Correct, he is back to homeless. Last week he came into my home after drinking and was cooking at 11:00 pm while I was trying to sleep. I calmly mentioned that was disrespectful and that I smelled alcohol. He came unglued and started his aggression of telling me to go the F to bed and Fxxx sleep, leave him alone. I wasn’t even talking to him and he was yelling from the kitchen for me to shut the F up. He came into the hall up to my bedroom door and kept yelling and cursing at me, even stood in the hall and told me not to come at him. I knew if I said or did anything that he perceived to be threatening it would end very badly. I asked him to please sleep in his car and leave my property in the a.m. he refused. I waited until next day, asked him to get up and leave, his reply. “Leave me alone, I am not bothering you” He has been told repeatedly, he cannot just lay around the house and do nothing, this is not a hotel. He refused so I call the sheriff and had him escorted off my property. Of course he is very pissed off at me as nothing is his fault or responsibility. He is now sleeping in my mothers shed where she keeps her hay for horse. He has no shower, bathroom, money or food. He calls me and says why did you do this to me. My reply, you knew the rule and YOU CHOSE to do it anyway. Of course most people in their right minds would not chose that knowing they would lose their housing/support. This has happened so many times and each time he gets more aggressive towards me. I finally told him I no longer trust him or his behavior and until he gets help and does something for himself I will not do it for him. He is Anosognosia and feels nothing is wrong with him and refuses meds. So at this point not sure how this will play out. His probation officer is aware, the crisis unit, his therapist, the sheriffs dept. all know about him and his illness. So crazy that our society cannot do anything for these people until they hurt themselves or someone else or ask for help, which he will not do. My heart breaks for him and I will never give up on him, however I know I have done everything in my power, I now have to visualize him being happy, healthy and living a better life that I know is possible for him. I have been told by everyone, he can only help himself now. UGH… 
Hi Dudley,
Thank you for your interest in my story and for your questions.
I did not think it would be any different the second OR the third time. He decided on his own to move back to where I am living. The first time, we moved together, into a small place with my elderly relative and he lived with us for two months. He went back to CA as he felt out of place and was getting delusional and unhappy with everything. Months later, he won a small lawsuit which enabled him to fly back on his own accord and try to live here again. But he couldn’t find a place to live, so he went back to CA when he ran out of money (I paid for his plane ticket back). The third time, he convinced someone to buy him a plane ticket and he had no plan at all and even surprised me by showing up at my work. As much as I try to let him know it isn’t a good idea to come back without money or a plan, he keeps coming back. Maybe I am his only friend. Maybe he feels that he needs to be in the same place where I am. Whatever the case may be, he only feels comfortable in CA, where he grew up. Period.
I do still speak with him every night. He is very delusional and I am concerned that when his CA friends get tired of him asking for money again, that one of them will offer a plane ticket back to me.
I wish there was a better option. He is highly intelligent and extremely manipulative with police, doctors and therapists. One therapist who I was in touch with kept trying to get him to admit himself to a psych hospital and he just stopped going to see her. He keeps engaging in somewhat risky behavior that I fear will result in him being arrested and imprisoned again rather than being sent to a State Hospital, which, although not ideal, is better in his case than prison would be. That said, CA is the best state I know of for him to be, homeless or admitted to the State Hospital.
As far as I know, in CA and also in the state where I am living now, a person has to be endangering themselves or others to be committed. He has never been violent or been a threat to anyone (except once when he was traveling around the country and he felt suicidal but that hospital let him out because he refused psych meds).
The best I can do is to keep being positive and verbally supportive, stay in touch with him and hope he doesn’t get into too much trouble. I have been through a lot with him over the past almost ten years and now that he isn’t nearby, I can work on healing and helping myself again (and my relative, who I am caring for).
I see from your posts that you understand the love/guilt equation. It is so tough to figure out and to come to a point where everyone is happy and doing well. Some families are able to do that.
Dear @LifeIsHard, I have no words of wisdom, and I am so sorry you are under the impression that the Disease is winning again… It does have a way to do that, indeed, this f** disease… the breaks are short and far between.
What I can share for myself though is that when the person does not have insight and the medical (pharmacological) support they need, not much is gained when we have them nearby… I read in the story about their husband, a desire to take care of himself by having food, and an easier climate to deal with, although he is away from the family… In a way, I can really see how this desire to take care of himself (a task that will fall on you otherwise) IS loving!
I totally understand your feelings around this, though, as I get how frustrated @2frustrated is. It was a hard reckoning for me, but I accepted my limitations and I know I cannot live with my son. My mental health would not sustain that. Instead, I take care of myself as much as I can, and help others that are struggling with loved ones find a balance and a life in which they can be happy.
Do we do everything perfect? Heck no! Once in a while we lose our north… but I do understand that each person has to be granted the dignity of making choices, no matter how awful they seem to me.
Big hugs, and wishes of serenity for you both!!
Maria, you are so right!! I now know and I have told him so that I can no longer help him until/unless he helps himself. He was supposed to call a psychiatrist today for appt., I doubt he did that. Although my heart breaks for him, last night I finally slept with some much needed peace.
I will continue to visualize him healthy/happy and at some peace. He is such a wonderful, smart young man but cannot function at any level like this. Thank you for your support. such a difficult situation for all of us.!