Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

Mother With Schizophrenia, New Here (23F)

Hello Everyone

This is the first forum I’ve found regarding this subject and I’m glad to be here. I suppose this may be more of a vent post than anything but I hope someone can relate to my situation.

My mom has had schizophrenia for as long as I can remember. We believe the trauma of having her last child (my younger brother) is what triggered the schizophrenia in her. It is… tough, to say the least. It is on and off with her. Some days she’s better (but never good) and some days, like right now, I feel like she doesn’t even see me. My dad takes care of her but I can tell he is tired, stressed and exhausted of being her caretaker. He yells at her constantly. He knows she’s mentally ill but he gets so frustrated with her and even goes so far as to hit her sometimes. It’s never more than a slap on the head but it is so scary and heart wrenching to watch my mother bother my dad to a point where he’s almost crying and then take out that anger on her.

Recently, she is doing something she has done in the past which is take random things from the house and throw them away. She throws out her clothes, food, pots… whatever comes to mind. She’s mostly unresponsive and sits around all day just staring off into space. I can’t tell if this is better than when she believes things are on sale/free at different stores and begs my dad to take her grocery shopping for a sale that doesn’t exist.

I try to talk out her thoughts with her but she doesn’t look at me and just begs me to leave her alone. She’s extremely religious (she’s Hindu). She just told me “you know this is god’s home right?” to which I felt speechless. Truth be told, I’m afraid of her. I’ve seen her turn her back on different family members outside our intermediate one and condemn them. I’m scared of how she looks at me. What does she see? A nuisance? Not her child?

No medicine ever seems to work for long enough. I’m worried that all the medicine she takes has permanently messed her up and given her Parkinson’s (her hand shakes uncontrollably). I am afraid I will one day inherent this disease and it is latent within me. I am afraid that when I move out she will bother my dad into an early grave. I am afraid of how much money her medication and treatments will cost as she gets even older, we can barely afford to treat her as is.

This disease eats everything around it. Thank you for listening to my struggles.

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I know this may sound harsh but is there anyway to get your mother into a home. My daughter was put it the hospital then they put her in a step down home to get her medication stabilized. Its just seems your family needs a break, for a while. I can understand your fathers frustrations, but it does not sound healthy for him either. It sounds like your whole family may needs to learn how better to deal with her. I am sorry, I am not in your situation and I don’t want to get you angry by giving advice. I just feel your sadness and frustration and wish there was something to make things better for you. Feel free to post your frustrations any time it does help a little. hugs and prayers to you.

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My dad has considered the idea but I think it upsets him. I agree we need a break, especially my dad but as long as my dad feels like he can take care of her he wont put her into a home. It can be costly and I know my dad has other expenses to worry about so he just sees his struggling as a way of his life now.

We definitely do not know how to deal with her even though this has been going on for 20+ years. We just take it day by day I suppose. Thank you for your reply and words of kindness though. Just knowing that there are people out there who understand is healing.

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Do you mind if I ask how old you are ? How old is your mom?

Hey I am so sorry your family is going through that. Maybe you could encourage your father to seek out therapy/support for himself if he has not already. That all must be very emotionally exhausting for everyone involved. I am 21F and my mom also has schizophrenia although my situation is a bit different from yours. If you ever want to chat with someone who is going through similar stuff as you feel free to message me.

Hey, I’m F29 and my mother has schizophrenia too. I’m sorry but I don’t have any helpful tips. I’m just here to maybe make you feel less alone.

I’m sorry about your mum, and I’m sorry you have to be in this situation. My life was very similar to yours until my mum started the medication she’s on today. Things are better now than they used to be 10 years ago. But we went through a lot of bad, horrible things to get here. And you’re right: it eats away at everything.

Again, I’m so sorry, and please take care.

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