New Here- Lost. Scared

I had a situation with my son and had taken NAMI classes they told me to do the same and I did but that didn’t matter. They took my son to prison and he was there for over 6 months. What a nightmare. Now he is in transitional housing and that has its moments too. My son is in a program called Toms Court and his meds are now court appointed. My son actually cam after me with a butcher knife and he got my other son in the shoulder. He was in psychosis he was saying we were trying to poison him. He was not taking meds. My son is only been diagnosed in the past three yrs after my husband passed and my son feels responsibility for his death because he didn’t make him go to the hospital. To see your son go from a very smart and kind person to what he’s like now is a nightmare but I know God will bring us through. He has so far and I know he will continue to do so :slight_smile:

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Thank you so much. Your reply was so helpful. I did a little research, and I found a NAMI group in my niece’s areas— sent her the information encouraging her to join. I also sent her the information that you passed along to me about the probate court. She’s going to have a long talk with her father about moving forward with this, with or without him. I thought about sending the information to him directly, but I think it’s best coming from his daughter right now.

You are so right about our own mental health during this fight. I have found a support group for myself here, and I am looking into therapists in my insurance network.

I know I’ve said it over and over again- but I really can’t thank you all enough for your support. It means SO much to me right now.

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My heart breaks for you. I’m so sorry that you had to go through that. It must have left some emotional scars. You’re right about getting through this— we will get through these terrible times with faith and with love.

Thank you for your reply, and your advice. Everyone has been so kind and helpful.

Please feel free to send an email to NAMI Oklahoma to inquire about the virtual family support meeting. You can mention Scissortail group or there might be others as well so they may be able to guide you more. You can also send them a message via FB or look for NAMI Greater OKC affiliate page.

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Just one more voice to reassure you that she will not resent or hate you or her daughter for having her committed. I have had my severely anosognosic daughter hospitalized a number of times, and understandably, she is initially outraged. By the time she is released, she acknowledges that she needed to be there, although I don’t think she’s ever actually thanked me!

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Is there a way you could bring your niece and nephew to live with you for a bit while your sister gets help?
My sister was bipolar. This was many years ago. I’ve never forgiven myself for not doing more to help her children. They suffered terribly with her illness and we kept wringing our hands and trying to keep her on meds. We should have instead spent our time and resources getting her children out of that situation.

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Thank you for that information! I appreciate it so much.

I can imagine that’s the way it goes for many people. I can’t see my sister thanking me for any of this later. It has to be confusing and terrifying, as well as somewhat humiliating to admit that you have a severe illness, and that you need help. Honestly she’s pretty mean right now. I’m at the point where I don’t care if she ever thanks me. I’ll thank myself haha

It really is hard fighting this fight, then feeling unappreciated at the end of every day. I want to say to you all that I appreciate you. We appreciate each other. Thank you for helping your daughter.

Thank you for helping your loved ones, and for helping one another.

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That is what I keep telling my niece. I live in Texas, they live in NC. I want them to feel safe and loved every day. At first I felt like focusing on my sister was the way to go in order to help the whole family. Now I’m seeing that her children have suffered long enough. And their father isn’t making the right calls. They have grandparents that literally live half a mile from them, and they know what’s going on— They did take in my niece for a while, but my sister and brother-in-law threw a fit about it, and demanded that she move into their little guest house… it’s ridiculous. I visited my sister several times over the years, and though I knew that she seemed depressed, I didn’t know how bad things actually were. My brother-in-law’s parents kept it from me as well.

I want the kids to stay with me. Or to at least stay with their grandparents— but I know that my sister would absolutely lose it if we tried, and without any medical intervention or proof that she is unwell and unfit I would just look like a kidnapper. The police and CPS have been to their house several times and taken no action. It is very disappointing.

My niece is welcome to stay with me, and is coming to visit soon. But she refuses to leave her baby brother. I understand that. At 19 years old, with a minimum wage job and no place to live (besides her parents guest house that my sister is trying to kick her out of at the moment) I don’t think she could get custody of her brother. It’s something that she and I need to discuss soon. That’s what it has come down to. The safety of her brother.

All of that being said, I won’t give up on my sister. But the kids are first priority.

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No problem. Please let me know if you need help to get connected to the virtual group. I can ask from the coordinator but am sure you can email them and inquire.

I’m sorry to hear about your sister’s psychosis. They say the sooner you get help for them the better the recovery. I know personally how hard it is to do “involuntary commitment” but unless you can get her to a psychiatrist who would be willing and able to prescribe medication there may not be any other option. Unfortunately medication seems to be the only avenue to treat psychosis. Of course, connecting with medical care (i.e. therapist, psychiatrist) and family support is extremely important. You can contact NAMI person in your or her area for personal support. The last time my daughter developed psychosis I had wonderful support from a NAMI person. I’m glad your sister has you and her daughter to get the needed helps. Remember to take care of yourself!

@OnYourWoodlandDress Thank you as well, I am really grateful to be able to pass on anything from my own experiences that might be helpful to others. My journey has been beyond difficult, and I never take for granted that not everyone can endure that journey or gets a happy ending, and I am equally mindful of my own gratitude for our own successes. It sounds like you have a good beginning here with the help of your niece to get the help your sister needs. Please stay in touch! We’re here for you!