@caregivermom, this sounds all too familiar. My son left on foot and was gone for hours, sometimes days. His first major break, he was 19, gone for 3 days, Police found him, took him to hospital, he stayed in hospital for 3 months. They diagnosed him, got him on meds, and the social workers helped him get on SSI. With that, I was able to find him his own place. They were reluctant and hesitant about finding him a long term care facility or a group home, mostly because they were probably overcrowded and there was a waiting list. They put the pressure on me for housing after I insisted he could not come back to my home to live with me. They gave me extra time, they said they would do the paperwork to get him approved for SSI, and that they would help speed up the process, but it was on me to find him a suitable place. My worst 3 months ever in my entire life! Correction, the worst past 5 years of my life! Nothing compares to something like this. You can never prepare for it nor can you ever just get used to it and peacefully accept it.
My point is, is your son on SSI? What are your thoughts about getting him his own place? My son was only 19 at the time and too young to be on his own, and I felt horribly guilty, but I really had no other option.
He is now 24, and he’s had his share of ups and downs, mostly because he just decides to stop his meds on his own. When they stop abruptly like that, it’s a nightmare. This past summer he was in & out of hospital 3 times within 2 months, mostly because he stopped taking meds after getting out of hospital. He’s somewhat stabilized now, but I never know when he’s going to decide to just stop again. My nerves are completely shot.
Driving is out of the question when they get like that. They lose all coherence and a sense of reality. It’s dangerous. I always took the car keys when I knew he was in a “state”.
I don’t have much to offer you as far as a solution because I don’t know the whole situation, but if you are financially capable, you finding him his own place may be an option. If you’re 100% certain he can’t live with you.
The cycle seems to be getting picked up by the police and they are either jailed or hospitalized. And then where do they go from there? That is the question.
Hope you can figure out a livable solution for all of you.