Today is a little better. I have just lived through 5 days of absolutely insane shizophrenia acute symptoms. My son had been pacing, rocking, restless, banging doors, walking up and down stairs, talking to himself; banging walls till his knuckles bleed, repeating the same jibberish over and over and over until I thought I would go insane myself. But I tried to get him to talk (I’ve lived with this for 9 years i know it can work) and address the voices and tell me what they are saying, tried to agree with the voices (since they are part of him and to offend them is to offend him -create anger- and perhaps provoke another episode of cutting…trying to cut them out)…but also tell him that sometimes the voices just give one side of the problem and that to discuss them with me I can help him see also another side so he is not always feeling they are completely in control of him.
But the problem is trying to make sense of the jibberish!!! The word salad. How do you other carers do it? The auditory hallucinations are such a mess, even the words themselves overlap and sometimes sentences he makes are fused with 3 or 4 thoughts and almost always connected to events in the past which he gets irritated with me if I don’t remember or “get” at once. It is beyond frustrating trying to communicate. Sometimes I just wish I could get inside his head and tape shut the mouths of all his voices.
He says it is like having the TV on constantly on 8 channels. So very sad. Wasted youth, life of a beautiful gentle soul. And Freud refused to see schizophrenics??? Too troublesome, he set the earliest stigma. That’s why I never read his work. Because somebody has to do better with this disease. Somebody HAS to make it known to the world that these lonely people suffer every little bit as much as a physical sickness…and yet are scorned and laughed at and ridiculed and people run from them in fear.
Empathy and kindness and understanding…is the only cure (with meds) …how can we make people change the stigma…I live for the time this happens. The time when society forgives and accepts and understands this isolating sickness and how it tears families apart and drags the carer down like a heavy anchor on a sinking ship.