count on the police to save you, as many times they took about 30 min to show up after I called 911. I would suggest to never let your son in your house when he is in psychosis and keep your doors and windows locked. Sad it is this way, the authorities will usually not take them till after the violence is done. Take care and stay safe.
I’m in the United States. Same story. My ex husband, though, lives with my son, they’ve lived together in a small house. I’m nearby. I get how the mood is so unpredictable sometimes. Same thing here: easily triggered and easily annoyed at the slightest thing. Walking on egg shells sucks.
I love my son so my son so much and I grieve him and his ruined life! Ugh sorry.
My heart goes out to you and everyone touched by this
It’s obvious that you love your son and he is seriously ill. God bless you for caring about him and stay strong. At the end of the day, all you can do is the best you can.
Thank you so much for sharing. This is my first time back here since I posted. My son had a psychotic break and has been missing you a week. Had to file a missing endangered person report. Just found him today. He was Baker acted and he was found in a MH facility.
How does one go about forced medication? He starts feeling well then goes off his meds and then its just a matter of time before the police are called again.
That’s really good advice. The inclination to defend myself is strong and I need to realize that it does nothing and means nothing whilst they’re in that state. Thank you so much for responding.
Thank you so much for sharing. One of the things in the back of my mind is that his best and only friend at the age of 18 at the time murdered his mother whilst in psychosis. It was big news in Canada when it happened. His mother was fearful of him and no one took her concerns seriously. They treated her like she was just being histrionic.
Even with that I find myself second guessing myself when in close proximity to him and fearing for my safety. “He won’t really kill me. I’m being over reactive” kind of thing.
In a weird way it is a blessing that he has a legal record and jail time due to this. I’m taken a little more seriously by LE but still not seriously enough.
Oh thank you for putting that into words! I grieve for my son’s ruined life also. its such a roller coaster we’re all on. I try to embrace the rare good moments in between. I’m so glad we have this forum.
Thanks for letting us know what is happening with you. We do hope you will be safe.
My daughter was arrested twice. I learned from sitting in courtrooms that judges are pretty knowledgeable about mental illness but their hands are often tied. I went to court and asked the judge for help to keep her on medication. He gave her the choice of going on meds or staying in jail. She chose the meds. She had to stay on them as long as her case (assault on a police officer) was active. I used that time to get her on a 30 day shot that I knew worked for her from a prior Baker Act. By the time the court order wore off, she was used to getting the shot. She is still on it and doing well.
Hi there, I have been so scared of my son a lot. Reading your post reminds me that I have to be on guard around him, he could snap at any time. Not many people understand how awful it feels to be scared of your own child. You remember him as a baby and cute little kid and scratch your head and think what happened here, it is hard for me to not blame myself, but the I remember I didn t cause it, can’ t control it and can’ t cure it. It is an extremely brutal disease for person and loved ones. No one would understand unless they have lived it. Uggg
I am so sorry to hear of your trials. My son is 35 and also SZ and in jail. I just joined this forum yesterday. It is useful to read of all the experiences, so i think this is one of the right places for you to be. I noticed on our sherriffs website the is a registrar for people with mental issues so if the cops get into an encounter with someone they can be told by dispatch that they have SZ or whatever, and it may help diffuse the situation if its nonviolent. So check with your local authorities to see if that is possible is one suggestion. Being a lady you are at a physical disadvantage with your son and so it would seem you need a person (probably better to be a man) to be with you if you WANT to have encounters with him to help him. I have been working with my son for 7 years and some of the milestones are getting him to voluntarily abstain from alcohol and MJ, but it took years and tears. SZs all seem to hate thier meds and when my son got off his, he got in trouble. So i do agree that until better cures are available or the patient becomes more amicable meds are a necessary evil. Long acting minthly injections are an option if you can get him to cooperate. The tendency for violence in your situation is VERY dangerous for him as well as you. Many times i have ignored my sons delusions and tried to change the topic to something he likes, often pairing it with a reward like paying one of his bills or treating him to food he likes, some times it snaps him into a better mood. Often our SZ loved ones lives are so miserable it just takes a little to offer them some relief. Of course its not permanent and every new trial is just around the corner.
Thank you. I’m so sorry for what you are going through also. What is this shot? I’ve not heard of this. If that is something possible for my son it would make life so much easier.
My daughter was tried on 5 or 6 different medicines during the 5 times she was Baker Acted. One time she was soooo much better after she was released to come home, I was shocked how much better she was, but when it wore off the psychosis returned. The lightened psychosis lasted just over 3 weeks. She wouldn’t voluntarily get the shot again, as unless hospitalized, she refused all medicine each time she was released. I needed to know what the medicine was, so I got her to sign the HIPPA forms to get all her medical records and that’s how I found out what medicine it was (the Haloperidol Dec Shot, which is often given in hospital emergency rooms). Since I knew what medicine worked, after her later arrest, when the judge released her from jail to a hospital to get on medicine, I faxed the doctor at the hospital what medicine worked before, and he put her on it. I am pretty sure without my involvement, she would never have gotten on the right medicine and stayed on it.
