Family and Caregiver Schizophrenia Discussion Forum

Moving far away from son with schizoaffective disorder

My husband is retiring in 2 yrs. Our son has been living on his own in supported housing since he was 21…he is now 27…and doing ok. He is compliant and accepts his illness, but he is unable to find a job and has no social life. He doesn’t drive, but will get out using public transportation.
We are considering moving to Az from NJ as it will be much more affordable for retirement and better climate. I feel very guilty and afraid to leave my son so far away, but he says he is fine with it.
We always tried to make him as independent as possible, as we obviously won’t live forever.
There is no chance of him coming with us…he can’t tolerate change and he would have to try to get in a new mental health system . He is already in independent housing and has resources in place and he would have to start from square one in a new state.
Has anyone else been in a similar situation where they have to decide between their secure financial future or stay put in case they are needed?

I haven’t been in that situation, but I think your son will be okay. There are no 100% guarantees in any aspect of life. Things are about as good as they can be.

I think that it would be ideal if other family members he can rely on are close by where he lives.

If you cannot be there near him, it would be nice if other reliable family members can check up on him once in a while.

People with schizophrenia need a strong support system - Best of luck to you.

Family support is important.

Rather than spout off, I’ll suggest the following (because the answer to that question and many more are in the book, as well as the stuff that follows):

Piles of research show that sz pts tend to get “better” when they…

  1. Get a copy of this book and read it and have their families read it, as well.

  2. Get properly diagnosed by a board-certified psychopharmacologist who specializes in the psychotic disorders. One can find them at…

  3. Work with that “psychiatrist” (or “p-doc”) to develop a medication formula that stabilizes their symptoms sufficiently so that they can tackle the psychotherapy that will disentangle their thinking.

  4. The best of the therapies for that currently include…
    DBT –
    MBSR –
    ACT –
    10 StEP –

  5. the even newer somatic psychotherapies like…
    MBBT –
    SEPT –
    SMPT –

  6. or standard CBTs, like…
    REBT –
    Schematherapy –
    Learned Optimism –
    Standard CBT –

  7. If you/she/he needs a professional intervention, tell me where you live, and I will get back to you with leads to those services.

Rsuzy, has he ever had any drug problems? I hope this isn’t too personal and don’t answer if you don’t want to. Did you know that he would be fine with independent living going in?

I have had to consider all of these things in 20 years of care. If you can answer the questions positively
you should be good to go.

Does your son have someone he can trust to help him if he needs serious help?

Can he take good care of his eating and health on his own?

Can he handle all aspects of his medication? Can he reorder them on time?

What happens if he doesn’t have enough money to maintain his life?

Could you get on a plane to be with him in an emergency?

Can he get emergency medical help if he needs it?

Can you take him in if he is injured or sick?

There are good risks and bad ones in your plans. There needs to be a backup plan for if
things get off tack. I hope it works for you.

  1. Get properly diagnosed by a board-certified psychopharmacologist who specializes in the psychotic disorders. One can find them at…

When I click on this link only psychiatrists come up. I believe my son was evaluated by a psychologist and has had been seen by about ten different psychiatrists over the past 5 years. He is now with the one with 35 years experience. Should I still seek out a psychopharmacologist? Please advise